The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

*blank stare*

I was in the band hall with Emily and Liz today, chatting with our new band director. He seems to be a lot of fun; he's very easy to talk to. Well, first off, Emily commented on my wardrobe by telling me to stop wearing the fishnet and black nail polish; as I'm turning into a "freak goth"... I wasn't really pissed off by that then, since I actually found it rather funny (and I don't give a flying fuck what Emily - or anyone else - thinks of my fashion sense).
But then the conversation drifted to Emily's former boyfriends. We were discussing a long string of Matts, Stevens, and whoever else (there were about 10 or so, total), and I asked where Michael fit in. She said that he didn't count, since they never really dated him. We then had to explain to the band director who Michael was, as we all 'have' a Michael - Liz has a Michael (her boyfriend of a year or two is named Michael), and Emily explained that mine was Mike. I said I thought Michael was mine (yes, this is rather silly), mostly since I rarely talk to Mike (not really out of choice, we're just not online at the same time very often and we don't see each other at school). But she told me that "Michael is mine, so just back off!". I wondered, since when had this been going on, and she told me "Don't even go there". e_e;; Normally I'd shrug this off, but at the time, it really got on my nerves. Add that to the fact that I'm *ahem* naturally bitchy this week (God, sometimes I hate being female...), and it was about as close to an honest-to-God all-out, yowling, yelling, spitting, hissing catfight as I've ever been in my life.

*sigh* I don't even want to think about the possibility that Emily and Michael are back together. Used to be, I'd encourage them to try to make it work, to give it another chance. Now I really wish I'd had the guts to tell Emily what I really thought...
"You know, I'm not gonna suggest 'another chance' this time. Because from what I've learned from what I saw when you two were together in some fashion, you're no good for him. Yeah, maybe he's good for you. Maybe he could wind up being the best thing that ever happened to you. But you'd make a lousy match for him. Yeah, you'll tell me I don't know how it was, I don't know what I'm talking about. But I know what I saw; what everyone saw. And you wanna know what that was? We saw you being a complete bitch. We saw you treating Michael like he didn't matter; we saw you insult him behind his back and to his face. We saw you flirt with other guys and even discuss the possibilities of relationships with them. We saw that we didn't really want to respect a person like you. That's why a lot of people lost respect for you, Emily. That's why a lot of people think you're not a very nice person. That's why I'm one of them. And that's why I don't think you deserve someone as nice, as kind, as intelligent, and wonderful as Michael. Yeah, maybe I don't deserve him, either. And maybe he'll never care for me; maybe he'll never even give me a chance. But you know what? That doesn't change my opinion in the least. I still think he can do better.

*sigh* of course, I'm getting all upset over this... and I don't even know for certain what's going on. I've come to realize that Emily's idea of what's going on can be a pretty far cry from what's really happening. Michael hasn't told me anything; but then again, I don't see any real reason for him to tell me anything. I'd just rather like to know. *scuffs shoes against the ground*.
*bigger sigh* I hate it when stuff like this happens. (while I'm starting to dislike the whole 'Emily-Michael' thing, I really mean that I hate not knowing anything) *sighs again* damnit, I need to stop sighing. >_

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