November 8th, 2001


(no subject)

We're reading sonnets in English. mm, Shakespeare.
I love those sonnets. SO very pretty. Usally I hate poetry, but eh.
Love poems always make me feel bitter, though. (see previous post, titled Crushlink)

I feel ill. Just nauseous. And my stomach hurts. Head is kinda... blaaahhh... @_@

Direct quote from the example packet my Multi-media teacher handed out to us (I swear, these sound like they come from
- This is an example of how your lesson plans are suppose to exemplify
- The lesson plans will be for one week at a time; it will entail animation, shapes, colors, balance, and the like in designing your lesson plans.
- The timeliness of submitting your projects during the due date will help you manage your time

And I hear she used to be an English teacher. No wonder our education system is sucking so badly.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed

My noose came undone...

so sad. When I see Michael next I shall harrass him until he redoes it for me (or, more realistically, I'll ask him nicely and if he feels like it, he might retie it for me. I have the hardest time really trying to demand something from him.) I needed to keep something in the loop, when I fell asleep it fell prey to my Cleavage of Doom (I lose more necklaces.. really..) and undid itself.

I was accepted into U of H. My mom was happy - she was worried I wouldn't get in anywhere, I suspect. I was kind of wondering that, m'self. I think I mentioned that last year I royally fucked myself over, gradewise. I dunno what the hell was wrong with my head; I just didn't care. At all. About anything. For a lot of that year, I wanted to die. So I guess that's why the grades went down the tubes, leaving me with a class rank of about 352 out of 500. However, I've got no one to blame but myself, and since there's no way to change it now I might as well just deal with it and let life happen as it will.
Mom likes UT because it's a good school, and hopefully - she thinks - big enough for me to find someone to hang out with.
I like UT because it's a good school, and it's a big one in a big city. It's so easy to lose yourself in big places like that, where you don't have to have a deeper intimacy in any relationship than "excuse me" or a slight nod of the head to people you see only every now and then; where there's always someplace to wander off to, some way to distract yourself that doesn't require a gang of friends. If they accept me, I'll go. I'll know several other people (at least two Michaels, and numerous people from my current school) but odds are I'll never see them. I intend to be either in class, in the library studying, in my dorm, or, if my roommate is annoying or always present, I shall locate a coffee house or bookstore where I can hide. I thought I just didn't enjoy social situations with the people I was around all the time. Turns out I just don't enjoy social situations, period. Exceptions to that are extremely few to the point of being practically nonexistant.

I think I almost yelled at poor Nicole when she asked me to take her to another concert. RX Bandits are plaing in Houston on my mother's birthday - Nicole assumed she couldn't go. Turns out my mom will be out of town, and she gave Nicole permission to go after all. Much to her dismay, I said there was no way in hell I would be taking her to a concert, regardless of who it was, when it was, or where it was. She was quite unhappy. One of her friends will probably be able to take her, though. So everyone's happy. Sort of. Close enough.

Got the character sketches done for all the main characters of ML. Had fun with body types. Mak is curvy, not really fat, but definitely not a twig. Karen is a twig, I actually based her body shape on one of our teensy little flute freshman chickys. Matt is based loosely on a couple of guys I know, and he's scrawny but oh-so-cute. Jared is a loose combination of two or three other guys, he's not nearly so scrawny as Matt, a lot mroe muscle-y, and he's got a bit of a tummy. ^.^ so cute.
Someone sent me an email... *L* Referring to Matt, and I quote:

"He's just a.....a.....a SEXY BITCH!"

*cackle* yes. yes he is.


