What the HELL is wrong with some of these girls? The way they treat their boyfriends... UGH!
They berate them for the clothes they wear, for how they look, how little they talk, their basic personality quirks. They ignore them when it's not convinient. They seem to tolerate them when it is.
And these are not jerks. These are not vicious morons with the I.Q.s of tree stumps. These are people I have known for years, who are intelligent, compassionate, and who try to be very loving in their relationships. They are thoughtful and sweet. They get treated like they're nothing, and they just take it. These are not relationships that fall apart after a few dates. These are relationships that span years.
I just spoke with someone I know whose girlfriend complained about having to be seen with him when the clothes he wore were, apparently, unsatisfactory.
Know what he's doing tomorrow?
Buying clothes that are either black, khaki, or denim, so that everything he owns will not clash horribly.
What the fucking hell is wrong with these people?
Am I just exceptionally tolerant? I don't think I am. But I always had that 'Please Remember that They Are Human' approach to relationships. That 'fairy-tale romance' phase that a lot of folks go through - where he's Mr. Perfect, and everything is wonderful when he's around, and other such rubbish - does not occur to me anywhere near the extent that it does with others, if at all. They are people, therefore they are flawed. Deal with it. So he's a little stubborn sometimes. Or perhaps every now and then he thinks he knows everything. Or maybe he doesn't look or dress like he's in GQ. Maybe he's a bit geeky. Maybe he likes to spend some time with HIS friends every now and then.
If little crap like that bugs you... why are you even IN the relationship? You'd be better off dating a Ken doll. Though he might have a little 'trouble communicating'. So even he's not perfect. (besides, Ken dolls are scary. Have you SEEN them? *shudder*) When you established a relationship, you did so with the knowledge that the other party is a human being, with talents and flaws, likes, dislikes, and quirks. Some you may have discovered along the way. Some you probably already knew. But you chose to keep up with it, keep things going along - and you just chose to allow the quality of the relationship to disintigrate.
That pisses me off. Maybe it's my 'geek dating syndrome' kicking in (that would be the theory that any guy on the planet is completely, utterly, and entirely out of my league. Switch the genders and this same principle of thought can be applied to many guys I know). What that does, is make me want to treat anyone willing to sink low enough to have some sort of a relationship with me as though they walk on water, and it amazes me when I see girls treating these wonderful guys like crap. And it angers me because I'd probably take this sort of shit from someone, too. I'd be that stupid, stupid, horribly blinded girl hanging on in an abusive relationship because she feels she deserves it and thinks nothing better will ever be available to her. Here comes the flaw in my "they're only human" take on things: I will rationalize anything. They stand me up? I'd say I was sure there was a reason, and I'd accept any they gave me. They insult me? I take it, and probably agree. They hit me? I take it, reasoning that they're angry, they didn't mean to hurt me, really. How many people have told me Michael was an asshole? I don't mean people who just encountered either or both of us online, where mostly only me bitching endlessly was heard. I mean people who knew us both in person. Who saw us daily. I've lost count. And maybe he is. I can't see it. I probably will never see it. And personally, I don't believe he is anything of the sort. I am, however, painfully aware that my view is biased beyond all hell. I'm not even sure if there's anything he could do to make me really angry at him.
But if I loved someone and was fortunate enough to have them agree to be with me, even for a little while - I would do anything for them. Be anything they needed or wanted me to be. Their sounding board, their punching bag, their trophy, their comic relief, their whore, their messenger, their shoulder to cry on, their sparring partner, their assistant, their sidekick, their friend, their lover... Anything.
And I will never, ever be able to comprehend people who are so nonchalant about tossing aside their relationships.