The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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And now, quotes from jenndolari

Because it is entirely possible that she is the funniest person I know. :D

jenni_the_odd: You know, there are a lot of pictures out there of the LOTR cast members being silly and touchy-feely
jenni_the_odd: but this is definitely one of the best:
jenndolari: Spend three years making movies, you will be. :)
jenndolari: ::writes Aragorn/Merry Slash::
jenni_the_odd: oh dear
jenndolari: ::ahem::
jenndolari: And lo did Aragorn the Elven King lick the ample ear of pippen and it was good and stuff cause it's so big and unf unf unf.  lololol.
jenndolari: Your tax dollars at work.
jenni_the_odd: Wow
jenni_the_odd: truly, mankind has advanced
jenni_the_odd: we have made the wheel, we have built towers to the skies, and now..
jenni_the_odd: we have brough bad white-man dancing to space.
jenni_the_odd: *trumpet fanfare* and lo, I am back in San Antonio.
jenni_the_odd: *stands with hands on hips, cape billowing in the wind*
jenndolari: TA DAA!
jenndolari: SUPER JENNI MAN....wait
jenni_the_odd: ohdear
jenndolari: That's not right.
jenni_the_odd: that's very not right
jenndolari: SUPER JENNI GIRL...
jenni_the_odd: that works
jenndolari: Hrm...I'm not sure that's politically correct.
jenni_the_odd: SUPER JENNI THING
jenni_the_odd: hehe
jenni_the_odd: I dunno, I sort of like being SuperThing
jenndolari: SuperThing!
jenndolari: Faster than a speeding dohickey.
jenndolari: More powerful than a whatchamacallit.
jenni_the_odd: Able to leap tall whatchamicallits in a single bount
jenni_the_odd: dammit, you beat me in the spelling of whatchamacallit.
jenndolari: Able to leap a tall...oh you beat me to it.
jenni_the_odd: You can be my sidekick!
jenndolari: Ooooh,
jenndolari: Just call me "Decoy!"
jenni_the_odd: Wonderful
jenni_the_odd: we'll battle... stuff.
jenni_the_odd: YES
jenni_the_odd: Kryptonite : Superman :: Dictionary : SuperThing
jenndolari: No.  Take it away!  Not...FUNK AND WAGNALLS!
jenni_the_odd: DAMN YOU, WEBSTERRRRRRR.... *melt*
jenni_the_odd: hehe
jenndolari: OF course, we couldn't use Propoer nouns.
jenni_the_odd: So we'd never really get anything done
jenndolari: So we'd have the Thing Thing in the THing Thing and our Thing Thing would give us things about things.
jenndolari: "There's a thing in the thing on the thing!"
jenni_the_odd: "*gasp* Not the thing!"
jenndolari: Holy thing, Super thing!
jenni_the_odd: My head hurts just thinking about it.
jenni_the_odd: I mean, my thing hurts...
jenni_the_odd: that sounds dirty.
jenndolari: Could be worse.  Our hero next door can't use verbs,.
jenni_the_odd: eek.
jenni_the_odd: Hey, Decoy... Who's our arch-nemesi-er... arch-thing?
jenndolari: Noun Man.
jenni_the_odd: okay
jenndolari: Along with Adverb Man
jenni_the_odd: *shudder*
jenni_the_odd: and Adjective Boy?
jenndolari: Indoubitably.
jenndolari: Oh, no!
jenni_the_odd: NOOOO!
feyr: Oh no, not the Grammar League!
jenni_the_odd: Quickly! Get in the thing, and bring the thing!
jenndolari: This thing?
jenndolari: Or that thing?
jenni_the_odd: no, the other thing.
jenni_the_odd: the thing with the stuff.
jenndolari: This thing?
jenni_the_odd: no...
jenndolari: Ohhhhhhh........
jenni_the_odd: the THING thing
jenndolari: The thing with the Stuuuuuuuuuffff.
