October 28th, 2001



went to see Blood: the Last Vampire and City of Lost Children with Kelsey and Evan. Muy spiffy films. MUY SPIFFY, I tell you.
Yesh, I am joyous and wriggly. My headache went away. :D

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oookay. gotta clean out this computer today - back up everything, double-check the backups I made when we switched most of our usage over to the other computer, and then we reformat this hard drive. *cracks knuckles*
also gotta wash the cars. wheeee...

and do the ML update. But these can wait until after I've showered...
I love how my mother no longer bothers to wake me in time for me to go to church on Sundays. :D

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someone said something to me on the bus ride to Spring (the contest we went to last Wed., I think) that I just remembered.

"You don't have a very high opinion of yourself, do you?"

No, no I don't. Many have searched for the source of my seemingly endless feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy (all right, not many. Maybe two. Or no one at all - I don't think they always tell me when they search. And who the hell is "they", anyway?) that dwell within my soul, and no one (to my knowledge, at least) has ever been able to discover exactly why I have such a low opinion of myself.
But fact is, I do. Listening to me talk for any extended period of time will more than likely result in several instances of referrals to my low intelligence and generally frightening appearance. :D I am my own worst critic. Average creative turnaround time (i.e. time it takes for me to go from somewhat liking a drawing/writing piece to absolutely hating it and wanting it to die a bloody, painful death) is about half an hour. Less if I'm wide awake. I can pick out flaws in my work so accurately that it never ceases to amaze me how crappy it is anyway. @_@ You'd think, with my mad skillz in detecting ickyness in the stuff I'd draw, that I'd eventually eliminate it. But nooooo...

And I think a large part of the reason I avoid most people is that I don't want to fuck up their lives. I seem to have a wonderful talent for being in the way and causing complications. It's what I'm good at. And so, to avoid making people's lives more miserable than they have to be, I figure it's just easier to avoid them. I'm also not too bright in most cases. Deep, intilelectual discussions? Nope, not with me. Just doesn't happen. It's been so long since I actually read anything. I used to read articles on mental illness and such for fun. Maybe I should start doing that again. I can hide in the library during lunch... yeeesss... that would be nice.

And don't get me started on personality and/or looks. Since by now I'm sure anyone who's still reading is annoyed by my bitching, I'll probably stop there. That and I have to go clean out my car.

And don't you people who actually bother to read this crap DARE post "you're-not-so-bad" messages. I will destroy you. Under most circumstances, I absolutely loathe sympathy directed towards me - even when a person is being sincere, it just sounds so fake.

mmmmmmm, comics..and other crap, too!

I love black and white work. It's so gorgeous.
Went to the comic store and fed my Strangers in Paradise addiction. Also picked up some JtHM and Blade of the Immortal. Mmmmmmmmmm, inkwork.
that reminds me to add to List of Comics to Collect Obsessively:
I picked it up at the store (not enough money to purchase... ;_; le sigh) but it looked gorgeous.
My mom is making me paint pumpkins (I think she's afraid to give me a knife, so I must paint. Ugh... crafts. @_@ they irritate me so sometimes), and I wanna do a Kabuki pumpkin. I'm also gonna do a goth pumpkin. Glee! ooh, and a punk pumpkin. :D with piercings. hehe.
What else... hmmmm...

I just signed ML up. Wheee! :D

http://www.pffft.net/ <-- hah! my favorite word. Pfft! ^_^
http://www.wfcomics.com <--- mmmmm...


:D I love Halloweed. It's the designer in me; I go nuts over costumes when given the option.
... so naturally, I've not dressed up in years and years. Nor have I been able to help with my siblings outfits. Go figure.

Made a punk pumpkin (a punkin? I dunno). Nicole stared at it for a moment, then went "Hey... can I have that?" hehe. It has rainbow hair. And paperclips for piercings. :D

My plans for Halloween this year:
Stay at home, hand out candy if I can be bothered to get up (chances are I'll just leave the bowl by the door and let the kids fight it out..), watch Rocky Horror Picture Show and the Crow...
mmmm, the Crow. *grin* There's my "the-undead-are-just-so-damned-sexy" fetish again. ^_~

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My crow pumpkin is the envy of all. I wasted a good fifteen minutes making him some beautiful black hair out of yarn. ^_^;

I'm skipping Adult Swim (wah!) to finish the ML update. I'll watch it as a rerun on Thursday. It will still be every bit as hilarious.

well, SHIT.

I can't update ML tonight.
My aunt and Uncle are staying with us. Fine, dandy, I can live with that (I want to strangle my aunt sometimes, but I can deal. 's no big problem. My worst complaint is that it means MORE PEOPLE...). They're staying in the room where my computer lives. I mean, where I live. Uh, yeah. That room. (game room, playroom, whatever you want to call it). I can deal with that, too. This computer here works allright if I don't push it too hard, now that I've worked my ass off cleaning up its innards. I can deal with that.
Now this computer decides that, for absolutely no reason, it does not have a disk or zip drive.

I scanned in the pictures for the next page of ML - I just have to color them and arrange 'em on the page, right?
Aunt and uncle are asleep. hell, I'm supposed to be asleep. (my family isn't aware of my strange sleeping habits...) And if I go in there to ix it, I'm in trouble.

;_; I HATE this...
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