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Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
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10:16 pm - Those marvelous computation machines...
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So, it's looking like I might want to invest in a new computer.
I mean, my desktop is fairly well-behaved, it's just getting up there -- over seven years old, now -- and it simply can't keep up as well as it used to.
I am not really that hard on computers, all things told. The only game I play is the Sims (1, and my computer moves slowly enough with that. There's no telling how bad it would lag with the Sims 3), and my biggest memory-chewers are Firefox and Photoshop 6.0. I do tend to open a zillion Firefox tabs, though. Sometimes all at once. This makes my computer very sad. I don't try to draw much in Photoshop. I use the tablet to color, but there's enough of a lag that attempting to draw directly onto the computer results in jagged, awkward lines and it looks terrible. Now that I think about it, I haven't used Photoshop very much at all in the past year or so. I don't draw much anymore, so its main uses have become cropping and resizing photos. I don't take many photos, either.
I have thus far resisted, but my next machine will most likely be a laptop. Nicole and Gabe have sung the praises of Macs, but I am not entirely convinced. I am also not sure how much of this lack of conviction is a result of real questions, and how much is my utter loathing of change. Change is scary and annoying.
Any warnings or recommendations for brands, upgrades, stores, etc.? Halp, Internet. I am not good with computers.
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(9 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Sunday, June 28th, 2009
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4:41 pm
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Watching the footage of Michael Jackson in his early 20s, I was struck by how vibrant, happy, and just flat-out attractive he looked. To those who followed his career from the start, this was no surprise, but I was born a year and a half after Thriller was released. The Michael Jackson of my conscious memory was more punchline than performer, an unhappy-looking man with at least one foot firmly planted in the Uncanny Valley, whose eyes seemed larger, his skin more pale, and his features whittled away with each media appearance.
Thriller is the first music video I can remember seeing. I'm sure I saw glimpses of others before then, but Thriller was different. It was a neighborhood party, and the kids had been banished to the upstairs of a neighbor's house. Their son, bless him, was a teenager at least four or five years older than any of the other kids and to his credit did not immediately bar himself in his room to avoid us. Instead, he instructed us to watch the video MTV was playing. This is probably responsible both for my love of Michael Jackson's music, and my ongoing interest in the undead.
Jackson was-- is-- the King of Pop, and there will never be another. There can't be. Not because it would insult his music and video legacy, but because the cultural landscape has undergone such a massive shift that no one can ever again be that iconic, that well-known, and that well-loved. Not for long, anyway. We value marketability over talent and our attention spans are short.
I am sad that he is gone, in a detached sort of way-- as I said, I was very young when the bulk of his hits filled the airwaves, and was primarily aware of him as this strange man with a unique voice who danced like nothing I'd ever seen, and seemed to be in the tabloids an awful lot. I had no time to build a love for him to buffer the shock of the allegations against him, and the struggle to reconcile in my mind music that I loved with the possibility of truly monstrous behavior on the part of the artist was awkward, at best. There may never be a clear answer regarding those allegations. If they were true, I hope his victims can find peace. And if they were not, then lies can no longer trouble him.
current mood:  contemplative
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(3 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
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11:07 pm - Want an iPhone 3G?
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| Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009
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2:32 pm
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| Monday, June 1st, 2009
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11:04 am - Damn you, Milholland.
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| Sunday, May 31st, 2009
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8:50 pm
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Many of you are probably aware of the murder of Dr. George Tiller this morning.
I am only going to say this once.
If you believe that Dr. Tiller's murder was a good thing, that he deserved it, that it is justified, or if your reaction to the news that an abortion provider had been murdered was joy, please kill yourself.
The world will be much better off without you.
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| Sunday, May 10th, 2009
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9:39 pm
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I have done a bad thing.
"But Jenni," you say, "we are your friends! We love you! Even when you do bad things. Sometimes especially when you do bad things."
"I know," I say, "but this is... different. This was kind of wrong in many ways."
"Jenni," you remind me, "we are pretty into things that are wrong in many ways. Now tell us, what did you do? We are here for you."
"I'm so glad you said that," I say, "because I made these Bacon Chocolate-Chip Cookies, and-- where are you going?"
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(19 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
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9:12 pm
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Does anyone happen to have a spare Dreamwidth code they would not mind giving me? I am made of curious.
Have painted my nails for the first time in years. Forgot how obnoxious painted nails are, if you don't want them chipped all over the place. Or maybe I just use my nails more than most. Anyway, less than 12 hours into it, the ends are chipped all to hell. Boo.
