He tried to relate the story to Nicole, who was devouring something in another room, but the moment had passed. And I suspect you aren't laughing either.
Other things that are the new black:
- large dinosaur pins
And anti-patriotism is the new anorexia, according to Nicole. I'm not sure how that works, but I'll trust her on this one.
I feel like such a pedophile. While in Houston, I was exposed to the newest Harry Potter trailer. I saw the guy playing Harry, and commenced drooling. Boys my brother's age are NOT allowed to be that hot! WTF, Hollywood. Way to make me feel like a skeezy old woman. Three years 'til he's legal, and then I may drool guilt-free.
I keep imagining that I'm covered in insects. This is probably hilarious to watch, as every few hours or so I start slapping my arms or shoulders or getting up and checking myself thoroughly to make sure there really aren't ants crawling all over me.
My mother suspects the constant stomachache and throat-burny are an ulcer and acid reflux. She has given me pills, which are being combined with my treatment (which consists of "live almost entirely on TUMS and water because everything else hurts" and will probably not last too much longer because, painful or no, I want a damn sandwich).