The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

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I have about seven sketchbooks piled on my scanner. It's not all of my sketchbooks - another one has most of the pages ripped out, which I've tucked away in a bin. Another is floating around my room somewhere. And there's a wealth of drawings from the period when I shunned sketchbooks in favor of computer paper stuffed carefully into folders. They span from  my sophomore year or high school through the beginning of my freshman year of college. I just flipped through them, and was surprised to find myself going "crap, crap, that's crap, holy god, that's not natural, crap, that's crap, that's a bit better, that's kind of cute, hey I like this,  and this one is actually pretty good... aaand we're back to crap."
Somewhere around the end of junior/beginning of senior year of high school, my art was the best it's ever been*. And, I sometimes fear, the best it will ever be. That was before my hands got so shaky, before everything got so twitchy. Back when I had millions and millions of stories teeming forth in a jumbled mess from my brain, and it was delightful to just sit and sort them out. Before I lost patience with the whole artistic process. When I wasn't afraid to ink and color a picture with markers, pencils, gel pens, anything I could find because I instinctively knew what would fit with the image.

Now I need to put them on the shelf and finish cleaning and organizing the Batcave.

*This is my opinion. My work was not technically perfect in any way, but it was attractive and it was consistant - possibly the only time in my life that I was able to draw someone looking the same way twice.

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