I will be bitter for the rest of my life that these zombie shoes are not made in my size. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. This should really not surprise me, as the number of awesome/hot shoes in my size, worldwide, is probably around six. But... but... zombies. :(
The obvious solution is to find shoes that DO fit me (which will be an expensive and difficult adventure in and of itself) and then find a way to very carefully paint zombies on them that does not ruin them completely. Or figure out how to make shoes.
Dammit. Now it's not enough that I want to learn how to sew my own clothes, I want to be a shoemaker. WHY DO I NOT KNOW EVERYTHING.
So, this semester's reading was a tea party, as the magazine theme was loosely based on Alice in Wonderland. This leads to speculation of what to do next semester. Ideas thus far:
Theme: Cask of Amontillado. Reading: Wine-tasting
Theme: Hamlet. Reading: Murder Mystery Dinner
Theme: Treasure Island. Reading: Scavenger Hunt
Theme: Moulin Rouge. Reading: Bohemian Revolution/Orgy
... I may need to brainstorm for a while, yet.
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(7 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Saturday, May 2nd, 2009
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12:43 am
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This week has been. Um. Something.
Monday - ( Unproductive meetings and no poetry. Boo. )
Tuesday - ( When getting 9 inches all night long is NOT something you want. Also, presentations. Boo. )
Wednesday - ( Poetry confuses me. Also, lacking internet. Boo! )
Thursday - ( Bacon Chocolate-Chip Cookies, and EEEE MAGAZINE! )
Friday - ( OMG OMG OMG OMG READING ) You know what, I'm not cutting this part. Pbpbpbptbpbtptbtt.
The reading, rather surprisingly, went off without a hitch. I got there when I was supposed to, by some sort of miracle (I am chronically late to everything-- even when I leave the house fifteen minutes earlier than necessary, I will hit traffic or my car will die, or SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN to prevent me from being on time), bearing food and some decorations. Travis, who is apparently some sort of tea wizard, brought various types of tea and something like eight teapots. Dr. Lowery brought two lovely tarnished silver teapots, and Kim, one of the other staff members, got her friend to bring cupcakes and a cake. Her friend? Is trained as a French pastry chef and owns a bakery. AWESOME. The cake was shaped like a Mad Hatter-type hat, with "READ ME" (the title of this issue) written across the band. The cupcakes had little fondant hats that looked like the cake, card suit symbols, or layers of purple and pink icing with a fondant grin stuck on (CHESHIRE CUPCAKES. THEY WERE PRECIOUS). Yet another staff member, Alexx, brought cheese and crackers to round out our feast.
All the contributors who agreed to show up, showed up (and within an acceptable time frame). Facilities and food services delivered everything in plenty of time, and we had enough staff members there early enough that setting up was fairly painless. The table (well, it was two tables put together to form one really long table) looked AMAZING-- white tablecloths, red and white rose petals (fake) strewn about, black and white platters of scones and mini-frittatas and sausage rolls, all sorts of different teapots, a few cups and saucers, and one of the contributors even ran up to his dorm room and brought down a deck of cards, which we put all over the table. The readers were seated in an arc around the table, with several rows of audience seats on the other side. We were able to do an almost complete run-through before guests started really arriving, and even managed some group shots of the staff, and of the staff plus the contributors**. Many of us wore silly hats (I wore Karl! It was awesome), and everyone stuck to the dress code. Generally, there is a vauge sort of dress code for readings, often "wear black" or such. This time it was "wear black, white, red, or some combination thereof", and everyone did so (and, might I add, looked quite sharp). I was very pleased. We even had the original of one of the art pieces in the magazine on display, along with several gorgeous photos from staff members that were used as chapter title images.
Previous readings (at least, the ones I've encountered) have been held in the second floor foyer of the English/Education building. They were always on Dead Day, when there are no classes, but the occasional student is still wandering around sometimes. And they were in the middle of the afternoon. Attendance has always been a major issue because of this-- people are at work, studying for upcoming finals, or just trying to enjoy their time off and don't feel like wandering out of their way into the building. Then during readings, people would have to walk through our space to get to classrooms or offices, and if the elevator was used the noise was beyond distracting (the Malloy elevator is the loudest elevator ever built. Trufax).
This time, we held the reading during the evening, in the downstairs lobby of the dorm, which is gorgeous, spacious, and full of students. While it was a Friday night, and the last Friday of the semester, there were students milling about. I was worried that we'd wind up with more contributors than guests (a very real concern when you realize that we had 17 people up there-- a new record for Laurels, I believe!), but we had about 20 guests when we started, and more kept coming in! I lost track after 25 or so, but I know more people showed up. I would not be surprised if there were 30 (or maybe a few more) folks there to see the reading, in total. The stairs were to the audience's back, and our setup allowed anyone coming in through the doors behind us to sneak around us without interrupting (I don't know that anyone did, use those doors during the reading, though).
