The stress of having to keep watch over my abuelita, basically waiting for her to die, making funeral arrangements, it's getting to her. She looks tired, and I don't blame her a bit. We're all tired, but because of how she is, she takes on more than she should. And it's wearing her down.
I am worried about my aunt, Claudina.
She recently found a 'spot', as my mom called it, on her breast. She had a biopsy yesterday. Results pending. I'm just glad my mother told me about this. I understand her desire to protect us, but she has a slight habit of keeping things from us.
I am worried about Tish.
I think of Tish sometimes as less a little sister than a daughter of sorts. I want to let her come live with us, take care of her, hell, keep her sane, and do what her family, apparently, cannot.
And so I will do what I always do when I get worried.
I will retreat
I will hide
I will not eat
I will not sleep
I will not smile