The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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What's this, she still makes long entries every so often?

It has been an interesting day.
Was woken by Nicole around noonish, when a former classmate of mine randomly called me and asked me if I was coming to his band's show tonight (which I informed him I probably wouldn't be able to do). It never ceases to confuse me when people do that - the random calling to invite me to a show like that, which has now happened twice, the dropped-off invitation to Mrs. Mixon's party, and Jonathan randomly thanking me for attending said party afterwards in an IM... My one guess is that I leave a lasting impression sometimes. I've been described by Dan (he witht he band who called) as "a fucking psycho" before, and I suppose one remembers the 'fucking psycho's in one's English classes. After the phone call, Nicole demanded that I take her places. I took her places, and there are now about 5 lbs of semi-sweet chocolate chips sitting in my car. Must remember to remove them before I go back to San Antonio...
Well, I took her to victory_radio's house, hung about 'til his mother got back, and then headed to the bank and the store on an errand for mum in the torrential rain that decided to pay Houston a visit today. Made it home to find driftingfocus, emperor_boy, and infernaltools were at my house. So I was faced with a dilemma. Go watch anime with them (and if I did not go, Tish and Zach would have no rides and therefore there would be no anime party) or go to the Meet the Band Night at the high school and see all the underclassmen from last year (as I wanted to do and had said I would). Truth be told, at the time, I didn't want to go anywhere or see anyone. I'd entirely forgotten that, when surrounded by people, I am not comfortable. Being alone in my apartment and then being with only Kevin (who I do not mind at all) rather spoiled me, and so going back to a house of 6+ people was a bit of a shock.

Since they were already at my house and I am simply incapable of saying "no" to people, I went to Kelsey's. We viewed Hellsing. And now I know why Greg, John, and Drew were ranting about it for half a year - it simply rocks my pants. It's like 'Vampire Hunter D' and 'Trigun' had a steamy, passionate affair, and this is their unholy, delicious bastard offspring. I want to bear Alucard's children. I do. Mmmmmmmm, the undead.

I do not regret not going to Meet the Band Night. I was reminded of why I felt more at ease with Kelsey after knowing her for all of three days than I had with my classmates after knowing them for upwards of seven years. I did not miss my friends. I don't have any. It's to the point where they're close enough to be counted as family, or they really don't matter all that much, usually because they don't need me at all. My little family has shrunken a bit of late... I have lost contact with several people and I think it's highly unlikely I will ever regain it (at least, not anywhere near the level it was at previously). Michael, Emily, Greg. Oddly enough, the very people my life centered around (the only one who remains is Tish) this last year. Greg decided he hates me, Emily wants to forget high school and anyone involved with it as soon as possible, and Michael never really needed me around to begin with and I finally had to let go of him.

I have been thinking about Greg a lot lately. I hear "Closing Time" on the radio and I think of him. I drive past his house while roaming around and I half-wonder if maybe he's out walking his dog, maybe he'll see me, maybe he'll actually talk to me again. I hear myself quoting him, or thinking about something said or done by the Pervert Crew, or see him post something on DeviantArt, and I miss him. I see my own DA page, with the last journal entry addressing him, the last picture I posted seemingly a trigger in his sudden turnaround towards me. I wonder how he's doing, what has he been up to. I am still so very confused by his sudden decision that I am not worth speaking to. He's so... intense. Not in the mad, passionate way most people described as 'intense' are, but... he's raw nerve. I miss that.

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