We were concerned that the noisy A/C would make it difficult to hear people, but we all worked hard to project and I heard no complaints about difficulty hearing from the audience afterward. If we use this venue again, we'll probably try for some sort of sound system to combat the noise. Or practice reading REALLY REALLY LOUD.
The actual presentation of work went wonderfully. A few people stumbled a little, but nothing memorable. The serious pieces were greeted solemnly, the funny pieces got laughs, and when the funniest piece was followed by a sad story about World War II, the absurdity forced awkward smiles on a few faces (we laughed later). I realized we had a very good balance of work-- some hilarious, some neutral, and some sad. I was the last to read, and then we introduced ourselves and handed out the magazine, answered a few questions, and invited everyone to partake of tasty foods.
Also, Dr. Lowery gave me flowers, and a card signed by the staff! It was very sweet, and the flowers are sopretty. They are in a vase in our kitchen right now.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lllano came! And she and her friend were in dress code, unwittingly. Her red shirt had a wookiee on it, even! I made the Wookiee Noise at her and reminded her of my threat to crash her wedding and throw those godawful Twilight conversation hearts as she and her new husband flee. And yet, she still speaks to me.
phiregrl also showed up, and won the award for Most Hardcore Attendee because she apparently ate some pavement on her bike on the way over and scuttled in with a bleeding elbow and a shaken expression. But scuttle in she did, and lllano and I were extremely impressed by her dedication.
Overall, definitely a success.
Now, to figure out how to top it next year.
*For those of you who have never been in a flood of any sort and are imagining frolicking in the waters like a child at the beach, let me tell you something. This is not water you want to play in. This is not happy water. This is sewer overflow, straight off the bayou, and it smells and looks like it. The news generally advises that if you do wind up swimming in it for whatever reason, you get yourself a tetanus shot as soon as the doctor's office dries out. So, yeah. Not pretty.
**The staff picture may or may not have been The Last Supper-style, after some Eddie Izzard riffs about who got to do the big arms***.
***I did.
current mood:  jubilant
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(5 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Friday, May 1st, 2009
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3:23 am - Hey, you!
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Yes, you.
Are you in Houston?
Would you like to hang out with some interesting people, hear some poetry and fiction, get a free magazine, and eat tasty food?
Are you free this evening (that would be Friday, May 1st)?
Then come on down to the University of St. Thomas for the Spring 2009 Laurels reading/mad tea party! There will be poetry! And homemade scones! And silly hats!
Parking will cost $2 unless you are lucky enough to find a spot on the street, but for that $2 you get a nice and well-lit parking garage extremely close to the event! Also, there is no charge for the food or magazine, so you are probably getting the better end of this pricing deal.
The reading is in Guinan Hall, in the downstairs lobby. It is basically across the little intersection from the Moran Center parking garage entrance, as you can clearly see on this map here.
The reading starts at 7:30 PM and ends when we damn well say so (probably around 9-ish, no later than 10), which leaves you plenty of time to go out and party afterward, to make up for the lack of booze at the actual event (no booze allowed in the dorm, sorry. Maybe next semester will be the kegger/reading hybrid we are so looking forward to trying out).
I will be the one wearing the octopus.
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(1 Bite Mark | Bite Me)
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| Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
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9:04 am - Posted using TxtLJ
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Woke up to flooding in parts of the house; worse than Ike. Tish and her friend are here. They are helpful and awesome.
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(Bite Me)
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| Saturday, April 25th, 2009
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7:15 pm
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It is now, in our darkest hour, that we face our greatest threat.
Zombie Bea Arthur.
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(17 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
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1:29 am - Well looky here.
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| Thursday, April 16th, 2009
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1:04 am - Poems I have yet to write:
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You say "Writing on Writing," I say "Insufferable Meta-Commentary"
Is this Love (or, do I merely desire to shove my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest cavity, that upon hatching our young may devour your still-twitching torso)?
Ode to Lard
Everything that rhymes with Purple
No-No Places
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun (except in that they are on fire)
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(9 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Sunday, April 12th, 2009
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9:17 pm - What fresh hatfuckery is this, Amazon?
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I learned a new phrase today! Amazon Rank.
Yeah, turns out Amazon's listing GLBTQ books as "adult content", which means they are no longer listed on amazon's sales rankings.
This is upsetting for several reasons.
