"But Jenni," you say, "we are your friends! We love you! Even when you do bad things. Sometimes especially when you do bad things."
"I know," I say, "but this is... different. This was kind of wrong in many ways."
"Jenni," you remind me, "we are pretty into things that are wrong in many ways. Now tell us, what did you do? We are here for you."
"I'm so glad you said that," I say, "because I made these Bacon Chocolate-Chip Cookies, and-- where are you going?"