January 1st, 2003


(no subject)

Been reflecting on the last year. Lots of stuff happened. Some I'd like to repeat again. A lot I'd like to forget, but can't or shouldn't.
It had high points - several. Some extremely high.
But overall, it was low. I have cried, bled, and hated myself more this year than ever before in my life. I think it's a phase. Maybe I'll outgrow it once I'm no longer a teenager.
My resolutions?
I'm leaving people who don't care alone because, well, they don't care. If I didn't care, I'd want to be left alone, too.
I'm losing weight because I can't look in a mirror for more than 30 seconds without crying anymore. And to make my mom shut up. I am starting to worry that I'll respond to her telling me I need to lose weight and exercise with a screaming, crying, hysterical breakdown, and that would be messy.
I'm going to try for better grades because my parents want me to.
I'm getting a job because money is useful.