Name five idiosyncrasies you have: (These aren't necessarily bad, although they can be if you like.)
1) When eating M&Ms, Skittles, or anything else that is small and multicolored (I do this to a degree with peas, too, come to think of it), I have to eat them in a very specific order. If I don't have the space or time to eat them like this, I probably won't bother with it unless I am very hungry. I will first set aside the ones with any discolorings or deformities, and eat them. Then I will group them according to color (or with peas, size), so that there is an even number of each. Say I have 35 M&Ms. Three green, ten blue, five yellow, seven red, six brown, four orange. I will set aside three of each color. That leaves me with seven blue, two yellow, etc. I take the color that has the least, and set aside that many in another group. I do this until they are all separated. I then eat the smallest group (smallest meaning the least number of colors) first, then the next smallest, etc. Once I get to the group that has all the colors, I will eat one of each color at a time, always setting them aside first so that the numbers are never uneven. I eat the warm colors first because I like the cool colors better.
2) I meow. Apparently, I meow accurately. The cat will talk back to me. I make cat-like noises when in pain or curious. I didn't even know these noises were catlike until we got a cat, as I had only really been around dogs until then.
3) When driving distances I am familiar with (this is most common in the Houston-San Antonio drive) each time I see a "San Antonio/Houston - ___ miles" sign, I re-figure the number of miles I've gone and the number I have yet to go, adding in the fact that my family's home in Houston is not in the center of the city and nor is my apartment, which alters the number of miles somewhat. I also figure out how many minutes it will take me if I go ____ mph. I usually give myself a set number of minutes to get there, and I get very frustrated if I have to go slower or there is traffic and I take even one minute more than I decided I should. This is why I don't stop during the drive unless I am about to explode or my car is running on fumes.
4) This is more prominent during times when I draw a lot, but I always - ALWAYS - own at least ONE mechanical pencil (rarely more than three). One particular pencil is always "the" pencil. I do not loan it to people, and I know where it is at all times. When I am artistically productive, it is always in my pocket (if I am wearing the Big Black Jacket) or my purse (if my attire has no pockets of proper size). When I don't bother to draw much, it may not be on my person but I do know where it is at ALL times. Right now it is in the outside zipper pocket of my big black purse. *checks* yup. If I lose The Pencil or someone moves it, I will hunt for it for hours. Nicole has borrowed The Pencil before on accident (I left the room, she was doing homework and picked it up) and I flipped out. I actually got less upset about Emma using my Prismacolor markers and leaving the caps off many of them than I did over Nicole (or other people) using my Pencil. When, in time, The Pencil breaks, I will make excursions to several stores before selecting a new Pencil. Most people do not understand my pickiness over and protectiveness of my writing/drawing utensil, given that it usually costs about $2 at Walgreens.
5) I use a noticeably different tone when speaking to anyone who is serving me. This includes waiters/waitressess, people selling me tickets, salespersons, and even people who hold the door open for me. I also use it when serving people - I employed it often at TAS (particularly with adult customers). Sometimes I'll do it when speaking to more elderly adults I dont' know, but not as often. My voice gets higher-pitched and softer - I sound like a little girl. I also speak simply and more clearly, and I smile to the point where you can hear in my voice that I am smiling. Tish and Greg noticed this when we were eating dinner together once. I have no idea why I do it, but I always have. I suspect it's sort of a submissive gesture, a way of saying "yes I'm bigger/stronger/technically paying you to do ____ for me right now, and I'm so sorry about that, please don't think ill of me for it, etc." If I am sitting while addressing someone who is standing (this applies mostly to waitstaff if I'm in a restauraunt, doubly so if it's a nice restauraunt) I will sort of duck my head apologetically if I have to ask for something.
Name five things you do, feel, think, or believe that others might find odd:
1) I am always onstage. When I am aware of people watching me, there is no action taken without a check first - will what I say sound stupid? Is it silly-looking? Can I do that gracefully? Who will hear? Who will see, and from what angle? Many behavior patterns I have are the result of years of this process, now reduced to reflex. The only exception being when I am startled. It is extremely rare that I can relax and act without second-guessing myself. One of the reasons I dislike being around people is that I am playing a part I don't like - and it gets very tiring after a while. When I am alone I can wipe the slate clean and just be nothing.
2) I harbor the thought of hurting my body almost constantly. Not always because I feel I 'deserve' it, not because I get any sort of pleasure out of pain, not for artistic reasons, but rather because I simply think it should be done. It seems to be common sense. Look both ways before you cross the street, wash your hands before cooking, mutilate your body. On some level I know that's not right, and that's really the only reason why I'm not constantly bloody and/or in splints and casts. The idea of cutting off fingers and breaking my arms (particularly my right one) is very appealing to me, as though it would make things 'right'.
3) Drawn-out apologies bother me. The most surefire way to piss me off is to apologize excessively for something you've done or said, particularly if it isn't that major or if I've already told you it's okay. Be consise, be truthful, then move on. If I don't think you need to be apologizing, (i.e. whatever happened isn't important, wasn't your fault or, worse yet, was my fault) I will be angered to the point where I will want to slap you. I am very hypocritical on this point, because I will apologize for anything and everything.
4) I can remember two times in my life where I have felt 'pretty'. Once in elementary school, once in high school. Both times I was either informed or it was implied that I was quite wrong. I become physically ill if someone tells me I am attractive, to the point where if they keep insisting, I will throw up. I hate throwing up.
5) Every now and then, I dream about killing people. Not anyone in particular, just finding some random person who's alone, and killing them. I know of many places where I could bury the body. With nothing to connect me to them, I could probably do it with ease and get away with it. I never feel any regret while contemplating these things, though I usually manage to catch myself before I start looking for victims. The urge to do this usually only happens once every few months.
Name five things you probably shouldn't do, but do anyway:
1) Give in to my random food cravings. I will really want to eat the most random things for no reason at utterly random times. Example: two days ago at about 2 AM I suddenly craved pasta salad. Two hours ago, I gave in and made some. I am now content, even though I probably shouldn't be eating it due to diet. *munch munch munch*
2) Avoid social gatherings of any sort.
3) Spend so much time online.
4) Procrastinate. With everything.
5) Um, I don't know. Sleep a lot?
Name five things you are doing to improve yourself or your quality of life:
1) Trying to diet. 9_9 not always succeeding, but trying.
2) Making attempts to exercise more, too.
3) Studying. It keeps my parents happy, therefore improving the quality of my life.
4) Getting a job. Or at least applying where I can.
5) I dunno.