The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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My mom is throwing a party.
And as such, I'm rather tense. All day we've been hurrying about, cleaning and cooking and taking care of everything for the party - because my mom is not content with a get-together for her annual Christmas party for her dialysis unit. Noooo. This is an overly extravagant affair with enough food to feed a hundred people or more (there are MAYBE thirty here. e_e;; ohboy. Leftovers. Good thing they're yummy), our entire house already decorated for Christmas, and this year, a DJ. Yes, a DJ. No, I don't know what's wrong with her head.
I'm already getting irritated by the decorations. >_< As much as I love drawing ornate costumes and whatnot, I find minimal decorations to be most tasteful and pretty, as far as Christmas goes. My mom goes nuts, occasionally to the point where everything, cute or pretty though it might be on it's own, just looks tacky and all kinds of gaudy and wrong. Like our tree. I don't know how the hell we wound up with SO MANY decorations, but it's gotten to the point where they all simply will not fit on the poor shrub.

I told my mom that when I move out and get my own apartment, she's going to disown me bcause I'll have no decorations compared to her house. I think she thought I was joking...

I just don't understand the whole party thing. I'm comfortable with a very very few people one-on-one; but smiling and playing the same role I've always had gets more and more stressful each year.

I smile sweetly, nod to people politely as I say hello, shake hands and explain yes, I'm Robin's eldest, I'm Jenni, no, Nicole is the other one, yes we do look similar, don't we? Yes, I'm in high school, my senior year. Oh, so's your cousin/son/sister/nephew/granddaughter? How interesting! Which school?

I can do this approximately seven or eight times in one evening before I start to crack. I'm not good at small talk. I'm not comfortable around large groups of people; especially adults I don't know. Hell, I'm rarely comfortable in small groups of people who I do know.
So I hide. They don't miss me; they're here to see my parents so my dad can socialize for once without his beeper going off halfway into dinner and so my mom can relax and begin to show off her house and her pretty things and how much weight she's lost.

Yeah. I think I'll stay in here and work on stuff. Stay away from conversation. Still gotta get a lot of those drawings done... though the next page of ML is completely inked already. I may ink the page after it later tonight and color them both if I get bored.

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