Firstly, in several cases, the books aren't even showing up in searches -- not even using the complete title and author's name. In addition, the lack of rankings mean that these books are effectively made invisible in terms of best-seller lists, and the option Amazon provides of "If you like _____, you might also like ...." which means that unless you specifically look for a particular title (and sometimes, not even then!) you're not likely to stumble across another book that might interest, or entertain, or help you.
And you know what? This would be aggravating as hell purely because I do not believe that anything remotely sexual or anything containing *gasp* TEH GAY should be hidden away. I would be very annoyed, but I would understand, in a way.
HOWEVER.
Explicit heterosexual content is, in many cases, NOT being marked as "adult content". Heather Has Two Mommies has been deranked, Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds has not. Stephen Fry's autobiography is deranked. Ron Jeremy's is not.
I useused Amazon a LOT. My mother regularly hashad me buy books for her, I buybought a lot of my textbooks through them, and I dodid a significant percentage of our family's Christmas shopping through the website. Until they fix this, the previous sentence is going to have to remain past-tense.
current mood:  aggravated
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(8 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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3:38 pm - Have an out-of-context Easter.
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- "Okay, who told Uncle Rick that small children are filled with candy?"
- "... A skeleton bear. That sprays ice cream. What?"
"Now you're just making stuff up."
"Yeah, the bear that secretes ice cream, maybe, but a skeleton bear? You lost me."
- "Shame on you, Jennifer!"
"What'd she do?"
"Nothing."
"Oh. So, just keeping up a baseline level of shame, then."
"Yes."
- "You were so pretty!"
"Yes, I am."
- "It's cute how your car requires a key to turn on."
"It's cute how STFU."
- "I like how everyone in our family goes into this frothing rage at the mention of Joel Osteen."
"Joel Osteen? Have you seen Grandpa's impression of him?"
"I... haven't seen it enough?"
- "What's that in your hair?"
"It's... stuff."
"Is it snot?"
"What is it with you and snot today?"
"It's nature's all-purpose adhesive!"
"No, it's not."
"It's snot."
"It's not snot."
"It's not snot not snot."
"Snotty-snot-snot."
"Not not snot, it's snot. "
"... What were we talking about?"
- "Is that ice cream?"
"No, it's butter."
D:
- "If you loved those sprinkles, you'd have used more of them."
"I do love them!"
"I don't believe you. And neither do they."
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(7 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Thursday, April 9th, 2009
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2:10 am - Revenge of Things 'n Stuff: School Edition
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It occurs to me that I have not mentioned my classes. And now they are a month away from being over. I'm going to have to crack open my marketing book eventually* and I will not be happy about it.
Global Marketing is not a boring class, in and of itself. Well, it kind of is, in that it's all about the dull aspects and nothing about the cool things you need to know when interacting with other cultures. They just tell us that there ARE all these differences, by the way, maybe we ought to go look that up. I fall asleep in this class every single week (it meets on Wednesdays). I don't know why. The professor is not anywhere near as monotone or boring as some I've had, and the course material is a million times more fascinating than Finance could ever hope to be, but I sleep through at least half the class every single time. It is not good.
Marketing Management Theory features my most adorable professor, who is from Romania and looks like Michael Cera and John Hodgman had a nerdy baby**. He has an accent, gets really excited and giddy about marketing, and calls his Mazda a "zoom-zoom". He is precious and I want to keep him in my pocket. Another student has told me that this professor likes me, as I speak up fairly often. I was unaware. Of the liking, not the speaking up. I have not yet reached the point where I talk in class without realizing it. Soon, I expect.
Organizational Behavior features my most wacky professor. She is... um. Special. I find her entertaining, though I suspect some other students are a bit irked with how she lectures. Her lectures are a little all over the place, and her accent is, I believe, Korean with an overlay of the American Midwest. Curiously enough, sometimes they combine to almost sound like a Jersey accent, which is just bizarre. She has possibly the worst handwriting I have ever seen from a professor, and a habit of not completely erasing the board once she needs to add a second layer of text (which happens many times during a class), so by the end of the night the whiteboard looks like abstract art. I'd love to take pictures of her scrawlings throughout a class period and overlay them on one another, I bet it'd look really neat. I know this professor loves me, because I keep supplying answers and actually did extra credit work***. Also, I keep running into her at the gas station next to campus, after class. It is strange****.
