February 5th, 2002


(no subject)

Greg keeps bugging me about not updating the comic.
Sorry, Greg, even if I had access to a scanner for more than five minutes a day, and even if I had a computer that wouldn't start smoking with the number of layers and open windows coloring the damned thing would require, I still have no desire to update it.
Kinda working on that whole 'will to live' thing... not to mention trying to be sociable. Trying to remind myself that humans do require food or nutrition of some sort to survive. Trying to stand upright and walk in a decently straight line without falling over. Trying not to sleep right through class. And, of course, trying to get rid of this apathy that seems to have imbedded itself in my brain. Hrm. Good thing I already finished my college applications, otherwise looks like I wouldn't be going anywhere.
I swing between two extremes - I either sleep constantly or not at all. At the moment, we are in a 'constantly' period.
There is a concert tonight.
I did not get my dress altered. Damn. I hope it doesn't fall off. No one wants to see that. *shudder*
Maybe one of the smaller dresses will fit me. I'll try one on today during band. Warren probably won't let me go, though. Hrm. Guess I'll just safety-pin the dress to my bra or something to keep it up.
I have to rehearse with Robert and Nicole for our ensamble after school. Whee. It's incredibly easy. Shouldn't be a problem. Then I have to go home and obtain dressage. And then back to school for the concert. It's always raining when we have to wear those god-forsaken velvet monstrosities they call dresses.

But I like this weather. I only wish it were raining harder. Mm, thunderstorm.
I just realized I haven't checked my emails in weeks. My inboxes are probably exploding.
I think I'll take a nap in my car during lunch. And in my desk during homeroom. And at any other point when I can get away with it.

(no subject)

I'm not very graceful when I'm dizzy. Tripped. Fell. My right knee hurts again - and geez, what am I, seven? It's a bit skinned. Damn it all, this knee will never be well again. >_<
And while I'm at it, damn Nicole and her olives. I just ate about four.
Confound it, LiveJournal, give me back my rant. I wrote something at the Career Center and it vanished.
Eh. Was nothing important. Me whining about not feeling well.
Oh - and that the people at Einstein Bros. Bagels are wonderful. Everyone go buy bagels from them (for they are tasty, too. And cheap, at about $0.65 for a very large bagel!). They're printing me a copy of the nutritional information on their bagels. Now I can feel appropriately guilty when I consume them (never mind that since I chop them up into little pieces and freeze them, it takes me two weeks to eat one). My obsessive-compulsive calorie counting has just been made that much easier.
My band dress might just fall off. Damnit. I've lost about twenty-five pounds since I wore it last. I'll pin it to my bra or something. Dress falling off during concert=BAD. I will wear stripey stockings under it, though, since no one will see and I want to. It's my senior year and I want to be silly.
Hrm. I was going to walk before the concert, but my knee hurts.
I think I'll just paint my nails. The black is half chipped off. My mother will have a fit if I perform like that.
Ooookay, figured out what happened to the other post - it was somehow posted in gothic_anime.
Whoop. And I can't seem to go delete it. Would someone in the gothic_anime community be sweet enough to delete that last off-topic post I made (not the picture! Not the picture!) and then bash me over the head repeatedly with the flat of a sword? Thankee.
Here 'tis, edited for the sake of redundancy.

I am cold. People keep walking in and out of the room, leaving the door open. It's about 40 degrees outside.
Last concert I wore fishnet under my dress. This concert shall have stripey stockings.
Since the damned thing hits the floor, no one will see.Ha. Haha. Yeah.
I spent Multimedia designing a flash movie that is making my classmates hate me with a passion. Same assignment as before - ant, picnic, whatnot.
I have a cute little landscape (drawn in Photoshop), a cute little anthill (with little ants crawling everywhere) and then Bob will swoop in and devour them all in a mighty gulp.
My neck hurts and I am sleepy, still.
I slept through homeroom. Sat like a zombie in my car, pondering my spicy V8 during lunch.
Wound up not drinking the V8. I feel sick. Not sure if its' from being hungry or from being sick. I'm not shaking, so it would appear to be generic illness of some sort.
If Nicole made me ill, I will first kill her, then I will kill her ex-boyfriend. (he made her sick. *cue laugh track*)
I go practice/find dress/figure out some creative safety pinning method that will keep the dress ON me/play/SLEEP now. Yeah.

I felt lumpish. I still do. I shall go be a lump now.
  • Current Music
    none. was Blind Melon's 'no rain'.

Now for my usual post-concert rant

... As I sit here in my pajamas.
Concert. I hate our band. Not the symphonic band, they're pretty good most of the time. But our band sucks arse. It's made up of freshmen, some of whom can play (Nicole), some of whom can't ( - insert random shitty-playing freshman here-) and the upperclassmen who suck too much to be in Symphonic (me). Oh well.
Emily, as per usual, came in a bathrobe and something that should not be worn in public (some sort of teddy/slip thing), and dressed and undressed in the middle of the band hall. Eh.
She's so pretty. Damn, I really wish I could look like her. (Just... not.. act... like... her...) She really is effing gorgeous.
My dress nearly fell off a few times. No amount of pinning could change that. And boobs suck - I was unable to wear a smaller dress due to mine. Rrgh.
I did get to see Michael in a tux, though. I'd almost forgotten how handsome he is. (insert sappy music here) Shaddup. It's annnoying. It almost angers me that I still love him this much after so frikkin' long, knowing full well he will never feel the same. I wish to god love responded to logic so I could just tell myself 'it won't happen' and it would go away. But it doesn't. So I can't. Hrm.
I am tired. Very much so. And quite cold - I lay on the couch for an hour waiting for these fifteen minutes of computer time. (Nicole, apparently, MUST have the computer all night. This is all I get.) Eh. Not like I'd do anything productive or even talk to people if I did have the computer... So since I cannot do anything else, I think I shall sleep now.
  • Current Music
    I miss music...