The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

Have an out-of-context Easter.

  • "Okay, who told Uncle Rick that small children are filled with candy?"

  • "... A skeleton bear. That sprays ice cream. What?"
    "Now you're just making stuff up."
    "Yeah, the bear that secretes ice cream, maybe, but a skeleton bear? You lost me."

  • "Shame on you, Jennifer!"
    "What'd she do?"
    "Nothing."
    "Oh. So, just keeping up a baseline level of shame, then."
    "Yes."

  • "You were so pretty!"
    "Yes, I am."

  • "It's cute how your car requires a key to turn on."
    "It's cute how STFU."

  • "I like how everyone in our family goes into this frothing rage at the mention of Joel Osteen."
    "Joel Osteen? Have you seen Grandpa's impression of him?"
    "I... haven't seen it enough?"

  • "What's that in your hair?"
    "It's... stuff."
    "Is it snot?"
    "What is it with you and snot today?"
    "It's nature's all-purpose adhesive!"
    "No, it's not."
    "It's snot."
    "It's not snot."
    "It's not snot not snot."
    "Snotty-snot-snot."
    "Not not snot, it's snot. "
    "... What were we talking about?"

  • "Is that ice cream?"
    "No, it's butter."
    D:

  • "If you loved those sprinkles, you'd have used more of them."
    "I do love them!"
    "I don't believe you. And neither do they."
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