The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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Have given up on keeping up with Nicole/David's relationship, from here on out will read each of their posts once per week, take the average of good vs. bad points, and let it be or offer opinion based on that. Have reduced them to the near "Michael/Emily" category, which means it changes about too much to be worth worrying about. By the time I type up a supportive/suggestion post, the situation is changed. Dealt with people doing that shit for four years. Am fucking sick and tired of it now. Sorry. At least neither participant in this relationship is Satan-like much of the time. Am quite glad for that. No knee-breaking required on my part.

Nearly every time someone mentions something wrong in their relationship, the problem is communication. My default response when a person mentions something not going right with their significant other is "TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT". Do not whine to me and everyone else and then do jack shit to solve the problem*. I am not dating you**, and therefore I cannot offer any real help to the problem. I will, however, make silly attempts to analyze the reason their behavior bothers you based on no psychological background other than my knowledge of you/them and basic common sense. They're not affectionate enough? Tell them. The things they say hurt your feelings? Tell them. The way they grind their teeth makes you want to kill things? Tell them. 'Cause damn if that teeth-grinding doesn't get on my nerves, too. They really ought to stop. [I get silly and sarcastic at 3:40 AM]

"But it'll upset her", "But he'll get mad at me", bitchbitchbitch. So you're telling me you don't want them to know how you really feel, what you really think, and what you are really like. Now, why are you in a relationship, again? Sorry, but after a certain point where you know something's wrong and you've done nothing about it, you lose the right to complain. I have told and will continue to tell people to shut the fuck up, I don't want to hear it, because they aren't doing anything. Rowrhiss.

This is one area where yes, I am actually allowed to bitch because I'm not being hypocritical. I talk to my boyfriend. If something bothers me, he knows about it. If he's upset over something I'm doing, he tells me. If we can't actually discuss it, we write it down for the other to see (Livejournal, with all it's filters, is a lovely, useful thing). Hence that despite the fact that we beat any couple I have ever encountered for combined mood swings, after two and a half months we have yet to argue or have any real problems***.

* This is mostly retroactive annoyance aimed at Emily. If it applies to you, find a trout, smack yourself with it, and find the ONE person you aren't telling the problem to, and discuss it. Because it probably involves them.
** This does not apply if you are Kevin, in which case you may feel free to talk to me as much as you like.
*** Now watch, Fate will decree that seconds after I post this, we break up or some such so that you might all laugh at me. Damned Fate.

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