The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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I am very, very tired. The kind of tired where moving makes you ache and your eyes feel itchy from staying open longer than they want to.
But if I go to sleep when I get home I'll have to hear my mom ranting about how I don't eat enough and I don't get enough sleep because I'm staying up too late on the computer. So I will stay up. I'm starting to be sorry I cut caffeine out of my diet, the cold water I've been drinking is NOT keeping me awake. Doesn't help that there has been no mental stimulation in my life for weeks now. For all practical purposes, I might as well be dead at the moment.
I will call Whole Foods today. I need that job. Discount or no (I don't need to shop there) $7 an hour is still good money. Now if only I could convince my mother to let me work through church. Personally I think forcing a fairly mature young adult to attend services they do not derive any insight or meaning from can be far more damaging to whatever spirituality they have than allowing them to choose their own path. Unfortunately, my mother is quite set on me attending church and I cannot think of a way to say "Organized religion annoys me" without being disowned. Drat.

A cousin in Peru wrote me wanting to know if she could come to my graduation party.
My response: "Wait... party?" *pause* "Wait... Graduation?"
Now that it seems probable that I will indeed get out of high school by the assigned time, my mom has begun bugging me about invitations and whatnot. I told her I intended to be working that day. Damned if I care. So I get out of high school. Whoopee. I'm done. I don't want to drag my fat ass back to the god-forsaken hellhole of a school that was my home for four years to receive a scrap of paper commemorating that. I want to be elsewhere. She can make me go to the ceremony, but she can't make me celebrate it in any way. Hah.
At least she's not bothered asking about my senior prom. She knows better than to even hope I'd go. Smart woman.

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