The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

So, I have to give a speech in Business Communications class on Monday. Any topic. The point is not the topic, the point is the giving of the speech.
And being able to talk about ANYTHING is a million times worse than being assigned a crappy topic, let me tell you.

Alex is helping me come up with this, which may wind up being a handout of sorts:
Speech Topics I Vetoed, And Why

Topic 1: T-Rex Wrestling as the Ultimate Career
Vetoed due to time constraints.

Topic 2: Biography of Heiner Mueller, German Post-Modern Dramatist
Vetoed due to an inability to say "Mueller" in anything but a Ben Stein voice after seeing the name written. Also, insistence on calling him "Heiney" not well received among scholars.

Topic 3: Evil Dead The Musical in Five Minutes
Vetoed due to a relentless case of the giggles and a persistent, driving need to include the Thriller dance.

Topic 4: Strange Internet Links* My Pet Canadian** Has Sent Me
Vetoed due to the fact that because said pet Canadian has not had his shots, cannot bring him as a visual aid. And trust me, you don't want any other relevant item as a visual aid in this one. Just... just trust me.

Topic 5: Topic Two, as Told Via Interpretive Dance
Vetoed due to interference by that last remaining shred of dignity.

Topic 6: A Brief History of Time
Vetoed due to licensing issues.

Topic 7: A Freudian Reading of Peanuts
Vetoed due to thoroughly creeping myself out. Seriously, Linus? Ten degrees of messed up, there.

Topic 8: An Encyclopedic Listing of Citrus Fruits, in Limerick Form
Vetoed due to inability to rhyme "orange." Or "kumquat." Or "lime."
... I am not so good at poetry.

*Not work, home, brain, or soul safe.
**ramaxela
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