September 10th, 2004

Sparky the Dancing Crack Owl!

(no subject)

I put on makeup today. I don't know why I bother - to quote Kevin-who-disappeared from the one day I put on lip gunk and wore my hair down, "Why?"
But Emma noticed.
Emma: You look like a goth girl.
Me: What?
Emma: With the lipstick. And the eye stuff.
Me: Right-o, then. Well, maybe I want to look like a 'goth girl'.
Emma: I didn't say it was a bad thing!

Bio Teacher: And how do we date a fossil?
Jenni's Brain: Well, I think dinner and a movie seems appropriate...
[Note: I almost exploded trying to hold that in.]

Bio Teacher: [after class] *blah blah blah interesting tales of medical research*
Girls Who Had Not Left Yet: So you just chopped up dead bodies? Ewwww!
Me: You were the girls in high school who screamed and edged away from whatever you had to dissect, weren't you?
GWHNLY: ... >____> Noo... But, I mean, a HUMAN BODY? Ewww!
Me: A dead body is a dead body is a dead body. Be it frog, pig, human, whatever. If you smell it, does it not reek? If you poke it, does it not go "squish" and ooze a foul substance?
GWHNLY: *blink* *blink* *greenish tinge* *back away slightly*
Me: And on that note, perhaps I should leave. *scuttles away*

I feel compelled to make a CSI icon set. But I will ignore the urge to fangirl. I am ignooooring it. See this? This is me ignoring it.
Really.
Though this makes it difficult. They've got Miami, too. Nicole insists that CSI: Miami is garbage, but it grows on you. Like a fungus. A fungus sprinkled liberally with Adam Rodriguez and David Caruso. Nicole, you may shut up, David Caruso looks NOTHING like Mr. Warren*, as he is five million times better-looking and has a voice that Mr. Warren's wussy vocal cords could never dream of achieving.

I know a disturbing number of you need to go participate in flemco's Offensive Haiku Contest. You lot have some filthy, twisted minds - now put them to use in poetry form! Those of you with normal minds, or minds rated PG-13 and lower may skip this exercise. But I'm not entirely sure I've got anyone like that reading this...

The cat is whiny. I saw him eat his dinner, so I know when he meows and leads me to the box 'o cat food cans that he is a dirty gluttonous liar. I can only assume the trauma inflicted upon him by Life With Gabriel has damaged his memory.

*Irritating band teacher who I only had to deal with for one year, but who Nicole has had to put up with throughout high school. Poor dear. At least she's not in his band. His one resemblance to David Caruso is red hair. That's it.
  • Current Music
    Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness
hentai hat

(no subject)

The outer corner of my right eye hurts. It feels like I managed to bruise the skin there, and/or the eyeball. No visual reason for the pain, but if by next week it swells up and then explodes with baby spiders...
... well, I'd scream like a girl and de-eye myself as quickly as possible. Hell, I may de-eye myself soon if it doesn't go away, as I don't like it when it hurts to blink. That's not fun. Blinking is necessary, and good. I am aware that gouging out my own eye would probably cause some pain, but I can handle pain that I inflict on myself. That's generally not a problem (whiny though I may be). But pain that appears from nowhere for no reason drives me insane. I suppose it is just that I am a control freak - I even want total say in how and when I hurt.

>___> And if I get rid of one eye, I get to wear an eyepatch ALL THE TIME. Even to church, and mom won't give me sass about it. Hmmmm...
I mean, it's not like I NEED both eyes most of the time anyway... And the right eye has worse vision....

Yeah, my brain is totally trying to kill me. I can justify chopping off most of my non-essential-for-life body parts if I try hard enough. I find it hilarious that I am 'eh' about most body mods*, but the idea of cutting off a finger or hand (or chunk of ear, or eye, or toe, or breasts) always seems like such a good one.

I am hoping to try a crazy new recipe tonight. Crazy in the sense that it has not been tried and tested with my family, and therefore I have no idea whether or not they will go anywhere near it. I'm thinking zucchini-type pancakes made with shredded and lightly seasoned steamed zucchini mixed with a bit of cheese and egg (just enough to hold it together) and cooked on a skillet, topped with a black bean sauce, salsa, and sour cream, served with rice on the side (all meals for Dad require rice). Maybe some corn as well. It sounds tasty in my head, but the above few paragraphs demonstrate just how reliable my head is, and I've never seen a recipe online that was similar enough to allow me to compare the reviews. It could be changed up a bit, maybe mix in breadcrumbs and top with tomato sauce for a vegetarian chicken parmesan sort of dish. Except that my dad doesn't like tomato sauce, and then it woudn't be low-carb deliciousness anymore.
The problems with this are:
  • No meat. It's pretty much a ovo-lacto vegetarian-safe meal (one that could be veganized without too much trouble), which means that despite having egg, cheese, and sour cream for proteiny goodness, there is no prominent chunk of flesh on the plate. This frightens and confuses my family members.
  • Mostly vegetable. The other half of the previous problem, really. Zucchini is one of the few veggies they'll all eat, but I don't know if they'd be willing to try it as a main dish instead of a side dish.
  • It's new. New things are scary.
    If I can get Dad and Emma to eat it, my job will be done (maybe I'll serve hers with tomato sauce - she'll consume zucchini with tomato sauce without a problem). The others are either flexible enough to consume it (at least, they will probably try it), or are capable of making their own food without maiming themselves or burning down the kitchen.

    And now you know how Jenni cooks. Several of you are probably re-evaluating your stance on receiving food from me. :D
    I probably won't get to make it tonight, as only the picky eaters will be here (teenagers are marching in a football game), and we seem to have a large quantity of some sort of cassarole in our fridge. Dunno if it's for us or someone else, though. If it isn't ours, maybe Mom will let me experiment. Yay!

    I ought to make a cooking icon. Mmmm, cooking. Though that'd mean a lot more recipe-babble on here.

    It is almost mid-September. Which means Halloween stuff everywhere. BATS! WOOOO! I love this time of year. It is like a delicious cream-filled pastry, only it is not a pastry it is the world, and it is filled with bats instead of cream. So really, it is not the least bit like a delicious cream-filled pastry except for the fact that both are enjoyable.

    Also, Anyone in southern California want a pair of 14 week-old cats? They are adorable.

    *Rarely do I think tattoos/piercings/etc improve a person's looks. Sometimes they don't have an effect either way, but the majority of the time I think they look horribly stupid and really detract from whatever beauty the person had. It depends on the type of mod and the person. Odds are if you are on ye olde flist that I either actually like your piercings/tattoos/cat attached to your shoulder by skin grafts, or don't care for 'em and like you anyway.
    • Current Mood
      spamtastic.