jenndolari: Not following you.
jenni_the_odd: dammit.
jenndolari: The thing?
jenni_the_odd: the... thing...
jenndolari: OH do you mean "The Thing?"  Like in Fantastic Four?
jenndolari: I meant Like int Thingy Thing?
jenni_the_odd: No, I don't think so.
jenndolari: OH, then the thing with the thing?
jenni_the_odd: Yes!
jenndolari: (Meanwhile!  The Grammar League follows copious instructions the the secret underground thing of Super Thing.)
jenni_the_odd: (DUN DUN DUNNNNN)
jenndolari: "It says here to take a left at the vibrantly green leafy tree like structure composed of plant cells and rooted into the too too solid floor,  This the place?"
jenni_the_odd: Okay, we've got the thing.
jenni_the_odd: let's go!
jenni_the_odd: oh... the Things are here.
jenndolari: Wait.
jenndolari: Does this thing make my thing look fat?
jenni_the_odd: Which thing? And which thing?
jenni_the_odd: *too late, SuperThing realizes that she has given the incorrect answer. Mostly because there IS no correct answer)*
jenndolari: thing is....thing.
jenndolari: Well...Let's get int he thingthing and thing the thing outta thing.
jenni_the_odd: Yes
jenni_the_odd: THINGS.... AWAY!
jenndolari: But I need that thing.
jenni_the_odd: oh.
jenni_the_odd: which thing?
jenndolari: That thing.
jenndolari: OVer there.
jenni_the_odd: this thing?
jenndolari: By the thing.
jenndolari: Can't throw it away.
jenndolari: It supports my things.
jenni_the_odd: that thing?
jenni_the_odd: Hmmm
jenndolari: Wait.
jenndolari: It's okay.
jenndolari: I thought I had things, but things happened and now I don't need the thing.
jenni_the_odd: oh, okay.
jenni_the_odd: so all things are taken care of?
jenni_the_odd: THINGS.... AWAY!
feyr: ...that has to be the least inspiring battle cry I've ever heard.
feyr: ...*cough*
jenni_the_odd: :p
feyr: I wasn't staring at your things!
feyr: I was just...thinging.
jenni_the_odd: Suuure.
jenndolari: My things are UP HERE, thank you.
feyr: Cross my thing and hope to die!
jenni_the_odd: I'll thing YOU.
feyr: Rrrowr. ...wait.
feyr: I'm afraid I have to join the Grammar League...I can't tell whether I'm supposed to be frightened or aroused...
jenni_the_odd: Noooooooo!
jenni_the_odd: *sigh* We thing more things that way.
jenndolari: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Grammar:
feyr: I shall become...Punctuation Fellow!
jenndolari: "We have a 3,000 page draft for "How to start the Grammar car."  Can't we shorten this thing up?
jenndolari: GRAMMAR TWIN POWERS!  ACTIVATE!  Form of a Dangling PArticiple.  Form of a Split infinitive!
feyr: Ewww. That reminded me of the Wonder Twins porn I stumbled into once.
jenni_the_odd: ewwwww.
jenndolari: I dunno.
jenndolari: Wondertwin power could be really cool if it was wierd fetishes.
jenni_the_odd: FORM OF A GOAT
neonid: I don't know what the fuck los even means.
jenni_the_odd: it's a plural form of 'the'
neonid: I see.
jenni_the_odd: mascluline plural form, to be specific
jenni_the_odd: and now you kn- yes, dear.
jenndolari: Example: "Los Skullfucking Monkeys entran, pero pueden salir."
jenni_the_odd: ...
jenni_the_odd: I'm not sure I want to teach Michael any Spanish involving skullfucking monkeys...
jenndolari: La biblioteca de los skullfucking monkeys esta en la mesa y es azul.
jenni_the_odd: wait...
jenni_the_odd: the skullfucking monkey's library is on the table and is blue?
