At some point either last year or the year before, during one of those times when I didn't get to speak to Michael except sometimes on the weekends because he was always on the phone with Emily (those tended to last for months at a time), I was walking down the stairs at school talking to Emily. She let it slip that Michael had been very depressed, was thinking he was worthless, and wanted to die. She said something along the lines of 'I'm starting to worry about him, y'know?'. I don't remember what I said. I think she went on to the band hall and I sort of slowed down or stopped where I was in the hallway.
Michael, depressed? I never saw him; I couldn't make any sort of guess as to how he was doing. But he was still the best friend I had, and to hear something like that... To not even have had a clue about how he was feeling and to know there was nothing I could do because he hadn't come to me and therefore probably wouldn't want to talk to me about it...
I wanted to cry. My best friend was apparently going through something extremely difficult, and I couldn't help him.
I watched him like a hawk every time I saw him after that. When I did get the chance to speak to him online, I paid extra-close attention to what he said and what he meant.
He seemed fine to me. But I was still so worried.
That just kept playing over and over in my head today and I don't know why. *mutter* Odd. Very odd.
In Other News, I figured out why it is that I've been losing weight. e.O according to Fitday.com, I've yet to consume more than 700 calories on any given day. My average is between 500 and 600, actually...
I could have sworn I eat more than that. e_e
on the other hand, I am meeting most nutritional requirements (mmm, vitamins) and I've lost another eight pounds. e_O so it's all good, I guess...