The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

In small, food-drenched doses, I have the BEST (or at least most entertaining) family ever.

My brother is a jackass, and though our parents don't seem to realize this and continue to buy him whatever he wants (we suspect it is because he is male. This is literally the ONLY reason any of us, him included, could come up with), I decided to not turn into my mother just yet. So Alex, boy-who-is-living-with-us who is polite and cool and well-behaved in addition to being one of the funniest people I know, got the lobster hat. He looked fabulous in it.

Family came and reminded us that it is indeed genetic from BOTH sides. There were tales from Grandpa of lesbian vampires, Nicole's tyrrannical childhood/reign of terror over Gabriel and I, our aunt Alice being grateful for not having children, and marital strife between Rolando and Claudina. Except not so much on the last part.
[Tidbit: Nicole went by 'Nikki' until about four or five years ago. Since then, she has been 'Nicole'. No one in our family over the age of 20 can ever grasp this]
Nicole: Okay, I'm going to take over for Jenni on the following questions. Anyone asks: "How are you", "How's school", "How's your boyfriend" or "Who is your boyfriend", and I will answer for her.
Me: And in return, I will stab anyone who insists on calling her 'Nikki'.

The family presents were opened. Mom liked her necklace, Dad likes his Bond CD (Rolando immediately 'borrowed' it to 'make a backup'. Riiiight), Emma thoroughly enjoyed the inflatable Spongebob Squarepants we got her. Yay. My mom gave our uncle Rick (who is much like Gabriel only slightly more responsible and a good bit older. And taller) a sheepy. Poo, sheepy, poo!

We then went to church and watched the scary choir leader lady who can't sing, play flute, conduct, arrange music, or pick songs that don't sound like ass, yet insists on doing all of the following. Someone's daughter also sang, as she has done every year in recent memory. As per the norm, she appeared to be dislocating her jaw to swallow a goat or something on the higher notes. This amused me. I am going to hell, but at least my entire family is goin' down with me. HAHAHA.

  • Bit late but still alive

    It's that time again, folks. || 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 || 1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd…

  • oh look who's still alive

    It's that time again, folks. || 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014|| 1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done…

  • 2014 can die in a fire

    It's that time again, folks. || 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013|| 1. What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before?…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.