The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

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Baby, Won't You Be My Alibi?

The WorstBest Country Song, Ever.

Written really fast, with a lot of giggling and almost no revision. :D
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Oh, just remember I was at your house from two to three this morning
And please tell the police that when they show up without warning...
I promise, someday I'll explain to you why that whore had to die.
But in the meantime baby, won't you be my alibi...

[chorus]
Oh baby, baby, won't you be
Won't you be my alibi
I need someone to cover
Where I was from four to nine
Darlin' I know you'll help me out
'Cause you love me, you're the best.
And if you don't, why I suspect
That you just might be next.

I know I got in late last night, I know I woke you up
And I know that it scared you when I was covered in blood
But if anybody asks, I was just painting something red,
And please try to look real shocked if they tell you someone's dead.

You've heard a lot about me from your friends and from my exes,
How I never make eye contact and I'm barred from the state of Texas,
But if you'd asked my ex-wife she'd say I never even hit her
Now go tell the cops I'm sweet as pie while I clean the wood chipper.

Someone's on my tail, sweetheart, I suspect that you've been talkin'
It's no use trying to lie, and I'd say to tell your story walkin'--
Only problem is, my dear, you've seen what no one knows
So stop screaming, darling, or else it gets the hose.

Copyright ME, BITCHES. It will totally be a huge success on the country charts.
Tags: oh noetry
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