Unless my mother's scale is lying to me (and it just might be), I've lost three pounds in the last week or so.
subtracting the weight of my jacket and shoes, it's probably closer to five or six.
bah. *sits there like a lump*
  • Current Mood

The phone

I hate the phone.
And not with that vague hatred we usually reserve for inanimate objects that we know good and well won't hate us back; not that slight irritation with the television because it never shuts off unless you hit the 'power' button really hard; not that disgruntled look you give the computer because it chooses to freeze every now and then right before you get to a point where you can save your work; not even that grumbling resentment you feel towards the alarm clock when it dares to ruin your sleep.
No, I hate the phone. With a passion. I hate it's ring, I hate it's beeping, it's dial tones, and I hate - HATE - talking to someone over it. I twitch and hiss when it rings (which it does a lot; my sister lives on it) and I refuse to answer it. I get this look of utter pain when I hear "it's for you" and my sister or mother hands me that cursed black plastic monstrosity. I hate how people sound weird over the line, how you can never see their face or tell what they're doing. I hate those inevitable times of silence when I have absolutely nothing to say - and I usually have nothing to say, once the 'hello's and 'how're you's are over. I hate that I cannot bring myself to do something else while I'm on the phone because it distracts me from the person who took time out of their day to call me, thus obligating me to listen and pay attention to them until my father comes in and says he needs the line because he's on call, or until my mother needs me to go do something for her, because I'm ever bit as terrible at finding ways to end conversations as I am at every other aspect of communication.

My only use for the phone line is for connection to the internet, which is much much nicer. Real life doesn't have a 'block' option. I have so many chat programs... MSN, ICQ, AIM, mIRC... They're all either closed or I'm 'away' or 'invisible'. I like it better like that. I can see who is online, and if I don't particularly feel like communicating with anyone or even allowing potential communication, I switch to 'away' and I am allowed to piddle around on the internet without disruption.
I hate the phone.

(no subject)

of course, right after I do the phone rant, Kelsey calls and invites me to go to RenFair next weekend.
Since I've never been (Every time I say that, people give me these incredulous looks and say "YOU'VE never been?!?!") and my mom is starting to make me run errands in an effort to make me leave the house for things not involving school, methinks I'll go. Might be fun.
Pity I haven't any semblance of a costume, though. I've got some lovely designs, but they would take so long to make. And I probbaly wouldn't look very good in them anyway...

More and more random people link to ML... which is good...
and they all seem to want to spell it "Mackenzie's Locker". -_-;; which is slightly aggravating...
*changes the title of the main ML page to "Makenzie: Without a 'c'! :D" and hopes people will get the hint...*


Those Xbox commercials frighten me.

01. I hurt: Physically? not too easily. Emotionally? way too easily.
02. I love: Too much.
03. I hate: right now, people.
04. I cry: Never, if I can help it.
05. I fear: I dunno, anymore.
06. I hope: I dunno
07. I sadden: Too easily.
08. I feel alone: All the time.
09. I kill: Nothing. Yet.
10. I talk: Too much, mostly to myself.
11. I listen: Alot.
12. I break: down easily.
13. I see: badly. I cannot function without my glasses.
14. I smell: like that shampoo I use.
15. I taste: good, apparently.
16. I work: when required to do so.
17. I remember: not much. I remember I have some English homework I should be doing.
18. I hold: the kitty... now a pencil.
19. I hide: from everything whenever possible.
20. I pray: not at all, anymore.
21. I walk: not as much as I used to. I wanted to go for a walk today when I woke up, but it was already dark.
22. I drive: a lot. Usually with others in the car.
23. I read: not near as much as I used to. I rather miss it.
24. I burn: nothing, really. I imagine my hair would burn pretty well. The rest of me is mostly water.
25. I breathe: continually. Someday I'll stop.
26. I play: not often
27. I miss: I dunno.
28. I touch: nothing.
29. I learn: slowly.
30. I feel: Lonely.
31. I know: nothing
32. I said: All the wrong things. I'm good at that.
33. I dream: I always die in my dreams.
34. I have: Myself.
35. I want: I don't know.
36. I fall: often. No sense of balance.
37. I wait: sometimes patiently, sometimes I fidget.
38. I need: a work ethic.
39. I live: reluctatnly
40. I am: tired. Not sleepy, just... tired.

shamelessly stolen from elcarpeto...