jenni_the_odd: .... or have I forgotten all spanish I have ever learned?
jenndolari: "In" the table.
jenni_the_odd: okay, so I wasn't imagining that you were just spouting skullfucking monkey nonsense
jenndolari: Actually, those were sentences one of our spanish techer taught us.
jenni_the_odd: ....
jenni_the_odd: but... wait...
jenndolari: The thing was to get the grammar right, and not focus on getting the SENTENCE right.
jenni_the_odd: ahhh
jenndolari: SO she taught us sentences that made no sense, so we'd learn how to actually conjugate stuff instead of just memorize the sentences.
jenndolari: Mind you, I took a liberty with it.
jenni_the_odd: clever.
jenndolari: She didn't say Skullfucking Monkeys.
jenni_the_odd: I would imagine not.
jenndolari: She said "skullfucking Marmosets."
jenni_the_odd: of course.
jenni_the_odd: can't have young impressionable children being exposed to monkeys.
jenni_the_odd: tru dat.
jenni_the_odd: ... shoot me if I ever say 'tru dat' again, okay?
jenndolari: Yo yo, my dawg.
jenni_the_odd: *snicker*
jenndolari: I be da shnizzy wizzle wit da fuzyy nuzzle foo foo da spleegle blorp bleep didlle doo bachom ba chewy chewy chomp.
jenni_the_odd: *snerk*
jenndolari: In the new Star Wars DVDs that's how R2 is going to talk.
jenndolari: To reach that Urban Audience.
jenni_the_odd: Of course.
jenni_the_odd: Ironically enough, it will be MORE difficult to understand than "bleep-blip blooop"
jenndolari: I've always had a pet theory that R2 has the foulest mouth ont he planet.  And CONSTANTLY calls C3P) "Fag."
jenni_the_odd: Oh, I would imagine so.
jenni_the_odd: I mean, doesn't everyone?
jenndolari: I'm sure they do.
jenni_the_odd: C-3PO is the Rodney Dangerfield of robots. He gets no respect.
jenni_the_odd: FOR GOOD REASON.
jenndolari: "I'm not going that's much too rocky!" "Fag."  "FINE!  Go that way! You'll be breaking down in no time you no status scrapile!" "Fag!"
jenni_the_odd: Amazing, the games that result from drugs.
jenndolari: I wonder what drug made: "A plumber goes into the mushroom kingdom, on the back of a friendly dinosaur with his plumbing brother to rescue a princess from an oversized alligator that spits fire."
jenndolari: I want ten pounds of whatever that was sent to me at once.
jenndolari: Four Bettas of the Apocalypse.
jenni_the_odd: OH GOD
jenndolari: Would Four Tetras of the Apocalypse be more to your taste?
jenndolari: They are named "Fire, Pestilence, Plague and Fishy the Fish."
jenni_the_odd: waffles...
jenndolari: ::obeys hypnotic keyword command::
jenni_the_odd: heheh
jenndolari: KILL!
jenndolari: KILL!
jenndolari: KILL!
jenndolari: Mmmmmmmmmmmm........waffles........
jenndolari: KILL!
jenni_the_odd: ohmy.
jenni_the_odd: I've released a merciless killing machine that's part of this complete breakfast!
jenndolari: VITAMINS!
jenndolari: MINERALS!
jenndolari: BLOOD!
jenni_the_odd: DEATH!
jenni_the_odd: the cereal mafia.
jenndolari: Run by the evil Snap Crackle Pop family.
jenni_the_odd: *shudder*
jenni_the_odd: if you cross them, they make YOU snap, crackle, and pop.
jenndolari: The Corleones, The Sopranos, The Krispionas!
feyr: Being sent to sleep with the fishes in Rice Crispies Treats shoes doesn't have quite the same impact as cement...
jenndolari: Well, the hats don't help their image much, either - but it makes 'em MEANER!  MADDER!

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