My love for people is directly proportional to how absolutely awful their puns are. Someday this will get me in trouble when I meet an amazingly punny asshole and follow him around like a puppy.
I can't decide whether to pity this guy or hail him as a hero to us all.
I've spent too long reading customers_suck; I want to hang around retail establishments, wait until a customer starts being an asshat for no reason, and then shoot said asshat. I mean, yell at them. Right. And by 'yell', I mean 'slaughter'.
Oh come on. Like the world wouldn't be WAY better if we were allowed to shoot others for being complete and inexcuseable jerks.
And now, Random Quotes. With commentary!
ramaxela: What did the architect rap?
jenni_the_odd: I don't know.
ramaxela: I like big BUTTRESSES AND I CANNOT LIE.
jenni_the_odd: That's horrible. I LOVE you.
Alex doesn't know it yet, but I will marry him for his puns. Or alternately, keep him chained in my basement and only feed him when he is funny.
feyr: *has a weak spot for text-to-speech*
jenni_the_odd: *stores that knowledge away in the File of Things I Will Need To Know If I Ever Become A Supervillian And My Friends Become Superheroes To Fight Me*
jenni_the_odd: You laugh now, but it's a huuuuge file.
I actually have this text file. In the event that I die and someone goes through my things, they will be amused and frightened.
Do Nerf enthusiasts really need a 'haven'?
jenni_the_odd: And then one day one of them makes a typo and enters "narfhaven.com", a Pinky and the Brain slash site...
feyr: ...oh, wait. These are Nerf enthusiasts who mod their guns and, according to their own FAQ, "take them way too seriously". Maybe they're planning on starting a cult compound or something.
feyr: I wish narfhaven.com actually existed.
jenni_the_odd: You are now checking to see if narf-yes, yes you were.
feyr: ...the Brain is hot, what can I say?
jenni_the_odd: ... I should be surprised, but he DOES bear an eerie resemblence to Jeff Goldblum....
feyr: In a totally straight and non-zoophilic way.
Sadly, Kevin had to be destroyed for the good of all mankind. Also, you're thinking about Brain/Pinky slash now, aren't you? I win.
jenndolari: George Lucas can kiss my ass.
jenni_the_odd: And he might, if you told him that toys of him doing so would make money if featured in the next Star Wars movie!
jenndolari: He would.
jenndolari: He honestly would.
Still bitter over episodes I and II.