The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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My stomach hurts. And I should probably go sleep.

I am bored. And self-centered. So what am I doing?
Re-reading almost a year's worth of my LJ entries (on the 25th or so I'll have had this blasted thing for a year. Now I feel old. And geeky. Mostly geeky).

  • Somewhere along the line, I almost entirely gave up on my use of animemoticons. Y'know. ^_^ , o_0 , and the like. I haven't used them in ages. I barely used the sideways smileys enough to note when I stopped using them. But those anime ones... too damn cheery. And it's rather disturbing that I've been told yes, I really DO make faces like that in real life. I am a fat anime girl. Fear me. (got those weird proportions and physics-defying hair, too. Whee)
  • I was really fucking cheerful. Gah. Somewhat like wobblygoblin, only annoying instead of interesting. Yeesh. I want to shoot me.
  • Whatever happened to rapture? Haven't seen him around for a while. Nor on AIM.
  • took me a while to learn the LJ-cut tag. Poor friends lists... That was back when I posted large pics, too...
  • How many times did I say I'd leave Michael alone? Hah. These past few weeks make up the first time I've really been able to do so.
  • Wow, at the beginning of the year I predicted a major blowout between Emily and Liz. The last few weeks of school I don't think they said anything to one another that wasn't an insult. Mmmm, psychic powers. Or perhaps just BLATENTLY OBVIOUS PERSONALITY CONFLICTS. Yes.
  • "Someitmes I want to be a normal teenager... go to parties, hang out with friends, talk on the phone, have crushes on any cute guy I happen to meet, fret about how I look...

    And then I take a look at the people who are like that. And I can't imagine what it's like... NOT to have these stories, these constantly unfolding and evolving worlds in your mind. NOT to know what it's like to create and draw and write and have people appreciate it. I suppose... if I couldn't do that... I wouldn't want to live. of course, I probably wouldn't know what I was missing, but it's still disturbing and I can't help equating going through life like that to living in a coma, unable to truly take part in life at all. "

    Heh. yeah. Hrm. I cringe at my own old typos.
  • I can't tell at which points the suicide references were genuine and at which points they're just jokes, anymore. Sometimes there were both in the same post.
  • I whine a lot. But it would appear my whining has become at least a little more objective and a little less irritating. A little. Maybe.
  • Whoa. There was a time when I liked my artwork?
  • The Quest to Make Kaen Look Manly was a funny thing. I had the strangest thought today. Chris and Kaen would have most likely, at some point, produced ridiculous numbers of offspring. I can recall Michael saying something about them having kids somewhere along the line. I can see them with five or so children. All varied ages. The eldest would be a girl, after that at least two boys and another girl, maybe two. Oh, that'd be cute. They'd have blue/greenish hair, grey or violet eyes, slightly pointy ears, and they'd all be disturbingly pretty. Kaen and Chris would make good parents, I think. Weird as all hell, but I bet they'd do a decent job. Yes. Div and Jael...if they ever reproduced, I can somehow only seeing them having maybe one child. Jael was supposed to have a fairly slender build, with pretty narrow hips. Makes childbearing a bit more difficult, that does. Jael's got the dominant hair/eye color genes, so the kid would probably look mostly like her (defining facial features enough to determine a resemblance to an ancestor beyond hair and eye color is difficult in anime sometimes)... I think it'd be a boy.
  • If you read closely enough, you can relive the Michael-Emily saga through Jenni's livejournal. Wheeee. Not hardly.
  • Gee, have I changed much?
  • I'd completely forgotten about several of my comics. Like Chaos Factor and Infinity. I think I was going to combine them at one point.
  • The drawing slump began around the end of August/beginning of September. It just escalated from there.
  • I had forgotten; I need to marry grumble. Yes.
  • I really do have a magical talent for fucking up relationships. Remind me to avoid David and my sister. This is also why I do not expect to ever actually have a decently healthy relationship of any sort, myself.

    I haven't stayed up this late for no reason in months and months.
    I'm only through September 25, too. Jeebus. I write too much...
    I just hope my mother lets me sleep in. An hour or so would be nice. I'm not counting on it, but it'd be nice.
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