They are as follows:
1. Don't be a slut
2. Girls* are stupid.
Jenni's rule for life is like the bastard offspring of the two:
1. Don't be a girl*
We have decided that this is the key to a long, happy life.
*NOTE: In this case, the word 'girl' refers to the typical creature we have encountered through our middle school and high school dealings with humans. While pretty to look at sometimes, the vast majority of them seem to be about as deep as bricks. Upon attempting to get to know them, we discovered they really are about as deep as your average brick, and have this disturbing habit of being exceedingly uninteresting creatures. They are very tolerable for anywhere from thirty seconds to two days, depending on our specific moods, but generally long-term friendships don't work out too well. They are finicky and illogical. Quite frankly, they scare me. I am still trying to discern exactly where this intense hatred of my own gender came from....