Laurels is apparently the one place left on earth where if you just show up long enough they put you in a position of power. I am the editor this semester due to having worked on the magazine longer than some of the other staff members have been in college. Also because last semester's editor, the awesometastic lllano, wisely decided that being editor while simultaneously working full time, going to school, finishing her thesis, and planning a wedding was a great suicide method and not so much fun times. And so I seized power. I rule with an iron fist, and Karl on my head*****. This semester we have a huge staff (that's what she said)-- myself, nine regular staff members, and two on-again off-again folks who show up every so often because we're too cool to ignore, or because I bring food. I think it is the food. It's a pretty interesting group, and some of them will be returning to continue the awesome next semester. The magazine is pretty much put together at this point; tomorrow I send the cover (and possibly the insides, depending on how much editing remains to be done) to the printer, and the reading will be on May 1st. If you are in Houston, you should totally show up for free food and poetry. And madness. Lots of madness. Did I mention the theme is "READ ME", loosely Alice in Wonderland based? Yeah, we're milking the crazy for all it's worth, including doing not-entirely-sane things with the formatting. This is also the fattest issue in Laurels history; I think there was technically one sampler in the past that was two pages longer, but it was a narrower book, and thus contained fewer words. So we win. I did not have an assistant editor this semester, but have found an EXCELLENT protege for next time-- her name is Brittany and she is made of awesome and nerdery. She will be groomed to become editor after I graduate. Next semester is my last, and originally there was not going to BE another magazine issue -- due to budget restraints, it was going to return to being in the spring only. But funds were discovered (I am not sure who found the pirate treasure, but bless you), and staff members I had not yet psychologically scarred for life said they would be interested in returning, and so I have something to look forward to in my last semester of grad school. Because let's face it: the literary magazine is the only reason I bother to GO to school anymore.
Poetry! Holy bees, I almost forgot. I am auditing a poetry class this semester (by which I mean I show up, make smart remarks, and avoid being shot by bringing cookies). What the hell, Me. I hate poetry. EXCEPT THAT NOW I AM STARTING TO KIND OF LIKE IT AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. I blame apiphile, as she keeps posting things that are DECIDEDLY POETRY, and I keep LIKING them, and as such I can no longer say I hate poetry full stop. Dammit. One of the Laurels staff members is in the class, and two others drop by now and then. I have fallen in love with the writing of one of the people in the class, and have sworn to poke him with pointy things if he doesn't join the literary magazine staff next semester, or at least submit work. I am amassing a carefully-selected army of nerds, and together we will make the most awesome magazine to ever exist.
Dr. Lowery suggested I look into starting up a Houston-area literary magazine as a job once I graduate. I think she noticed the look of soul-crushing despair in my eyes when I mention my actual classes.
*I AM NOT JOKING I have not even taken it out of the mailing envelope. Hell, I don't even know for certain it's the right book.
**Calling their hypothetical offspring "nerdy" is only a little bit the most redundant statement ever.
*** I agreed to answer a question in exchange for the class getting out 15 minutes early (when you're sitting there from 7 PM until 9:45 PM, those last 15 minutes are the most agonizing in the world). She said she'd email it to me; she hadn't done so by the day before the next class, so I emailed her. She said I didn't have to if I didn't want to, but I did it anyway. So now she thinks I'm this amazing overachiever.
**** Our most recent encounter:
Dr. H: Jenni! *walks over as I fill up the Tahoe of Doom* And now you know I smoke. *waves pack of cigarettes*
Me: For shame!
Dr. H: I do this every Tuesday. I just need to smoke.
Me: ... We drive you to it?
Dr. H: YES. But see, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to take one, and what do you think I'll do with the rest? I throw them away. *does so* I only want one.
Me: Expensive cigarette.
Dr. H: Two dollars. Cheapest one they had. Do you smoke?
Me: Nope.
Dr. H: Have you ever smoked?
Me: Nope...
Dr. H: Good. Don't ever start. See you next Tuesday!
Me: ... 'kaaaay.
*****This is not a joke; I call him my Editing Hat, and he currently lives in the Laurels office.
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(4 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Friday, April 3rd, 2009
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2:52 pm
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Dear Iowa,
I've never said this before. Hell, I've never said anything to you, before. To be honest, there's never been anything about you that really stood out to me. Maybe it's because I come from a state with a healthy-to-overinflated ego (depending on who you ask), where we're just too full of ourselves to take notice of any but the more histrionic states (I am looking at you, California). Maybe because you were pretty mild-mannered, just doing your thing, no big deal.
But this is a big deal. And believe me, I mean it when I say, Iowa, you're fucking AWESOME. I hope my state will one day follow your lead.
current mood: jubilant
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(13 Bite Marks | Bite Me)
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| Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
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1:47 pm
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I do not like April Fool's day. I am far too gullible, and (especially on the internet) it can be hard to discern that sneaky grin or shifty eye that indicates a barely-surpressed giggle.
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(1 Bite Mark | Bite Me)
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| Saturday, February 28th, 2009
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12:38 am
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
sad