May 5th, 2002


Just got back from Corpus, and boy, is my ass tired.

...That sounds wrong. But hours and hours of bus... ow, my poor ass.

I have determined the following things based on this weekend:

  • I think Michael put it best when he described Emily as "nuts"
  • Seeing Michael and Emily be all cuddly makes me physically ill. I am serious. I have had a headache and been so queasy I thought I'd vomit every few seconds for most of the trip after seeing them.
  • Michael does not, and never will love me. I know, I know, I really should quit whining and accept this, but you know what, fuck you. It hurts, okay? It fucking hurts. I hate myself and want to die. Or some other cliched teenage saying. Take your pick, there are many.
  • Whatever sick, sadistic bastard decided to put three girls with extremely severe body image issues in a room COVERED in mirrors needs to be SHOT. It does not help that these girls don't get along well.
  • I am surprisingly good at dealing with people I am not overly fond of when forced into close quarters with them, sometimes. However, since my method of dealing with them usually involves displaying no emotion whatsoever, I think I broke my face. I can't seem to smile. Eh. I can't seem to want to, either.
  • I am secretly a whore. Well, we knew this already.
  • Emily resents her social status as a bitch-whore, yet does everything possible to encourage it (and has done so from day one of high school). Go figure.
  • I am actually perfectly capable of surviving without my LJ to rant to. However, I become extremely antisocial (moreso than normal) and prefer to hide in a corner of a small hotel bed rather than go out to the beach.
  • LJ is easier to talk to than any human being I have ever encountered.
  • While the beach is very pretty, I enjoy it best at night, alone.
  • I am so knock-kneed it's not funny. My legs are freakish and weird.
  • The world really does not need to see me in a bathing suit. Or cutoffs. Or anything but my jeans, t-shirt, and big black jacket. I will oblige the world.
  • Emily and Elizabeth are scary to shop with. Scary, I tell you.
  • Michael can cook. Who knew?
  • My Best Friends Wedding is a movie that invokes suicidal tendencies on my part. Never make me watch it ever, ever again. We watched it on the bus ride back. I would be angry at whoever picked it, but it was probably Michael's mom, and I love her too damn much to get mad at her for something so trivial.
  • I think I have used up a lifetime's worth of Awkward Moments this weekend.
  • People are so much fun to watch. I don't like interacting, necessarily, but I love watching them go about their daily business, especially in the little mini-world that was our hotel. 'Twas fascinating. Just don't make me talk or smile back at them and I'll be fine.