January 10th, 2002


(no subject)

I feel so out of it. Like my world is blurry. And the sound is all full of static; it's too fuzzy to really make out. Oddly enough, I know I can see and hear just fine, it's as if I'd just rather not.

I finally gave up on getting Nicole out of my room (she'd taken up residence in my bed. She always liked my bed better than her own. Every bed seems much the same as any other to me) and had turned out the lights and was going downstairs when she evacuated to her own room. So I lay down and stared at the ceiling for a while. Between about 2 and 5, I dozed on and off. At 5 I woke up because I'd slept with my knee in a horrible position, and it was painful to move. After stretching it out a bit, I slept for an hour or so before getting up for school.

So that makes... 7, 8 hours of sleep in the past three or four days? bah. My eyes hurt.
Tish is going back to my grandmother's house today, which will give me another couple of chances to "feed her 'til she pops", as I always tell her. I'll also get to meed her friend Zach. Since that means there would no longer be enough seatbelts in my car (with Tish, Drew, Greg, John, Zach, and myself, we'd be one short), the Trippy Trio will just ride the bus. They'll live.
I think I'll stop by the bank during lunch. I got $40 from some relatives for Christmas and I need to put it in my account. I don't think I'll spend it. I wonder if I could get a job soon. It sounds so horrible, but really the only reason I didn't have a job this school year was my abuelita. My mom wanted me to always be available in case something happened. (We've been waiting for 'something to happen' for about two years now.) I could apply at Texas Art Supply again, but maybe I should look around and see if anywhere else I'd really like to work is hiring. Despite my normal atitude, I tend to work best with customers. I'm a damned good actress when I need to be. I also make a good cashier. Guess I'll look around a bit.
I'm not going to anime club. I just don't want to socialize much. I think I'll go home and tell my mom I have a headache, make her give me something that'll knock me out for a few hours.

I need to find and look through that old hymnal I have. When our church decided to purchase new ones, I got one of the older ones. My mom wants me to pick out some songs for the funeral.

(no subject)

Oh. I guess Tish isn't going to my grandmother's house... I don't know how this will affect things.
Tish, call me at about 1:20 or so again if you can manage it, I'm not sure what the plan is, now.

(no subject)

Hour 60. Whee.

Just took a quiz in Multi-media. What a worthless class this is most of the time.
I'm bored. It's sad when you have access to the entire internet and you're still bored. It's just not that interesting.
I think I'll try to draw something.
Well that failed.
Hutch, the resident really really annoying person in this class, is doing his job damned well. I want to shoot him.
Well, not really. Shooting someone would be terribly unsatisfying. I'd want to tear at them, strangle them, feel them struggle and falter and fade.

Perhaps I just need sleep.

Hour 63 or so.

Despite artist's block so intense it borders on actual physical pain, I somehow drew a picture of Moren, in his new uniform ('new' in the sense that I redesigned Lotoae Chronicles to be set in a Mayan/Incan-type world instead of the stereotypical medieval fantasy one). This means I'll get to have fun with bright colors (since Mak, like me, has a habit of wearing mostly black, I thought it might be a refreshing change) and patterns and a thousand details that will drive me absolutely batty. I will also get to color darker-skinned people, which is always fun. There aren't enough darker-skinned people in comics, I say.
I may ink and color the sketch. If so, I'll post it later.

I really don't feel like working. There's a lot of stuff I need to do. For instance, I still owe Michael and Mike Christmas presents that, since Christmas is long past, will now just be plain old 'presents'. At this rate, by the time I manage to get them done and delivered, it may well be Christmas again. I also need to work on ML. It's been neglected. Poor baby. I just haven't felt like drawing. I don't have the energy or the will to draw.
  • Current Music
    none, but I have Shakira's "Underneath Your Clothes" running through my head. I like her voice. Sounds better with Spanish words, though. Spanish tends to be a lower-toned language than English - so her voice gets higher and more nasal in the English song

(no subject)

Tish was mocking my Cleavage of Doom.
Someday I'll put up a picture of my Cleavage of Doom.
I can hear you quaking already.

Something that has annoyed me all day...

If you read whichever rant(s) it was, you know I loathe sympathy from most people. I absolutely cannot stand it. Perhaps it's the underlying cynic in me telling me that no one really means it, it's just an automatic reaction. And if they do mean it, god help me, I've no idea what the hell to do with them.
Many people asked me, then kept asking me, if I was okay. I responded in "mhrrmm"s and "ehh"s.
Then they said they were sorry.
Please don't tell me you're sorry. I don't know what to do with someone who is apologizing to me, especially for something they have/had absolutely no control over. Apologizing for apologizing will do nothing but make me angry with you.
If you absolutely MUST know how I'm doing, talk to me for about thirty-two seconds. If I respond in monosyllables or facial expressions, or not at all, it means I am probably in a dismal mood and do not wish to speak with you. I do not hate you, in fact odds are I like you. Possibly a lot. I just don't want to have a conversation with you at the moment. Try again the next day. If my mood is merely antisocial, I will tell you as much and then scoot far, far away from you. If I respond in a positive manner (i.e., actual words that don't include the phrase: "I'm not in a very social mood right now"), talk away about anything you damned well please. I'll offer commentary when/if I see fit.
I tend to be more relaxed about this online. I feel rude closing a chat window unless the other person has been silent for at least twenty minutes (I often chat with very easily distracted people who will sometimes forget they were talking to me and will vanish for a bit every now and then). but again, the monosyllable rule generally applies. If you're not getting more than one or two words out of me, odds are I don't really want to chat, and I'm pondering signing off and returning on a screen name no one knows, or just logging off entirely.
Trust me, if I see fit for you to know, I will let you know how I am doing.

*sigh* as always, exceptions to this are Michael and... probably Tish, most of the time. Though I hate sympathy from anyone, I will do nothing but twitch a bit and possibly seethe quietly if they offer it.

For the record, my family really sucks at relaying phone messages...

So if you call and leave a message for me with someone, assume I will never hear it. Or that if I do, it will be hours or even days too late, whenever they happen to remember.
I can't tell you how often I've gotten in trouble because the sibling I left a message with didn't bother to tell my mother where I was going.
Tish called half an hour ago, apparently. No one told me. Grr. But my mom says she found another ride. So it's okay.
I dozed on and off for about two hours. I'm still exhausted. And still not sleepy.
  • Current Mood
    slightly annoyed.