December 16th, 2001


(no subject)

I just read through an old ICQ log...
started out when I first got ICQ, lead up to some point in my sophomore year.

Wow. So much has happened. this was back when Michael was first acknowledging his feelings for Emily... back when I had given up on us ever being more than friends (I tried so hard to give up on the thought - I've had a crush of sorts on him as long as I've known him) and I even had a boyfriend of sorts, online... I read through it and I can see where the guy - his name is Dan - and I sort of drifted apart... and where I started to really fall hard for Michael... I can tell where the things he said started to sting because I loved him and I couldn't do anything to help him with the person he loved... I see all the things he said about Emily back at the beginning, back when we still spoke a lot. After a while, he and Emily got so close they were always talking - so I'd not speak to him for weeks at a time simply because he wasn't available. Now he's online a lot more... though I think they're talking on the phone a bit again. The cycle continues, I guess.

That was a trip down memory lane I could have done without. Painful.
  • Current Mood
    drained drained

(no subject)


I don't feel like drawing anything. At all. Ever.
But I need to do the update.
And I need to have it done by tomorrow evening. My aunt and uncle are here, and they sleep in the room that has the computer. Another four days or so and another aunt and uncle will be here - they will sleep in my room. I have no idea where I will sleep.

This has not been a good weekend thus far, mentally.


Trying to think how pissed my mom would be if I just didn't show up at church. I've got a good twenty minutes before I need to be there, and I've got to decide if it's worth it.
I don't particularly enjoy going anymore. Anyone ever seen Dogma? The line where Bethany says:
"I can remember going to church when I was younger and being moved. Now, I go... and nothing."
Or something to that effect, I've not seen the movie in months.
That's it, right there.

I don't particularly want to go. I know Tish probably doesn't, either. I wonder if I could just kidnap her next week and go out for coffee or something. I used to do that on Sundays back when I had a job. I needed to be there at 11:50, and it took just a few minutes too long to get to TAS from our church - so I went to a different church that had an earlier service and was closer. Then I'd hang around Starbucks till 11:20 or so, then go to work. But anyone who lives in Houston can probably agree - Second Baptist (the church I went to) is just a little frightening. More so when you're in there. Those people disturbed me more than you could know.
It was rather amusing to debate things with them - I came in dressed in my usual all black-ness, clutching a sketchbook like my security blanket; they all assumed I knew very little about religion. On the contrary, I was raised almost literally in a church. My grandparents work as the janitors at the church I attend - they live right next door to it. My mother is quite religious. I actually went to Second Baptist's school until fourth grade. I could quote bible verses from memory with no problem; I knew my lessons well enough to teach classes. I'd never heard a song that wasn't a hymn or praise song until I was about 11. My mom admits she was pretty much brainwashing me... But I do know enough theology to hold my own in an argument. I want to take some classes in comparative religions; learn more about stuff besides Christianity. I suppose there will be time enough for that later.

Maybe I could say I'm sick. I made some chocolate milk (yes, I am secretly three years old. Nyaaah... you're just jealous 'cause you want some, too) with some syrup we had in the fridge... then my sister and I discovered the expiration date on the syrup was sometime this past May. e.O So far no side effects, but if I start throwing up, that might convince her...

Well, now I have to decide whether or not to go. I guess I will - I'll just bring a sketchbook and work on ML or something. Maybe Michael's present. I need to work on Mike's, too...
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

(no subject)

there's a spinach salad sitting in the fridge that I made and then did not want. @_@

I shall eat it later.
mmm, spinach.

My toes are silver. I hadn't painted my nails in so long. They're shiny. Yeah.

Actually got some drawings for the ML update done... might only be one page this week, but there will be something. This I swear.

(no subject)

My mom insisted that I needed new underwear. e_e;; lovely.
So, working off of Kelsey's theory, that you feel better and sexier when you have nice stuff on, I got some pretty underwear. I shall test that theory tomorrow.
For now, I must finish the update. One page thus far. I don't feel like inking and coloring two pages. I'm just kinda drained. Be sustained by the fanart updates, ne? Two! Two pieces of fanart!

I need to work on AWFW. And SA. And sooner or later I need to get back to work on CG3. I started re-working it and it kinda died. 'S just weird because technically it's Michael's as well and so I don't feel like I should go too far forward with anything without consulting him first. I'm not complaining - we tend to work well together - but it's why I usually work alone. Unhindered creativity. On the plus side, having him means I get an editor, which is helpful.

*piddles around with the update*
  • Current Music
    Sugarcult - Hate Every Beautiful Day

(no subject)

wow, I finished the update before midnight. That's happened maybe once before...
mebbe 'cause it's only one page.

*dodges bricks*
Shaddup. I don't feel like doing two pages right now. Artist's block sucks gargantuan quantities of ass.
I plan on updating random crap throughout the week as well as three pages next week to make up for it. There wouldn't even be one page this week were it not for the fact that my small but disturbingly dedicated fanbase at school has threatened to hunt me down and destroy me if they don't get their weekly dose of Mak. And to tell you the truth; they frighten me.

So yeah. page 27 will be up eventually. Don't bother clicking the link yet.
As you all know, there is also new fan art from wonderful, wonderful people.