The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

'nother survey...

I have: a headache. And some mint chocolate chip ice cream that I think I'll give to my brother.
I see: my computer, the last page of Makenzie's Locker, which is sitting next to the comp, my tablet and other assorted computer crap...
I hate: being with people; yet I hate being alone. I suppose I only want to be around certain people.
I miss: I don't know. I guess I miss being ignorant of the fact that I'm quite alone. Life was easier when I thought I had friends; even if I really didn't.
I wonder: What the hell I'm going to do with my life. Right now, I dunno if I even want to go to college. I know I should, but I can't seem to motivate myself to even write the essays, and that's starting to worry me a bit.
I want: to be loved. To be remembered.
I regret: Not having the guts to say a lot of things that I really should have said.
I need: to improve. At everything. I suck.
I wish: That I had more desire to do something. Anything.
I fear: A lot of things, I suppose. I used to be afraid of being ignored... now I seek it actively... I used to be afraid of being alone... now I want everyone else to just go away. I suppose what I'm afraid of changes.
I hear: My brother and his friend discussing video games; my brother playing his mandolin.
I love: My family, select people... the people I used to work with, my made-up friends/casts of my comics.
I smell: my ice cream, which is sitting there, mocking me because I feel sick to my stomach and really don't want to eat it now.
I crave: I dunno. Water. Attention... music. yes, music. I think I'll put something on Winamp...
I feel: apathetic.

When was the last time you...

Talked to an ex: I don't have any exes, not really. If Dan counts, and I'm not certain he does because it was an internet thing and, a Emily so pointedly reminded me on valentine's day when he made me a card, "Internet romances don't count". But I suppose in some desperate way, I did love him; and he said he loved me. I spoke to him today over ICQ.
Kissed someone: Never. probably never will. ._.
Were sarcastic: Today, probably. I don't remember.
Laughed: I think today when I was taking Chase back to his house from school. He's a weird, weird child.
Cried: I dunno. A long time ago. I wanted to cry today, but I couldn't. I never really cry anymore.
Had a nightmare: A long time ago - I rarely remember dreams, and the ones I do remember aren't really nightmares; they're just weird.
Danced: Never, really. Well, I took ballet when I was five... does that count?
Smiled: probably same time I laughed earlier today
Bought something: Before going to the career center I stopped by Walgreens and bought some water and some diet pills. Yeah, I've sunk that low. Stop looking at me like that, I checked out the ingredients and they're a mellow kinda pill. 's not like I've got an eating disorder or anything; I'm not that dumb.
Last book you read: Crime and Punishment, I don't remember if I finished it. I don't care all that much...
Last song you heard: Gorillaz - uhh... whichever song of their it is that gets played on the radio a lot.
Last movie you saw: On video or in the theater? In the theater, Atlantis, on video/DVD, umm.... don't remember, probably Dogma, Snatch, or Fight Club. (Nicole goes to her friends' house to watch them regularly, which means I have to take her there and hang around as a chaperone)
Last thing you had to drink: water.
Last time you showered: This morning.
Last thing you ate: I just took a bite of ice cream, before that... uh... I think I had dinner of some sort yesterday. (my eating habits are weird.)

Do you...

Smoke: Nah. Don't like it.
Do drugs: No. Been offered, but I don't think there's really any way drugs would improve my life...
Live in the moment: not as much as I'd really like to.
Sleep with stuffed animals: Not usually, but sometimes I forget to push Mr. Bear off the bed before I crash. It's very comforting to wake up with a big fuzzy thing as your pillow - but not so much so to wake up with a mouth full of fuzz. He sheds. >_<
Have sex: Never. I'll die an old maid. 9_9
Play an instrument: earlier today, in Band. Clarinet.
Had a dream that keeps coming back: nah. I rarely remember dreams unless I wake up right at the end of them.
Believe there is life on other planets: I certainly hope their is. If mankind is the only kind of semi-intelligent life out there... that's just sad for the universe.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: yes.
Consider yourself tolerant of others: Usually... it's been a not-good week this week, though
Remember your first love: Yeah. *sad smile*
Have any straight friends: Yeah.
Read the newspaper: occasionally
Still love your first love: I don't think you ever stop loving someone you really and truly love...
Believe in miracles: Sure, why not.
Have a favorite candy: Not really.
Wish on stars: I don't usually make wishes.
Believe in God: yes, i suppose so.
Believe in magic: Sure.
Believe in astrology: Not really.
Talk to strangers who IM you: Yeah. I do, usually. Unless they start off with "a/s/l"...
Have any bad habits: Of course. (now what they are; that's up to you to decide.)
Like your handwriting: Oh hell no. My writing is completely illegible. (which never ceases to confuse and amaze people who look at my drawings, then at my writings...)
Collect anything: lately, fishnet. e_O;; um... what else... manga, bookmarks of online mangas/comics I enjoy (I have a HUGE list), my own pseudo-mangas (23 to date), scars/assorted wounds (self-inflicted, cat-inflicted... the list goes on and on)
Have a secret crush: Nah. I found that secret crushes cause problems. Be open about it.
Have any peircings: One in each ear.
Have any tattoos: Nope. Don't intend to, either. Nothing against tattoos, I just don't want any.
Go to church: Now that I no longer work on Sundays, yeah. Not willingly; but it keeps my mom quiet (mostly)
Have any pets: A kitty-cat. He likes to gnaw on me. And a hamster. The kitty wants to gnaw on the hamster, but we don't let him.
Wear hats: Nope. Large head, lotsa hair.
Pray: Every now and then.
Believe in ghosts: I think it'd certainly be fascinating if they existed, but I dunno if I believe that they really do.
Care about looks: whose, mine or someone elses? Mine; eh, not enough to make my mother happy (yeah, I look like crap. Yes, I'm comfortable with that.), other peoples, nah.
Believe in Satan: Yes.
Believe in witches: Yes.
Have a best friend: I like to think so. But the term "best friend" is quite relative.

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