The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

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Ugly babies, this post is probably induced by sugar and caffeine. I'm sorry.

This subject sprung to mind because someone on my friends list had a surprisingly cute baby. Not surprising in the sense that her gene donors are hideous creatures (from the photos I've seen, they're actually quite attractive), but surprising because let's face it - to people with no genetic ties to them, most newborn babies are not all that adorable. I shocked and horrified my mother recently by identifying myself as a "hideous fat little troll-baby". And I WAS. We have photographic proof. Note how the people holding me (my abuelita and my father, respectively) keep me far away from their brains. A hideous fat little troll-baby with a mohawk (I had hair that stood straight up, it drove my grandmother insane). I had a cute period from about age 3 to 6, during which time my hair finally grew out enough to weigh itself down and I had 'baby fat' as opposed to 'actual fat', and yes, I was adorable. Then I reverted back to troll status, where I have remained since. Oddly enough, I've also barely aged since that second troll period began, so far as facial features go. It's my Peruvian genes - I do not age. Either that, or I am secretly Aes Sedai. *shifty eyes*

But yes. Admitting that some babies are ugly is apparently a horrible crime just this side of drowning puppies. Why? Let's face it - some babies, and some kids are ugly. Newborns especially tend to be not all too pleasant to look at. Sort of a very squashed Winston Churchill kind of look. I don't particularly BLAME them, very few things are all that lovely when they've just been born. I mean, you get squeezed out of someone's vagina for a few hours and see how beautiful you are. It's just the way it is. But why can't we accept this?
Nicole loves babies. I don't understand this. Then again, she isn't fond of animals at all, and probably can't really understand my love for them, so fair's fair. She doesn't cook and eat the cat, I don't cook and eat (many) babies. It all works out. Why can't everyone be so reasonable?

I'm so glad all the parents I have on my friends list are sensible people who seem to be raising their children in a most excellent and realistic manner. With the exception of flemco, your kids all seem to be growing up to be wonderful people, an accurate reflection of your personalities. Grant, I don't know whose soul you sold to get a cute, sweet, and highly entertaining kid, but I bet it was worth it. :D

Have any of you encountered ugly babies? Were you yourselves ugly babies? Have you ugly babies in your family tree? Share with me the tales of ugly babies, ugly children, the works.
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