Written really fast, with a lot of giggling and almost no revision. :D
Oh, just remember I was at your house from two to three this morning
And please tell the police that when they show up without warning...
I promise, someday I'll explain to you why that whore had to die.
But in the meantime baby, won't you be my alibi...
Oh baby, baby, won't you be
Won't you be my alibi
I need someone to cover
Where I was from four to nine
Darlin' I know you'll help me out
'Cause you love me, you're the best.
And if you don't, why I suspect
That you just might be next.
I know I got in late last night, I know I woke you up
And I know that it scared you when I was covered in blood
But if anybody asks, I was just painting something red,
And please try to look real shocked if they tell you someone's dead.
You've heard a lot about me from your friends and from my exes,
How I never make eye contact and I'm barred from the state of Texas,
But if you'd asked my ex-wife she'd say I never even hit her
Now go tell the cops I'm sweet as pie while I clean the wood chipper.
Someone's on my tail, sweetheart, I suspect that you've been talkin'
It's no use trying to lie, and I'd say to tell your story walkin'--
Only problem is, my dear, you've seen what no one knows
So stop screaming, darling, or else it gets the hose.
Copyright ME, BITCHES. It will totally be a huge success on the country charts.