1. First name: Jennifer
2. Middle name: Alice (no one ever suspects me of being an Alice)
3. Last name: Bravo
4. Nickname(s): Jenni, Jen, Jen-NEE-fer (dad's accent)
5. Screen names: Jenni the Odd, Gundam Bravo
6. Gender: female
7. Age: 17
8. Type of Music: all kinds I like to sing along.
9. Birthdate: May 24th, 1984
10. Birthplace: Houston, Texas.
11. Zodiac sign: Gemini
12. Current location: Houston, Texas
13. Live with: parents, three younger siblings, my abuelita, a cat, and a hamster.
14. Name of current school: Hell. Um, I mean, MHS. Yeah.
15. Grade/Year(if in college): Senior in High School.
16. Graduation date/year: 2002 if all goes as planned. My last day of school is my 18th birthday.
17. GPA: Low. I suck.
18. Height: 5'10'' or so.
19. Hair color: dark brown, contains every natural hair color possible (mostly reddish tints in the right light, black if I'm out in the sun too much)
20. Highlights/dyed: never.
21. Hair length: long. Over 3 feet.
22. Eye color: brown
23. Contacts/glasses: glasses. Can't see without 'em.
24. Freckles: none
25. Birthmark(s): a few. *points*
26. Scar(s): a few on my knees from when I was younger, a few on my arms from last year.
27. Type(s) of clothes you wear: Um, I dunno. Gothicky, I guess.
28. Cologne/Perfume you wear: I don't really wear perfume.
29. Deodorant you use: whatever I happen to have around.

Family Life

30. Mom's name: Robin
31. Dad's name: Cesar
33. Closest family member: I guess my sister.
34. Family member you could live without: if necessary, all of them.
35. Last family member you've seen: My brother just went to bed.
36. Oldest: Probably my abuelita - she's 83, I believe.
37. Youngest: My youngest sister, Emma. Or I suppose my cousin Alex in England, he's about two.
38. Family member who lives the farthest away: I don't know which is further - Peru or Germany.
39. Fondest memory: those ridiculous plays my siblings and I used to write and perform.
40. Memory you miss the most: I don't really remember. Before Nicole became such a punk and Gabriel was a jerk.
41. Family member you wish the mafia would kill: none of 'em.
42. Memory you wish you had: I dunno.
43. What you did yesterday: I think we strayed from the 'family' topic. Uh, went to school. Went home. Yeah.
44. What you did so far today: went to school. Came home.
45. Last person you talked to on the phone: Kelsey (she's the only one who ever calls. I hate the phone. See previous rant)
46. Last person you talked to online: KK.
47. Last movie you've seen: Nicole was watching Clerks in here earlier. I sorta listened to some parts of it.
48. Last song you heard on the radio: Linkin Park's "Crawling". I deem that my theme song.
49. Last CD you played: Savage Garden
50. Last thing you said out loud: "Gabriel, get the fucking kitty off my - OW! - head"
51. Last time you showered: this morning
52. Last book you read: I don't remember. How sad.
54. Last time you sang: today. I love to sing.
55. Last time you danced: I took ballet when I was about four. Since then, never if I could help it.
56. Last thing you ate/drank: ate? I think I ate some lunch a few days ago. Drank? some Dr. Pepper for lunch today.

Believe it or Not

57. Aliens: Sort of.
58. Angels: I'd like to
59. Demons: see above
60. Heaven & Hell: see above
61. God: see above
62. Your friends: I believe that the people I would define as friends could possibly exist.


