*whimper* There is a spider on the wall behind my computer. It is one of those fairly large, jumpytwitchy spiders, the kind I am always afraid will jump on me and bite me and then lay its eggs in my skull.
Why yes, I am utterly terrified of spiders.
*waits about 10 minutes until it goes away, checking the floor and wall every so often for it's presence*
These headphones suck ass... should I move my head or torso, they flicker and I can hear nothing. Hrm.
The guy next to me smells of sweat and food and it is turning my stomach. (Yes, I notice things like that. I am particularly sensitive to scents. I'm weird. Shoo.)
I am staring at my Networking test and I am not registering the letters on the screen. I don't remember what they mean anymore. I did the review packet, I was able to answer the questions yesterday, but... meh.
My networking teacher is constantly looming. So no doing anything else at the moment.
Spidey is back. *hides*
*sigh* I really think it's wonderful that all but maybe one of my close relationships (friendships or otherwise) exist mostly or entirely online. Really. I do. Honest. Perhaps that's why I think I would like Lain so much. If my computer didn't throw a hissy-fit when I tried to watch a movie. Hrm. Otherwise I'd have seen most or all of it already. But nooo. I've got Weiss Kreuz, too, and I can't watch it. That sucks beyond all reason, I tell you. I would like to watch my wacked-out wired anime and my pretty-boy assassins anime. I would. I wouldn't mind being a rabid fangirl of something again... but I cannot. So I will sit and do nothing because I have developed an incredible talent for it.
Oh yeah. I drew something. Scanned it in at school. Had nothing else to do in Multi-media. I mean that. NOTHING.
I am not a happy person. I don't like life,
I am always in pain, and I need it to go away.
I wish someone would understand.
What Goddamnit song are you?
You told me that you want to die
I said I've been there myself more than a few times
And I go back every once in a while
You called me lucky, you.. you called me lucky
You said tonight is a wonderful night to die
I asked you how you could tell
You told me to look at the sky
Look at all those stars
Look at how goddamn ugly the stars are
It's one or another
Between a rope and a bottle
I can tell you're having trouble breathing
'Cause you'll never be okay
You'll never be okay
(You'll always be in pain)
You'll always feel this way
'Cause things they never work out right
(the wrong way the lonely way)
You'll always be in pain
You told me that the daylight burned you
and that the sunrise was enough to kill you
I said maybe you're a vampire
You said it's quite possible I feel truly dead inside
Don't forget to let your life rot you inside out