April 30th, 2002


Because this thing misses me.

I do not enjoy change. I had to sit at a different computer this morning (mine was not liking the internet and I did not feel like getting up and messing with wires and connections and whatnot to hook it back up. I am lazy and I would probably fuck it up anyway) and I am disgruntled because of it. The mouse is odd and does not seem to want to move when I want it to.

I never seem to write in here anymore. There are several reasons for this:
- Even more than Concentric, MSN slows down to the point of being worthless during peak hours. Which means that when I get home from school (anywhere from abotu 4:15 - 5:30 depending on how many people I take home) Yahoo! (the default home page) won't even load. This makes for difficulty in doing anything. Half the time it won't connect to AIM either, so I can't even lurk on a hidden screen name and giggle quietly to myself because you can't see meeeee... (and yes, I do that)
- Nicole has a blog now, and she actually talks to people. The kid has a boyfriend and a social life and thus automatically gets chat-time rights over my sitting there, staring at the pretty colors on the glowing screen. Oooooh, shiny.
- Because MSN is faster late late at night/early morning, I will attempt to sleep and wake up in the wee hours to access LJ and whatnot. This rarely works because once I sleep, I sleep like the DEAD. If not deader. So I usually wind up waking at about 6-7:00 AM, and having to hurry up and get ready for school. So that doesn't work.
- I really have nothing interesting to say. I don't even have uninteresting things to say. I'm just sort of... here... blah.


I cannot pick you up today - I have to be back at the school as soon as possible to finish a Multi-Media assignment. Since she's never clear on what she wants, I've no clue whatsoever how long this will take.

This is a sign of the apocalypse...

I am in a decently good mood.
Most of this is due to the fact that I went clothes-shopping earlier.
Now, I used to hate clothes shopping with a passion unequaled on this planet. This is because:
(a) my mommy used to dress me. And while I love her dearly, the woman's sense of fashion and design does not mesh well with my own. It did not even before I really had a sense of fashion or design. At least she puts up with my gothicky clothing eccentricity most of the time. I think she is afraid of my stripey tights, though.
(b) plus-size clothing SUCKS ASS. Lane Bryant tries, but usually still manages to fail to get anything that I truly enjoy. Everywhere else... ugh. Ugh, I say.
(c) I have only recently developed any sort of personal style. Which I refer to as 'eccentric and unpredictable'. I will dress like a boy and then change into hooker-esque garb simply because I CAN. I love fishnet and lacy/lingerie-type stuff but I realize I don't usually look good in it, and what I want to wear - or at the very least dress someone else in - is often not compliant with school dress code regulations. Fear my clothing when I hit college.

But today was interesting and even enjoyable. Why?

(a) I am wearing a different size than I was a year ago. Half that number, in fact. Which means I no longer have to shop specifically in the plus-size Realm of Ugly Clothing. Now, few of it looks good on me, but I am nonetheless pleased that I have more choices.
(b) I finally got some bras that fit. yeah, you can skip this part where I talk about my underwear. But losing weight means the damned bras did not fit around me. Might as well not have worn them at all; they were that worthless. Now I have some that do fit. Fear the Cleavage of Doom once more, baby.
(c) I found some really pretty lingerie that was really cheap. Hee. I know, no one will ever see me in it, but like I said, I really, really like lacy things. And this is black and lacy. And I enjoy it. So shaddup.
(d) I got the damned coolest fishnet bodystocking thing ever. It has a halter-top neck type thing. I like it. Now I just gotta figure out what the hell I can wear it with, top-wise. I've got a short black skirt that I enjoy thoroughly with it.
(e) I found some longsleeved stripey shirts that I can cut up to make arm socks. For about $1 each. And some pants that I made into cutoffs, for about $2 each. Damn, I love Value Village. All the clothing I can destroy for very, very little. Bonzai!
(f) I found the tights of my dreams. They are black with dragons painted on them. And once I lose a liiiiittle more weight, they will fit. Yeeeeeeesssssssssssssssss.... (did I mention a tights obsession? 'cause it's there. Most definitely).

I am only mildly upset that my beloved corset is now too big for me. Weight loss = good, loss of corset = bad. Hrm.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished