The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

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Okay. Can we get a few things straight here?

  • I promise that I will not kill myself. Okay? There. I hate making promises because I do my absolute damndest to keep them. Happy now? You'll be stuck with me for a long time. Or at least until God finally gets around to smiting me for the stuff that goes on in my car. This promise covers starving and bleeding to death as well, for those of you who are wondering.
  • I will make an effort to be happy. I used to have a youth minister (back when I had some faith in organized religion) who told us to 'fake it til you make it'. He meant to smile until you really felt it. I learned that this does not really work all that well. I smiled til I lost it. And I lost my grip on the things that had once made me happy. So now I have to find new things. Please keep in mind that my definition of 'happy' and my methods of acquiring that particular emotion may be a far cry from yours. I feel uncomfortable around people in general, regardless of who they are. 'Hanging out' with friends is a stressful event for me. I absolutely loathe parties and large groups of people. Occasionally I will feel social and not mind having one person around for company. My rule in general towards my friends tends to be "I love you, now please go away and leave me alone." I have absolutely no problem listening to them when/if something is troubling them or going wrong in their lives. I have huge issues with sharing anything that is troubling me if it is not directly related to them. A friend to me is someone who will come to me with their problems and who I will try to help as much as possible. A therapist to me is someone to whom I will share my problems. I do not want a therapist. I have been bugging Michael with the babble formulated by my self-centered little brain for far too long and it is time to quit it.
  • *sigh*I will do my damndest to try to forget Michael. There. Now can all you people get off my back about him? In another two months we will graduate and odds are I will never see nor speak to him again anyway. Lay off.
  • I. Have. Mood. Swings. From. Hell. We need to accept that yes, some days I will be cheery one instant and depressed the next. It happens. I have gotten fairly used to it. I used to say I never believed anything Emily said until I'd heard her say it in at least three different tones of voice so I would know it had survived the mood swings. Please apply that rule to me and we will be able to get along with a lot less needless melodrama.

    I cannot think of anything else, but if I do, I will add on later.
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