April 12th, 2009


Have an out-of-context Easter.

  • "Okay, who told Uncle Rick that small children are filled with candy?"

  • "... A skeleton bear. That sprays ice cream. What?"
    "Now you're just making stuff up."
    "Yeah, the bear that secretes ice cream, maybe, but a skeleton bear? You lost me."

  • "Shame on you, Jennifer!"
    "What'd she do?"
    "Oh. So, just keeping up a baseline level of shame, then."

  • "You were so pretty!"
    "Yes, I am."

  • "It's cute how your car requires a key to turn on."
    "It's cute how STFU."

  • "I like how everyone in our family goes into this frothing rage at the mention of Joel Osteen."
    "Joel Osteen? Have you seen Grandpa's impression of him?"
    "I... haven't seen it enough?"

  • "What's that in your hair?"
    "It's... stuff."
    "Is it snot?"
    "What is it with you and snot today?"
    "It's nature's all-purpose adhesive!"
    "No, it's not."
    "It's snot."
    "It's not snot."
    "It's not snot not snot."
    "Not not snot, it's snot. "
    "... What were we talking about?"

  • "Is that ice cream?"
    "No, it's butter."

  • "If you loved those sprinkles, you'd have used more of them."
    "I do love them!"
    "I don't believe you. And neither do they."
trying to kill you with my mind

What fresh hatfuckery is this, Amazon?

I learned a new phrase today! Amazon Rank.

Yeah, turns out Amazon's listing GLBTQ books as "adult content", which means they are no longer listed on amazon's sales rankings.
This is upsetting for several reasons.
Firstly, in several cases, the books aren't even showing up in searches -- not even using the complete title and author's name. In addition, the lack of rankings mean that these books are effectively made invisible in terms of best-seller lists, and the option Amazon provides of "If you like _____, you might also like ...." which means that unless you specifically look for a particular title (and sometimes, not even then!) you're not likely to stumble across another book that might interest, or entertain, or help you.
And you know what? This would be aggravating as hell purely because I do not believe that anything remotely sexual or anything containing *gasp* TEH GAY should be hidden away. I would be very annoyed, but I would understand, in a way.
Explicit heterosexual content is, in many cases, NOT being marked as "adult content". Heather Has Two Mommies has been deranked, Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds has not. Stephen Fry's autobiography is deranked. Ron Jeremy's is not.

I useused Amazon a LOT. My mother regularly hashad me buy books for her, I buybought a lot of my textbooks through them, and I dodid a significant percentage of our family's Christmas shopping through the website. Until they fix this, the previous sentence is going to have to remain past-tense.
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    aggravated aggravated