May 6th, 2002

me

*yawn*

Morning, Livegerbil.
If I am correct, there are AP tests at my school today. If you are not taking one, you do not need to show up at school until 10:00. I am not taking any because my school won't accept the credit anyway.
However, if I am wrong, I get out of first and second period. Works out in my favor either way.
I was having toe cramps. My toes just randomly decided: "I will curl forward and become painful and bitchy if she tries to straighten me out so she can walk!" I just drank a ton of water, which usually does the trick. My mom said it had something to do with a sodium or potassium imbalance. I don't remember what causes the cramps, I remember only that they go away if I walk a lot and drink a ton of water.
Of course, I forgot to weigh first. Crap. Oh well.
Why do I crave peanut butter? That's the strangest thing ever. Damn it's peanut buttery evil.
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    groggy groggy
OMG

(no subject)

I love how Nicole's breakdowns always coincide with mine. Damn that psychic mind link to the deepest pits of hell. It even happens when we don't see each other at all. Like this weekend. Mrrrrf.

She left some papers here. I will hunt her down like an animal and give them back to her.

I need to fill out housing apps for UTSA. I have no hope that there's still a single room left; I'll have a roommate.
Poop.

I have no idea how badly today's schedule is fucked up; so I am going to go ahead and make Tish's lunch before I leave, since I'm not sure I'll have time to come home at lunch.
me

Fucknuggets.

As our last real assignment in English (since our teacher is not stupid enough to attempt to make a bunch of second-semester seniors who have already taken the AP in her subject if they chose to do so do any actual work) we are to give a three-minute speech on how high school has affected us.

... I am trying very, very hard to think of something that won't land me in the counselor's office. I mentioned this, and Alan, who doesn't even know me all that well, turned and agreed wholeheartedly. I have changed so much. Particularly in the last two years. Especially this year. Mostly for the worse.

I lost a lot of things. My blind faith in religion. My trusting nature. My love of learning. My love of people and social situations. My fear of being alone. A lot of weight. My ability to look in the mirror and not want to claw my eyes out because I hate what I see just that much. My artistic drive. My passion for music. My sense of self-worth.
Those who knew me then and know me now might say 'my mind'.

... thinking too much depresses Jenni. How depressed? I just made myself something involving coffee and (gasp!) chocolate. Calories be damned. *siiiiiip*
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative