I hate artist's block. I really really hate it.
... Apparently I gained half a pound. My Christmas Pants (every year I get pants for Christmas. ^.^) were a size smaller than I asked for. They fit. I'm currently wearing them and I am quite comfy. If I have my way, they will be falling off me in a few months. Give me time. *plots*
*sigh* Michael, if you could just bonk me over the head with a hammer a few times when next you see me, would be much appreciated. x_x I think too much and that's no good.
Heh. Michael and Tish are RP buddies. Cute. I haven't RPed in so very long. I guess I miss it... it was a lot of fun. I just... don't... anymore. Hmm.
I miss writing, but I have absolutely nothing to write about. I miss working on my stories. All of them. ML has become almost automatic. I hate how the art looks; I wish I'd picked a different style to use for the comic. I wish I could bring myself to spend more time on it; make it look better. But it gets to the point where I'm so disgusted with it that I have to get through it quickly or I'll trash the whole thing. And death threats from people at my school notwithstanding, I don't want to do that. I've heard all the arguments (I actually still read through the Keenspace mailing list, even the annoying and pointless flame wars. If nothing else, it is a lesson on human nature) for and against taking breaks, or stopping a comic altogether. "It's your comic, do it for you and everyone else be damned"; "You have a responsibility to your readers"; etc. etc.
One of the first things I did when I started ML was I tried my damndest to promise that I'd never just 'go on break' or drop the comic altogether. I know I completely missed one update at some point in August or September; that was when Keen was down for a bit. There have been one or two times where the page went up late (i.e. at some point on Monday) due to my own stupidity in HTML coding or file-naming/uploading, or just to Keenspace being slow to update.
But I have not gone 'eh, don't feel like it, no comic this week."
There have been weeks where, judging by the art quality, I probably should have. But I haven't. Because I hate it when online cartoonists do that. I hate the "I don't wanna" days, the "here, have some art instead" days, the "I got a friend of mine to do a strip" days...
I hate them because I completely understand them. I hate them because there have been entire months where I wish I could have said "I don't wanna, I don't hafta, I'm not gonna" to the whole damn comic - hell, to life in general. But I didn't. And I sure as hell don't intend to start now. Part of the reason I went ahead with ML was to test myself and see if it was even possible for me to work with some sort of deadline. Under normal circumstances, when art is concerned in the least, I loathe deadlines of any sort. I hate being told to schedule creativity. It's why I can never, ever work in any sort of art-related industry. I'd go mad and kill myself after a while. Or just get fired, depending entirely on whether or not my boss paid attention to what I was doing - or not doing - before I located something sharp or otherwise deadly.
If the statistics on my page and the numbers being reported by those vocal few on the KS mailing list, Makenzie's Locker is receiving about 10 times the average number of visits/whatnot found on a normal Keenspace page with roughly the same methods of advertising and all that jazz (sitelists, Livejournal, a forum here or there, and the occasional link from someone's page).
Using the number (which I have since forgotten) that Piro mentioned in a rant, I figured I get roughly 0.3% of the readership of Megatokyo. Once it hits one percent, I suppose I can die happy.
Meg of Eat the Roses said something about over 100K hits a month? Or perhaps over 100K in downloaded materials, or some such... Yeah, I do that. Been over 100K hits a month since October, when my audience inexplicably quadrupled. I never was able to figure out how that worked. Since then it's risen a bit more slowly and steadily; about 1000 more visits every month. I don't think I'll quite make that for December, but it's a slow month. People are doing the holiday gig; they've mostly got better things to do than check out online comics.
Um.. my point... I had one originally...
Oh yeah. I have enough readers that it might actually cause some sort of a ripple if I quit doing this. And that in and of itself is enough to make me keep doing it, even on the days when it's not fun at all.
I recently received a pretty big compliment in my e-mail inbox.
It was from Connell Wood, who draws Plufim Comics.
It was a Christmas card. Very cute. Quite sweet. He sent it to online comic people whose work he admired.
The mail was sent to Piro, Largo, Poe, Gabe, Tycho, myself, the guy who runs Homanga (good stuff there), and three people whom I could not identify from their e-mail addresses.
The image itself was a sweet gesture. The company he placed me in, however, was what made me feel quite special.
I ramble far too much.