Today, after finally managing to fall asleep around four, I woke up at 7:30.
I should've just stayed up all night.
In seven minutes I had pulled on a bra, shirt, and pants, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and ran like all hell out the door. I look and feel like total crap. Well, moreso than usual, anyway. Not MUCH more so, but enough to make me grumpy. I'm tempted to go home during lunch and take a shower (I HATE not showering. I don't smell or anything, I just don't like it. And my hair gets weird). I think I will.
I feel like I'm going to throw up. But I know I haven't eaten anything in the past 13 hours or so... so I just sort of sit there, moderately comforted by the fact that no matter how I feel, I won't really throw up. So it'll be okay.
My hands hurt from the cold outside. I can feel them again, they just hurt. >_< urgh. And while I'm bitching, my foot hurts. Something in my shoe has been rubbing my foot raw. Owwie. I can't get rid of it, either. Oh goodie.
I'm supposed to be typing up stuff for an HTML tutorial website I have to make. I will, eventually, but I don't wanna. I really feel like curling up (preferably in the band hall, since going home is not an option, and next to Alan, since he won't mind and Michael would) and going to sleep until I feel better and until everything in the world is normal/good.
Which means, of course, I'd never wake up.
I'm worried about my aunt. She found a spot on her breast. Biopsy today.
I'm worried about Tish. Just 'cause. I'm picking her up today and taking her somewhere, anywhere that's not her house. My family and I want to keep her out of there as much as humanly possible, but there's not much I can do at this point.
I'm worried about my mom. I'm not worried about abuelita anymore; she's not in pain. But my mom is really starting to wear from the stress.
Oh god. I didn't say goodbye to my abuelita before I left the house.