The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

"I can't feel my leg..." *STOMP* "AUGH THERE IT IS" (or: In Which I Am Funny, Dammit)

Me: So hear me out - I've got an idea for a song.
Gabe: *pantomimes leaping out the car door*
Me: Shut up. Okay, so the music starts and it's a bunch of people... singing pi.
Gabe: Pi?
Me: Pi. *sings* Three point one four one six... you know. And they just keep going.
Gabe: Forever?
Me: Not quite. After a little while, long enough for the listener to catch on, a chant starts building, very softly. And it is "PI IS EXACTLY THREE. PI IS EXACTLY THREE." and it just keeps getting louder and louder until it's almost completely covering up the pi-singers.
Gabe: Oh my.
Me: And then, suddenly... A HUGE BURST OF GUNFIRE!
Gabe: O______O
Me: And for a few seconds, all is silent. Then tentatively, quietly, the pi song starts up again.
Gabe: Oh god...
Me: We can call it "Alabama"*.

Now, for Michael and I are Robots Theatre, starring jenni_the_odd (Unit Jenni), neonid (Unit Michael) and with special guest star happymrlocust as the Fleshy Hu-man!

Unit Jenni: *ROBO-HUG*
Fleshy Hu-man: GAHGIENGOIEGE
Unit Jenni: THE SOFT SQUISHY HU-MAN CANNOT HANDLE MY ROBO-HUG.
Unit Jenni: WILL ATTEMPT AGAIN, BUT WITH BUNNIES.
Unit Michael: ROBOLAUGH AT HUMAN MEATINESS
Unit Jenni: SQUISHY HU-MANS WILL BE CRUSHED!
Unit Michael: CRUSHED WITH LOVE
Unit Jenni: LOVE AND TITANIUM CLAWS
Unit Michael: MY DEPLETED URANIUM ARM SPIKES MAKE HUMANS FLOW WITH HAPPINESS FROM MY TENDER HUGS
Unit Jenni: HAPPINESS IS WARM AND STICKY.
Unit Michael: HAPPINESS IS THE ONE TO MY ZERO.  HAPPINESS IS THE SOUL TO MY STEEL.  HAPPINESS IS THE HUMAN TO MY CARBON STEEL CROTCH BITER.
Unit Jenni: UNIT JENNI IS TRYING VERY HARD NOT TO UPLOAD THE VAGINA DENTATA SONG.
Unit Michael: UNIT MICHAEL TRIES AT NOTHING.  THIS UNIT SUCCEEDS.
Unit Jenni: THIS UNIT FALLS DOWN STAIRS AND YELLS "EXTERMINATE" A LOT.
Unit Jenni: THIS UNIT ALSO HAS PLUNGER ENVY.

*Note: I originally wanted it to be about something actually happening. Namely, about evolution and called "Kansas", but I wasn't sure how to sing evolution. Suggestions are welcome.
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