The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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Quotes Involving Michael

Oddly enough, he's been pestering meexcitedly reminding me to post this. I know he's said more funny things than this, but I need to read through old chat logs to find them, and I am tired/lazy.
jenni_the_odd: I have chicken salad of DOOM
neonid: DOOM
jenni_the_odd: Seriously.
jenni_the_odd: It's on the ingredients, right after parsley.
neonid: I would totally put that in the ingredients of a product I made.
jenni_the_odd: Me, too.
jenni_the_odd: If I become a chef... Oh, the fun I shall have,
jenni_the_odd: "Our specials today are DOOM salad with citrus-glazed chicken, and filet of DEATH with roasted bell pepper soup of TOTAL DESTRUCTION."
jenni_the_odd: I'm not sure whether to say "Let's hope you and I never go into business together" or "let's go into business together"...
jenni_the_odd: we will manufacture DOOM.
neonid: You know you want to say the second.  How could you resist monosodium glutamate OF DECIMATION.  Yeah, that's right.  Our MSG will REDUCE YOUR FAMILY BY TEN PERCENT.
jenni_the_odd: OHOHOHO
neonid: Feel like your son's getting a bit to big for you to handle?  Just come to us.
jenni_the_odd: Man, we're going to have to make people sign waivers just to look at our products.
jenni_the_odd: Reducing us by 10% would... get rid of almost half of Gabriel. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
jenni_the_odd: The prospect is indeed a tempting one.
jenni_the_odd: COCK
neonid: Yes.  I have one.
jenni_the_odd: of course you do.
jenni_the_odd: And I have a water bottle!
neonid: Those two things are not compatible unless one is very small, or the other very large.
jenni_the_odd: this is true
jenni_the_odd: but I do in fact have a water bottle!
jenni_the_odd: several, actually
jenni_the_odd: though I am lacking in the cock department.
jenni_the_odd: But I will live with just my water bottles.
jenni_the_odd: not... in place of cock... but... 'cause, I mean, ow...
jenni_the_odd: but as something to do... or... uh.. to keep my mouth occupied...
jenni_the_odd: ... feel free to MAKE ME STOP TALKING at any point, Michael...
neonid: It's much more fun this way.
jenni_the_odd: May I have your liver?
neonid: ...why?
jenni_the_odd: No reason.
neonid: Give me a reason.
jenni_the_odd: I'm not building a monster out of parts of my friends.
jenni_the_odd: Of course I'm not.
jenni_the_odd: I promise I'll take real good care of it
jenni_the_odd: I'll feed it and brush it and take it for walks.
neonid: Livers don't walk.
neonid: Or ahve hair.
jenni_the_odd: ... oh.
emperor_boy: But it would be great if they did, because then your liver and Michael's could have an explosive romance.
jenni_the_odd: Of all the plans for my and Michael's livers, I don't think an explosive romance was in there anywhere.
jenni_the_odd: Mostly because it sounds painful
jenni_the_odd: I'm trying to figure out the physics of eight penises...
neonid: Don't.
jenni_the_odd: but...
neonid: No.  You'll make Steven Hawking cry.
jenni_the_odd: I would keep you in my pocket.
neonid: All of a sudden your words make me feel like a shriveled penis.
jenni_the_odd: but I am still teh winnar!!!11
neonid: ...
neonid: You do realize the fact that you said that negates any victory you might have had, right?
jenni_the_odd: [let me have my victories where I can get them, you bastard]
neonid: But I must....for the sake of....boobs everywhere.
emperor_boy: *I* couldn't resist Jenni's boobs. When I was being clutched protectively by Jenni from Greg, I could not resist the boobs. And not even in a perverse way; they're just SO COMFORTABLE
neonid: Stop, ye temptress!  Drive me no longer toward those siren flesh spires.
jenni_the_odd: Michael, does my soul stay crunchy in milk?
neonid: Your soul is sort of soft and creamy.
neonid: In a dark chocolate sort of way.
jenni_the_odd: Jenni Bravo: International Woman of Mystery!
jenni_the_odd: *strikes a pose*
neonid: ...if you're known internationally, doesn't that sort of kill the mystery?
jenni_the_odd: ...
jenni_the_odd: dammit.
neonid: Jenni, I sit around all day playing video games.  I don't exactly think of myself as Mr. Dynamo.
jenni_the_odd: *snicker*
jenni_the_odd: But oh, how funny it would be if you did.
neonid: Heh.
jenni_the_odd: "This is Michael."
"Call me... MR. DYNAMO!"
<neonid> I guess you can't really fault someone for spelling it that way, unless you just want to be a snobby Brit!
  I'm not snobby! I'm elitist.
  <neonid>I love how that sort of thing works.  Makes me wonder what a Roman would have said to a Latin speaking Brit over the internet.
  <neonid>I III III VII
neonid: Hydrogen Peroxide is so cool.
jenni_the_odd: why's that, pray tell?
neonid: Because I did something really goofy with it.
jenni_the_odd: whaaaaat?
neonid: ...I poured some in my naval.
neonid: You're laughing too hard to reply, aren't you.
jenni_the_odd: not surprisingly, most men do not appreciate the adding of "of DOOM" to the name of sexual acts.
jenni_the_odd: I guess it's the whole idea of "when I come, so cometh the apocalypse"
jenni_the_odd: *snicker*
neonid: "Aww, jeez, you got War in my eye.  Nice job sureshot."
jenni_the_odd: heheheh
neonid: Now that I think about it, that would probably be enough to drive the horsemen back to the netherworld.  "Aww fuck, we're the harbingers of destruction and a new era of existence, and we have to ride forth proudly out of a COCK.  I mean, what the fuck, seriously?"
neonid: Jesus fuck that was creepy...
jenni_the_odd: ?
neonid: Heh.  I've no intent of actually using this, but I've been playing around with an internet personals site, and I went to Austin.  Problem was, I accidentally told it I was looking for another man.  Scared the shit out of me when the page came and I'm thinking "These are the women of Austin....WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH FACIAL HAIR"
jenni_the_odd: *dies*

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