64. Best friend: Uh... Michael, I guess.
65. Last friend: wha? 'last' friend? I dunno. Maybe Emily. it's to the point where I try to avoid she and Liz.
66. Funniest: Depends.
67. Silliest: Again, depends. You've not seen silly until you've seen David or Alan on band crack.
68. Loudest: Emily when she screams. Damn, she's always sick, but at the very least, we know her lungs are in working order.
70. Stupidest: most of them have, at some point or another, qualified for this title.
71. Sweetest: Michael. And Alan. and KK. KK's strange, but he's such a sweetheart.
72. Weirdest: Michael. Definitely Michael. Yeeeah.
73. Best at keeping secrets: I dunno. I don't have any secrets.
74. Most hyper: Alan on Crack. (not necessarily the drug. Just when he's extremely awake)
75. Most annoying: I try to avoid annoying people.
76. Friend you miss: Kara. Sort of. She was my best friend, but even then we weren't really that close.
77. Friend you've known the longest: Michael and Chad...
78. Friend you haven't known long: Kelsey

Word Association

79. Bill Clinton: SNL
80. Lollipops: the table (there's a few sitting on the table by my purse)
81. Whipped Cream: strawberries
82. Dreams: sleepless nights, just lying in bed thinking; being so tired and still unable to sleep
83. Love: tears, bitterness.
84. South Park: 8th grade
85. Guys: the guys in band
86. Girls: Emily and Liz. And a wrinkling of the nose accompanies this word, as well. My gender sucks.
87. Death: emptiness
88. Bubble gum: pink. Now, dental gum, that stuff is good.
89. Water: home
90. Ice Cream: that time Nicole and I kidnapped Chase and Eric and took them out for ice cream.
91. Oil: cars
92. Phone: *hiss*
93. Food: trying to remember the last time I ate. *shrug* eh.
94, Kiss: thinking how I've never been kissed, probably never will be
95. Pretzels: crunchy.
96. Britney Spears: annoying
97. School: do I gotta?
98. Floppy: the fact that our disk drive functions again
99. Shoes: my boots

Have you ever (FYI answer yes or no)

100. Been on a plane: yes
101. Cried in public: I think. A long, long time ago.
102. Climbed a tree: yes
103. Gotten in a physical fight: yes
104. Drank alcohol: yes
105. Fell asleep in a movie theater: yes
106. Driven a car: yes
107. Been arrested: no
108. Broken curfew: yes, but I called in beforehand. I dunno if that counts.
109. Been pulled over when driving: no
110. Farted in public: probably.
111. Met a celebrity: no
112. Skipped school: not really. I've faked being sick a few times.
113. Went to a pro sports game: yes
114. Met the president: no
115. Been scared to get shot: no
116. Smoke a cigarette: no
117. Gotten a cavity: yes
118. Done any drugs: no
119. Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch: no. God no.
120. Gone skinny-dipping: no, for the sake of others.


121. Food: I dunno. It's food. *shrug*
122. Drink: ginger ale, lately/
123. TV show: Invader Zim, Home Movies, the Brak Show, Cowboy Bebop
124. Movie: the Crow, Vampire Hunter D, Dogma, Fight Club
125. CD: I dunno.
126. Song: too many to list.
127. Color: black, blue, silver
128. Day of the week: Froopsday.
129. Month: December-February. I love winter.
130. Number: everyone loves 69... really, I don't have a favorite number.
132. Favorite Car: Michael's car is warm and comfy. I like mine when there's no one else in it.
133. Cookie: oatmeal raisin. Mmm. raisin-y goodness.
134. Toothpaste: whatever happens to be there.
135. Ice Cream: peppermint. Or cinnamon. Mmm.
137. Candy bar: don't have one.
138. TV channel: don't watch too much TV...
139. Radio station: I rarely listen to the radio anymore. My sister controls the music.
140. Artist/band: too many to list.
141. Shampoo/conditioner: cheap-o stuff from Walgreens.
143. Website: I rather like ML now. There's oh-so-many good sites out there I love though.
144. Sports to play: I dunno.
145. Sports to watch: none
146. Place: my mind, curled up in a corner
147. Vacation spot: Colorado. Somewhere empty.
148. Kind of candle: doesn't matter.
149. Color eyes: not too picky. Eyes that change color fascinate me. I've been known to stare people down because they have cool eyes.

I told you, when I get bored, I take surveys.