The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

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Oh, dear god, they followed me...

TWO of them.
You know the type. They were in YOUR high school Spanish classes, too.
- Giggly, they laugh at everything because apparently everything is an in-joke. Or perhaps they're just really easily amused.
- They flirt with almost anything that has a penis. Every time a male under 50 entered the classroom: "*catcall* Ooooh, moo-ey gwapo!". Yes, like that. See below.
- They speak Spanish with a Texan accent.* After having three years of the class. After three years it is no longer "Well, I was born 'n raised in Texas, y'all!", it is "I'm too lazy to bother to learn how to properly pronnounce "español"
- They wear makeup that no human being should ever possess. I don't care WHAT those teeny mags told you, pastel eyeshadow on tanned skin looks horrible. Particularly when applied so thick it cracks.
- They seem to think that wearing g-strings and low-riding jeans is attractive. In some cases, I can see how it might be. Perhaps if said g-string did not look like a piece of yarn coming from their ass. Then I'd say sure, go ahead, whatever you like. But that just looked trashy. In a BAD way.
- These two prime specimens listed among their hobbies: "Getting wasted". Lovely.
- They attempt to suck up to the teacher in ways that would annoy the six year-old who first thought them up, if ever he found out his ideas had been snitched. A little brownnosing by doing extra work is all well and good, go ahead. Smarmy compliments make everyone around you nauseous.

Fortunately, it wasn't just me. The two people sitting closest to me (I was in a corner, of course) both cringed every time either of the pair opened their mouths. An ex-Marine with one of the most cheerful dispositions I have ever encountered, looked like he might want to leap out the 3rd-story window to escape these girls. A freshman advisory worker very nearly whacked them with her bag on numerous occasions. I apologized to both on behalf of my class. I could've gotten away with saying nothing; both thought I was a junior or higher.

*Anyone who has heard this and can compare it with how Spanish should sound - rapid and flowing and beautifully passionate - will understand why it makes the baby Jesus cry and soil his Holy Diaper.
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