The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

The phone

I hate the phone.
And not with that vague hatred we usually reserve for inanimate objects that we know good and well won't hate us back; not that slight irritation with the television because it never shuts off unless you hit the 'power' button really hard; not that disgruntled look you give the computer because it chooses to freeze every now and then right before you get to a point where you can save your work; not even that grumbling resentment you feel towards the alarm clock when it dares to ruin your sleep.
No, I hate the phone. With a passion. I hate it's ring, I hate it's beeping, it's dial tones, and I hate - HATE - talking to someone over it. I twitch and hiss when it rings (which it does a lot; my sister lives on it) and I refuse to answer it. I get this look of utter pain when I hear "it's for you" and my sister or mother hands me that cursed black plastic monstrosity. I hate how people sound weird over the line, how you can never see their face or tell what they're doing. I hate those inevitable times of silence when I have absolutely nothing to say - and I usually have nothing to say, once the 'hello's and 'how're you's are over. I hate that I cannot bring myself to do something else while I'm on the phone because it distracts me from the person who took time out of their day to call me, thus obligating me to listen and pay attention to them until my father comes in and says he needs the line because he's on call, or until my mother needs me to go do something for her, because I'm ever bit as terrible at finding ways to end conversations as I am at every other aspect of communication.

My only use for the phone line is for connection to the internet, which is much much nicer. Real life doesn't have a 'block' option. I have so many chat programs... MSN, ICQ, AIM, mIRC... They're all either closed or I'm 'away' or 'invisible'. I like it better like that. I can see who is online, and if I don't particularly feel like communicating with anyone or even allowing potential communication, I switch to 'away' and I am allowed to piddle around on the internet without disruption.
I hate the phone.

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