2. My car is now so clean you could eat off the floors. I would not recommend doing so, but you could. Of course, that would probably mess the floors again, and I would have to kill you. KILL YOU.
3. I am tempted to try to send out
4. My former high school sells buckets 'o frozen cookie dough every year. This year, Mom bought some ridiculous amount. It fills our freezer. Cookies everywhere. DAMN MY DIET. DAMN IT TO HELL. No delicious cookies for me. Weep.
5. Someone in the office smells like stale cigarette smoke. I blame Stuart. Edit Nope, blame Ronald!
*Of course I would never take advantage of a friend's age to obtain sweet sweet BrainCellDeath. Except that one time I got Kevin to buy me some RUM as a gag gift for our mother. But that was it. Really.
**He is a beast - he is big, furry, and growly. I say he qualifies.