XP has decided to hate me every bit as much, if not more, than Me did.
I finally broke down and killed the power (after almost 4 hours, mind you). It restarted, began re-installing XP. Apparently no problems. Then it randomly restarted just as it was finishing preparing the installation. I panicked a bit, but then it proceeded to prepare the installation once more. Once it was almost done, it restarted. Repeat process for another hour and a half.
I cannot recall ever having been quite so frustrated with a machine and/or item of software in the entirety of my existance.