May 25th, 2002

me

(no subject)

Graduation.
Went. Wore ugly, itchy, and very warm cap and gown. Laughed as the other people complained that it was too hot; for 'twas nothing compared to a marching uniform. We sat, stood, sat, stood, sat, stood, and then sat for an hour. The guy who owns the Astros gave our commencement speech. I'd never heard of this guy. he seemed to repeat himself a lot. Then came the calling of the names. Our 18 valedictorians and 4 saluditorians (or however it's spelled) and then the other 478 or so people in my class. Took a while. Then once we were done, we all stood in a circle around the chairs we'd previously sat in and ignored the command to wait until the last note of the alma mater to throw our hats by throwing them on the first note instead. Ah, teenage rebellion. I kept mine; it goes in our ever-growing costume collection (most of which I will wear - or try to - on a decently regular basis now that I am not in school). Then home, to my family (basic family unit + three pairs of aunts/uncles, adopted neighbor-grandmother, my maternal grandparents, and Tish) for opening of some gifts and a small party. Thank goodness for the small. My mother kept her word concerning the (for the most part) lack of celebration; and now seems to be angry with my grandmother for being slightly racist and none too observant. (she kept saying things about immigrants and those who speak other languages or don't speak English properly, apparently forgetting entirely that my father is from Peru...)
And now we all sit and digest, like so many pythons after devouring goats. Or something.
  • Current Mood
    full full
me

(no subject)

Nicole thought I seemed 'freaked out' at graduation. I don't recall feeling 'freaked out'. Hell, I don't recall feeling much of anything. My overall response to the thought that a major chapter in my life is ending has basically consisted of:
*blink*
" 'kay. Next!"

So yeah. For the most part, it seemed a huge waste of three hours. I watched the crowd responses and I watched the people around me, as always, but there was nothing special going on. Truth be told, I was disappointed. I'd rather been hoping to feel sad to be leaving all the people I know, or happy that high school is over, or scared, or something, anything.
I did, however, reach the conclusion that I've been a mere observer in my life for several years now. Most definitely since high school began, probably a year or two before that. I watch myself, I monitor my own actions, but none of what goes on touches me or affects me. And when it does, it REALLY REALLY does (falling in love, someone close to me gets hurt, etc. that sort of thing). So it's a rare thing, which is probably for the better, because I take everything too fucking seriously (it comes from my reading of way too many melodramatic teen-angst-type novels when I was about seven, which doubtless warped my mind beyond all belief) if I don't. So I watch, and people move about me like characters in some demented play. Sometimes I am the annoying one in the audience, shouting advice at the screen "Don't go in there!". I plot their moves like a chess game, mentally keeping score of how often I am right and how often they do something I'd not expected, which means I must study them more closely. Sometimes I manage to prod my playing piece on the board into a position I prefer, sometimes I let her be. She does things I don't understand and I really don't want to understand, most of the time. It amuses me, and so I do nothing to stop her; I doubt she'd listen anyway.

... I'm going to stop typing creepy shit now and go back to writing thank-you notes...
  • Current Mood
    apathetic apathetic
me

(no subject)

Today, I saw Adam and pegasus_. They were both much smaller than I remember (in the sense that I forgot I am rather tall and they are a bit short, and in the sense that it looked as though they'd both lost weight). They located me after graduation. pegagus_ gave me this adorable little teddy bear. It's so cute. Adam was a hell of a lot more... huggy... than I remember. He nearly knocked me over a few times with his enthusiastic embraces. I did not kill him, because he is Adam, and at that point I'd been hugged quite a bit by quite a few people and was only going to be hugged more, so might as well deal. I did, however, bite him after the seventh hug or so. He quit. They learn so fast. :]=
  • Current Music
    Vanessa Carlton - 1000 Miles (still. I like this song)
OMG

Costumes currently amassed (I have mentioned I love clothes, yes?):

