February 14th, 2002


(no subject)

I am only staying awake to finish Michael's card.
Yes, I am drawing him a card.
yes, me, Miss "I-Loathe-Valentine's".
Shut up.

I will probably not see him tomorrow, though. Maybe I can stop by his house after school to drop it off or something. Hrm. *shrug*
In all likelihood I won't even finish it tonight. I haven't a clue what to draw on it.

(no subject)

I have finished the sketch, surprisingly enough. I shall ink and color tomorrow. The light bulbs in here are close to burning out and we've no replacements. So I shall go to bed before the light gets so bad it really starts to hurt my eyes.

(no subject)

... if I ever attempt to draw flowers again...

Yes, flowers. Stop looking at me like that. They're roses. With lots 'o thorny goodness. (sometimes it's so convinient that Michael goes weeks without checking LJ, it allows me to post random stuff like this without him knowing)
Aww. I got valentines from Lynn, who is the physical model for Karen - TINY girl. She's cute and pink and... fluffy. You know the voice of Britney, from Daria? She sounds like that half the time. If she weren't so damn sweet she'd be really scary. Also got one from Shannon, who is also disturbingly nice to EVERYONE (and is the model for the female drum major in ML). I think I've only seen her down once - after our 2 at UIL. She and Lynn gave Valentines to most of the band, or tried to, I think. o.o yipes.

Blah blah blahhh...

Alan's valentine of sorts: some camoflauge duct tape on my hand.
I feel special. And hidden. e.O

Our school delivered those damned carnations. People are walking around unable to see for holding so many shrubs. Turns out Nicole bought me two, with very silly messages. Since I did not tell her how much I dislike flowers from most people and how I am just NOT USED to receiving them (I think I got one carnation at some point in middle school from a girl who gave almsot everyone she knew a flower...) and dislike the whole idea, I am not angry with her. I just wish she'd NOT given me the flowers. I cannot explain it. I suppose I would much rather not be acknowledged at all on Valentine's. It makes everything so much easier. As often as I might whine 'oh, I'm all alone, wah wah wah', I seriously cannot stand attention like that in public. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. I'm not accustomed to it and past experience leads me to tend to think anything even remotely showy must be the other person making fun of me while their friends laugh somewhere unseen. Let this be a note to anyone stupid enough to date Jenni - I appreciate and to an extent thrive upon displays of affection in private. I do not ask for constant hand-holding, hugs, kisses, etc. in public. I will happily settle for my significant other doing something as simple as standing beside me. Beggars can't be choosers, y'know.

Nicole has the flowers now - she also got three or so of her own from different people, not sure who. I bought no flowers since I'm not here during lunch, and I figure Michael wouldn't really appreciate receiving shrubbery anyway. He has never indicated that he would, at any rate. Displays of affection from me tend to be met with the "deer in the headlights" look, rapidly followed by "run away!".
I finished inking the card (damn those roses. Only for Michael would I waste THAT MUCH time on shrubbery) but I will have to finish coloring it (watercolor pencils + computers = baaad things) during lunch or something. I shall scan at career center, which means I might be a bit late, Tish - also, my mom needs me to come straight home and do something-or-other, so you gotta go home too.

Must go get mommy-present. I have a few good ideas; it should take minimal time and still leave me enough to work on the card.

I have a hole in my stripey-socks. It's over my big toe on my left foot.
It is simultaneously amusing and irritating the hell out of me. *wiggles toes*
  • Current Music
    chatter of my Multi-Media class

well, poop.

Came home, was told to deliver Valentine's presents to our neighbor (adopted Grandma of sorts. ^.^ She's such as sweetheart) and my grandmother. No problem. I could do Michael's card afterwards.
Forgot that visiting them always means talking for at least forty-five minutes. ^_^;; so by the time I got home it was seven. Okay. Finished it an hour later (watercolor pencils take twice as long as normal colored pencils - first the color, then the moistening. Then the color, then the moistening. Le sigh), called Michael to see if I could take it over to him real quick. He's about to shower. He, like me, has this habit of taking ridiculously long showers. (At least I sort of have an excuse - my hair takes at least 20 minutes to thoroughly wash!)
So I shall give it to him tomorrow after school. Grr. It grates on me when the gifts or cards I give for any set occasion (birthdays, holidays) are late.
*gnaws on arm because DAMN if watercolor pencils don't taste nasty as all hell*


Yeeesss... my Precioussss...
My computer is back from the shop. I was gonna wait until tomorrow to set it up with my dad, but (cue the scary music) I'm gonna go ahead and see if I can do it now. I'm hopefully not too stupid to be able to try without causing irreparable damage.

