The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

I should be filling out applications for UT now. But I'm not.

My mom wants me to pick other schools to apply to in case I'm not admitted to UT. But I can't think of anyplace - UT included - that I really want to go. I can't think of anything I want to do.
Well, maybe I can. Sometimes I enjoy writing, creating, working on my stories and characters. But not all the time. Sometimes I don't want to do anything, stories included. And so I doubt that would be a wise career choice.
Unfortunately, that means I have absolutely no drive. I know that whatever I choose to do in life, chances are I probably won't enjoy it. I might as well pick something somewhat lucrative, because if I'm going to have to waste my time on stuff that I don't think matters, I would like to at least be paid fairly well for it.
But what can I do? I don't really have any marketable skills. I'm not exceptionally brilliant at anything. I'm pretty damned useless, as a matter of fact. And since my GPA's pretty lousy (I really screwed myself over last year when I just stopped caring about anything and my grades slipped horribly) I've got very little to offer any college. Everyone's telling me to submit an art portfolio, for diversity if nothing else, but it's just those lame crappy "Jap cartoons" that every wannabe from age 12 and up tries to convince people is art. I have no doubt that yes, it is art - but colleges don't want that. They want more original stuff. And I don't have it. So I guess there's really no point.

Maybe I won't go to college. That'll break my parent's little hearts, but it's a helluva lot better than wasting tuition money for me to just wind up doing nothing anyway.
Wonder if TAS would take me full-time after high school. Probably. I could earn enough to live on, maybe find some roommates, share an apartmet. Yeah, I can just see it - a sitcom waiting to happen. Heh. Nah, chances are I'd drive anyone nutty enough to live with me insane, but oh well. Guess it's always an option.
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