Wench - corset-top thing must be altered or an actual renaissance-type corset be obtained if this costume is to properly survive... Skirt also needs to be taken in a bit. Shirt still fits, because it's a shirt, but it's too big around. Might have to take it in a bit as well.
Geisha - lovely kimono-style robe found for 1/3 the price I saw the exact same garment sold for elsewhere. Niiice. Will probably forgo an actual geisha-type look in favor of a sluttier version (black lace! Wheee!).
Stock goth - stripeys, fishnet, black anything-I-can-get-my-hands-on, etc.
Gothy hooker - Same as above, just with more cleavage and lace. Mmm, lace. And any bondage gear I can obtain. *smiles sweetly*
Punk/raver - Not much, but it's there. Bright colors, odd clothing combinations. Don't wear it often, but I can...
Gypsy - messing with the peasant blouse a wee bit more should leave it resting just off my shoulders instead of hanging off my boobs, which is a precarious position for any article of clothing. Especially shirts. Must obtain more semitransparent scarves... I currently have two. minnaloushe's pretty rose skirt will go with this costume, and can be added to the stock goth or renfair costumes as well.
Hippie - old dress of my mother's from the 60's. Difficult to wear due to the fact that my shoulders are more broad than hers. Curses. Another hippie combo involves the gypsy peasant blouse and a skirt of my sister's.
Boy - got a lot of this one, and it's one I wear often. Just generic guy's clothing. Guy's shorts are a hell of a lot easier to deal with than girl's shorts. More comfy, too. And pockets you can actually PUT stuff in! who knew. I love cargo pants. I stash things in mis pantalones.
70's chick - Groovy dress obtained for $1. I am the thrift store GODDESS.
Graduate - The only one I won't wear in public. Me cap 'n gown.

Costumes I will eventually obtain:
Schoolgirl - I have a skirt that would work. Now I need the proper top. I might break down eventually and go to an actual school uniform shop to get an authentic schoolgirl outfit... this will be after I lose some more weight. natch.
Sari - they are so gorgeous. Nicole wants one, too. I've seen some in thrift stores but never actually bought one.
Opera-type goth-thing - I have these ripped-up gloves that go to the elbow (perhaps opera-length gloves should be looked into..) and a cape. I need a Phantom of the Opera or even Mardi Gras -style mask (If I cannot find one, I'll buy a plain one and paint it up pretty) and I can probably pull together frilly, frouffy clothes from my goth stuff.
Jedi - I will be a Jedi. watch me. I will. *waves a hand in front of your face* I am a Jedi...
Fairy - I will make some wings eventually. Then I can pull together assorted goth/punk/random stuff to make a decent fairy. Might have to rip up one old, slightly translucent skirt of mine. It'd look much better tattered...
Cyberpunk/Cybergoth - Brother's paintball gloves + any random computer bits I can obtain. And shiny things. I like shiny things. hee.
Angel - Actually have to find something slightly whiter in my wardrobe. heh. Might take a while.
Dragon-lady - if I attatch small horns to a thin headband and arrange my hair just so, it will disappear and the horns will look decently 'natural'. then I just gotta make a tail and attatch it.
Pirate - I have a girly-pirate costume halfway there... possibly entirely, depending on what I can steal from Nicole. For a guy-style pirate-y look I'll probably hack up my now-too-large black jeans to turn them into long, raggedy shorts. Over stripey tights, they work.
Death (my version, not Death from the comic...)- I have the cape. Just need a new scythe (I will get a plastic one and place the fake blade on a less easily-destroyed staff - my first scythe got broken) and a mask. Yes, a mask. I'm thinking Phantom of the Opera-type, but with designs all over it. I have plans.

Costume-bits I need:
- shoes that lace up like ballet shoes. I need a pair that are like your basic black chunky mary janes (or even a pair of basic black flats, though the MJs would look cuter), but with a black ribbon lace-up to the knee. And a pair that's like moccasins, but with a soft leather lace-up for the hippie/gypsy costume. I will make these as soon as I can obtain the basic materials. Hell, if I can find shoes that fit at Payless, I'll alter them. (My feet are a size 12-13 in mens or womens US sizes; it varies depending on the style of the shoe)
- that shirt Mak wore in the first few pages of ML. I used to have it, but it's way too big now, and it'd actually be easier to alter another tank top (which is how I made it in the first plac) than to go through the hassle of taking it in. Was a messy alteration job anyway; I can do better than that. It's not really necessary for any particular costume, but I like it a lot.
- a scarf that's not so long that tying it around my head looks ridiculous. maybe just a basic bandanna. Will work for gypsy and pirate costumes.
- corset. Not like the one I have (that's gonna be entirely Nicole's in a month or so, given my progressive shrinking), but a renaissance-style corset, meant to be worn as outerwear. Can be obtained at renfair, provided I save my money.

... it will take me years. And I have to wait until I stop losing weight. But oh, what fun it'll be. Any suggestions?
  • Current Music
    Vanessa Carlton - 1000 Miles (yeah. Still. I like it. Still.)