The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

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Dear Eddie Izzard: Please have my strangely-accented, bizzarely-dressed babies.

The house is empty. Being the only human in a huge house is very different from being the only human in a small apartment - mainly because inexplicable apartment noise is generally caused by other residents, and inexplicable house noise is generally caused by axe-weilding psychotic murderers outside the door and velociraptors in the kitchen.
... Or maybe the house is 'settling'. Yeah.
I love how the very first night my family is gone, I immediately stay up all night long piddling about on the computer. I decided to at least stay awake 'til daylight so I could let the puppy outside to run around a bit. I'm not even getting anything that could be called 'work' done - no homework, despite two tests this coming Friday that should worry me a lot and another test on the 28th that should worry me even more. Just reading through Bruno. I hate the strip, because I sympathize with the main character's whining far too often for my own liking, and most of the time I just want to slap her face and yell at her to quit crying and shut up already, or ask her friends why the fuck they haven't all tried to push her off the roof of a skyscraper, or at least ditched her pathetic ass. But I keep reading. Dammit.

I think one of the more telling - if not entirely accurate - tests of friendship lies in the question "would you allow [friend] to dress you?"

It's weird having two characters in love. I think I've heard crotalus_atrox refer to the ways characters manifest themselves as "creative schizophrenia" (I just tried four times to include a > after that last ". I am a sad, sad human). It can be a lot like renting out brainspace to strangers. And while I've had a number of characters in love, sometimes with each other, I've never had two that were completely in love, had a good relationship, and were both mine (Chris and Jael had Kaen and Divad, respectively, but both guys were Michael's characters and I still don't know them very well) all at once. It's a little strange to have a constant, lingering bit of romantic love-euphoria lurking at all times in the back of one's mind when one is not in anything resembling a relationship. It only appeared recently because one of them is new - and very unexpectedly clicked perfectly with an established character. I'd be nauseous all the time if they weren't so damned cute.

LOVE, SEX AND ROMANCE QUIZ
Name:Baron Esmeralda von Cheesebiscuit III, Esq.
Birthdate:Hatched from Space Egg in 1984
Hair:Long, brown/black, curlish. Currently down and all kinds of fluffy.
Eyes:Brown
Height:about 5'10"
Gender:Female thing.
How many true relationships have you had?:By some people's definitions, none. By other's, one or two. One being the most common agreed-upon number.
Have you ever been in love?:Yes.
What's your idea of a perfect date?:Watching a wonderfully horrible movie on a comfy couch. Heckling of said movie required.
Where's your favorite place to be kissed?:Seattle. I do not think that is what the question meant, though. And I have never been to Seattle.
How many sexual partners have you had?:Two. Possibly four, depending on your definitions of a few specific terms.
How many people have you kissed?:In a romantic or sexual sense, three.
Do you like to make the first move?:I will, but most of the time I am joking about it, or at least willing to settle for only joking about it. If someone hits on me, I will generally not only fail to recognize it, but will ask them for explicit clarification that yes, they are making a move.
Are you a snuggler?:Sometimes. Other times it is NOTOUCHY. Believe you me, I will let you know.
Do you kiss on the first date?:Sure, why not.
Where is the best place you've ever hooked up?:I do not know.
Do you consider yourself to be romantic?:Not so much.
Are you an angel or a devil in the sack?:Neither. I am an octopus. Wait, no, BAD MENTAL IMAGE. My *hair* is an octopus. Three-foot tendrils 'o death. It has tried to strangle people in the past.
Would you ever pay someone for sex?:Probably not.
Would you ever let someone pay YOU for sex?:Sure.
Do you keep your eyes open when you kiss?:Sometimes. If startled, they remain very wide open for a while.
What was your most embarrassing sexual moment?:Very untimely arrival of the period. Uggghhhh.
Have your parents ever caught you in a compromising position?:Nope. And I hope they never do, after the lecture I got for taking a fully-clothed nap with Kevin with no body parts save maybe hands touching.
Have you ever performed a striptease?:Sort of.
How about a lapdance?:No.
Have you ever received a lapdance?:No. I would probably be laughing too hard to enjoy it if I did.
Do you like sexual contact?:Not 99% of the time.
Are you straight, gay or bi?:Straight with "ooooooooohpretty" leerings at girls.
Have you ever made out with a member of the opposite sex?:Yeah.
Are you a giver or a taker?:Either/or, it depends entirely on my mood.
What do you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend?:Humor. If they cannot make me laugh, I'm outta there. Intelligence is also a requirement, no exceptions. A willingness to be silly. Floppy hair is fun.
Do you think you've met the person you'll spend the rest of your life with?:I doubt I will spend the rest of my life with any one person.
Do you know who your bridesmaids and groomsmen would be?: Oh god, no.
Have you ever regretted a hook-up?:Um, whatnow? I've never been able to pinpoint exactly what this slang term means. I *think* it refers to a one-night stand sort of thing, but I am not sure.
Have you ever cheated on a significant other?:No.
Have you ever hooked-up with someone already in a relationship?:Sort of. I say yes, I know a few people who would argue.
Have you ever cried over a member of the opposite sex?:Yes.
Have you ever had your heart broken?:Yes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?:No.
Would you date or marry someone if your parents didn't accept them?:Possibly, depending on the reasons for their disapproval. They are not stupid, meaning I'd do well to at least consider their objections.
How about if your friends didn't accept them?:Possibly, depending on the reasons for the disapproval and how much the opinions of the non-accepting friends mean to me.
What's the worst relationship you ever had?:I do not want to talk about it.
Have you ever done anything sexual while on the road?:Nope.
Would you kiss someone if you didn't love them?:I have kissed people I am not in love with, even in a romantic-type way. But they were still my friends and I loved them as such. So I'll pick 'maybe' on this one.
Who told you all about sex?: A book, the internet, and my friends.
Are you always horny?:No.
Are you a flirt?:Sometimes. I can flirt a lot without realizing it, but the convenient thing about being fat and unattractive is that it is easy to dismiss the flirting as joking, even when I mean it.
Are you a tease?:Sometimes.
Do you prefer to chase or BE chased?:Being chased creeps me out a bit. Okay, a lot.
Do you prefer morning or evening hook-ups?:I do not care.
Have you ever pulled an all-nighter with a member of the opposite sex, and woke up in each others arms?:No.
How old were you at the age of your first kiss?:18. Stop laughing.
How old were you when you lost your virginity?:18 or not yet, depending on your opinion of what one can do while remaining a virgin.
Do you sometimes wish you could change that?:Sometimes.
Do you enjoy being in a relationship?:There are two phases to my relationships with anyone, including friends. In phase 1, things are wonderful, love fills the air, unicorns are shitting rainbows all over hte fucking world. Phase 2, I start getting paranoid and thoroughly creeped out and try to run the hell away. I can alternate between phases and often do.
Are you currently in one?:No.
Has anyone ever fallen in love with you?:Yes.
Have you ever said "I Love You" and not meant it?:Yes. I decided it sucked, so I did not do it again.
Are you "noisy" when you get heated?:Sometimes. And you make it sound like I am being cooked. I think anyone would be noisy if you tried to shove them in an oven.
What is your kissing pet peeve?:I am not actually that fond of kissing, actually.
Do you think you're a good kisser?:I've been told I am decent-to-good at it. But again, just not that into the kissing.

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