My computer! *big shiny eyes* TABLET! SCANNER!
You know what this means?
This means I gotta ink all the ML sketches. Meep. O.O
This means I can have MUSIC again!
  • Current Music
    My little happy dance. (the revolver dance, if you wish, Tish)

And one last thing...

Why Nicole (my 14 year-old sister), as much as I might complain about her in moments of crankiness, R0xx0rs mah b0xx0rs. (If I had them. Which I don't. But you know what I mean)

[Her valentine to me, written in Notepad, which is how we exchange messages when we switch who has control of the comp]
oh yes, your valentine. This is a painful matter, and i will try to move past it with as LITTLE death as possible.(...? i dont know. drugs.) I have decided to type it to make it as impersonal as possible (i know how you dont like humans much), so here goes:

You suck ass through a straw (i know how you hate being praised for your work)
You have poo all over your face (i know how you hate being told you're pretty)
you are stupid ( i know you hate being told you're brilliant)
and i hope you die. (i dont know why i wrote that, all goths like death, right? dont shoot me, that was a joke. i know how much you hate stereotypes)

your embittered (i know how you hate sickeningly cheery people) sister

May she perish in the least painful way possible. ^.^
  • Current Music

Yay! *sigh* Yay! *snif* Yay! *SOB*

Yay! I have my computer back.
*sigh* must wait 'til tomorrow to install the drivers for scanner/printer/etc.
Yay! the tablet functions fine and Photoshop was installed easily
*snif* I have to re-download all my chat programs/transfer crap from this comp
Yay! I can once more FTP without a great hassle, so updates will once more be possible
Art I no longer even have the physical copy of. Art there WAS no physical copy of. Stories and poems I never posted anywhere. Old conversations with friends on AIM or ICQ. Webpage HTML code that I completely wrote out myself but never got around to putting online. Little notes to myself on FTP protocol.
When the computer died, it looked like we'd have to wipe the C:// drive. Fine. Annoying as all hell, but fine. All we'd really lose are old homework assignments and Nicole's music, almost all of which she has on CD, and the rest of which can be re-downloaded with time.
But MY drive, the D:// drive, looked like it would survive. So I didn't worry too much - it appeared to be totally unaffected, and while everything said it would wipe the C:// drive, there was no mention of harming or even acknowledging any other drives. Stupid being that I am, I assumed that about four years' worth of work (I had JUST finished taking all my art and writings and whatnot off this computer and putting them on the other one, and had not had time to make backup disks - we don't HAVE enough disks to make backups of all the art I had on it) would be safe and secure.
I come home one day to discover my uncle took the computer to the shop. All right then. I was slightly apprehensive, but willing to trust the people who are trained and paid to fix the thing.
I get my precious back a week late, and discover everything is gone.
This means I have to push the next update of ML back a week, which I HATE. GOD, HOW I HATE MISSING UPDATES!
I will spend this time meticulously copying and re-saving the source code for the pages and saving all the images, painstakingly rebuilding my stock images library that I had been using for skin tones and backgrounds (I had a set image for Makenzie's bathroom tile, carpet, etc.), and backing everything up twice. At least. I will also be hunting down all the images I have ever posted on any image hosting service online, as in many cases those are my only hope for regaining some form of the art. I get the feeling I will be re-scanning a lot of stuff and backing that up as well. I will be purchasing many, many zip disks.
But all the PSD files for ML are lost forever.

Four years accumulation of work and learning has been reduced to an empty 'My Documents' file. I have been deleted.

If I were the sort to cry, I would have broken down into many, many tears by now.
As is, I will drown my sorrows in Pepsi One and make with the Notepad coding.
  • Current Music
    something of Nicole's behind me


I feel all kinds of not good right now.

Anyone riding in my car tomorrow, this is the plan for after school:
- leave Career Center
- pick up Tish (Tish, unless you post otherwise between now and tomorrow at lunchtime, I will be bringing you my mom's potato soup. It is tasty and good. Tell me if you do not like potato soup and be aware that it contains bacon. I am not sure whether you enjoy bacon, I know only that I do not and so I thought I would tell you)
- deposit Pervert Crew at MHS, pick up sister, Chase, and Eric
- Deposit sister, Chase, and Eric at Spring Woods
- Deposit Tish at her house or anywhere else she will be spending time on Friday afternoon
- Drop off Michael's card
- Get home and work my ass off on ML with no distractions. (any other human being counts as a distraction. That, and I am a bit stressed at the moment and I will probably snap at anyone and everyone.)

Now, odds are the last will not happen. Not once when I have planned to have 'no-distractions-so-I-can-work' time has it actually happened. But I can hope.
  • Current Music
    Nicole is singing Weezer's "Pink Triangle" behind me. wheee.