The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain
jenni_the_odd

More Glee fun times.

All right, Glee, redeem yourself. Time to watch The Substitute.

  • Maybe I'm only noticing this because I've been watching a glut of Glee episodes lately, but those cheerleaders have opened every episode by lugging a (presumably new) ginormous trophy through the halls. I guess the Cheerios are doing well, then?
  • Oh god, Principal Sue. Are there two more frightening words in the English language?
  • Figgins' face (and the background music) are the best things about this season thus far. I will hear no argument on this.
  • Of course Sue changed her mind and has decided to destroy the glee club! The writers can't be expected to come up with anything new. I mean, that'd be haaaaaaard.
  • Okay, I'm not the world's biggest fan of children (small children make me nervous; I generally much prefer interacting with them once they've become more human than tiny primate at around 7 years or older), but the mini-gleeks made my ovaries twinge through the power of sheer cute.
  • OH GOD TERRI'S BACK RUN WILL RUN RUN AWAY
  • Wait a minute, Will, you've been having your next-door neighbor take care of you? Wuss.
  • "That's because you like me best when I'm weak." And Will gets his first zinger this season!
  • Oh god, nothing turns my stomach more than baby-talk. Seriously. I cannot stand it, unless it is addressed to animals, because they do not care, they just want the pettings or the treat or the attention.
  • "I don't want to play Sick Baby with you" OH GOD, is that one of their sex things PLEASE SAY NO.
  • Rachel's shirt is cute. And thematically appropriate for the episode, based on the spoilers I've seen.
  • I would love nothing more than to see Santana take down Rachel in a fist fight. That'd be hilarious. Just sayin'.
  • How does one fit an alligator into a car? Maybe Gweneth Sub-Paltrow has an SUV.
  • ... As it turns out, everyone at William McKinley High School can sing, including Random Students who have been convinced to harmonize as backup vocals. It's like friggin High School Musical up in there. I choose to secretly believe that this is why no one pays any attention to the glee kids--if everyone can sing, nothing they're doing is all that special.
  • "You smell homeless, Brett. Homeless." There's the bitchy, snarky Kurt I know and love. I have missed you, Bitchy Kurt. Never leave me again.
  • Buttering the floor?
  • "I'm Mike Chang." Hah! And double-HAH for Mike's expression of approval.
  • How would that video tell her who any of them were?
  • "Those songs were about 30 years old..." And we have today's theme, with which we will be beaten over the head.
  • In what universe is anyone that excited for Taco Bell? Oh, wait, they live in Ohio and have never had actual Tex-Mex food. Nevermind (and yes, Taco Bell is MUCH closer to Tex-Mex than actual Mexican food. And yes, Tex-Mex and authentic Mexican food are two very different things. Both delicious).
  • There is no way the marijuana joke would get that big a laugh. Maybe a few snorts and some raised eyebrow/smirk combinations. Writers, you are Trying Too Hard.
  • Puck, 99% of the things you have to say are illegal.
  • "There's gotta be a Journey song we haven't done yet!" HAH.
  • Sub-Paltrow's little skirt is adorable, true, but also totally inappropriate for a teacher.
  • This song is catchy as hell, and I think I like this version more than the original. Sub-Paltrow absolutely kills it. I had no idea she could sing.
  • Kurt, never dance like that again. This is your last warning.
  • ... Oh, Kurt, I can't stay mad at you, even when you look ridiculous.
  • Kurt looks so happy during this song, which is totally at odds with how he's seemed for most of the past couple episodes. It pleases me.
  • "Let's go get some tacos!" Sub-Paltrow, the way you pronounce Spanish words annoys me greatly. Stop that.
  • HAH, BEISTE WINS. SUCK ON IT, SUE.
  • Hahaha, Coach Beiste just pointing to the athlete's foot spray and saying "No." amuses me greatly.
  • "... my war against sitting." She wrote, sitting in her office...
  • Aaand here we go, the camera manages to find the only students besides Mercedes and Lauren Zizes (had to look her name up on IMDB--hey, her actress is from Houston. And was also Carter in "Huge"; I thought she looked familiar.) at WMHS who are above-average body weight. Seriously, everyone else at this school is fairly thin. I find it hard not to note that all the fat students are also female, and unfashionably dressed.
  • Mike Chang's Serious Face is a thing of beauty and hilarity.
  • Matthew Morrison and Harry Shum Jr. have some excellent vaudville-style physical comedy going on here. The visuals on Glee during musical numbers are usually just something to occupy your eyes while the song is the real focus, but here the non-singer is really getting a chance to shine, the visuals are enjoyable, and I think it's done well.
  • Hee, Rachel's mask.
  • Oh god, Sue's Girly Bonding with the substitute is watching Animal Hoarders and drinking wine. Sue and I would totally be friends.
  • Is the whole sub-could-become-the-regular-teacher thing even possible? Aren't there things like contracts, and unions? Oh wait, this is Glee, and reality has no bearing here. Carry on.
  • Of course the fat girl is the one upset about the lack of fried food. Of course. Lord knows that's all we do, bitch about the removal of junk food from our schools. I don't begrudge them the storyline, but would it kill them to maybe have it driven by a character whose body DOESN'T make people assume she's shoving an endless amount of tater tots down her gullet on a regular basis?
  • "Gangster Rap Musical Chairs". I approve of this game SO HARD.
  • "Here are the answers to the pop quiz" Sub-Paltrow, you kind of suck, too.
  • "I found a Journey song we haven't done yet!" Hee.
  • Of course Rachel would love someone with a catchphrase. Rachel has probably experimented with trying to make a catch phrase of her own catch on.
  • Sane Terri is a little confusing and frightening. Do not trust her, Will.
  • "Baby likes his soup." EWWW.
  • "I'n not gonna kill you." SHE MIGHT.
  • No, Will, don't do it! Nooooooooo!
  • Okay, the pre-digested food thing is hilarious. Pastel foam is never not funny. You hear me, Top Chef? Foam is not food, it is a comedy prop.
  • Kurt's reaction to the sudden tots riot is great. "Whoa-oohhmygod!"
  • Again, Sub-Paltrow, that is one inappropriate garment. The song is cute, at least. Though compared to the other songs in this episode, which are either more visually engaging or much catchier, it falls a bit flat.
  • I am willing to bet that Sue imagined those letters from parents. Or she wrote them herself.
  • I would like to see Mercedes' collection of "Mercedes" necklaces. There's been something like five in this episode alone.
  • The little hallucination Mercedes has is funny--it works, I think, because this is a double-whammy in her relationship with Kurt. Teenagers in particular have a habit of ditching their friends for their crushes and for the causes they are fond of taking up. Kurt happens to have both going on here at once, and frankly I'd be shocked if he didn't start to tune his friends out at least a little.
  • Again, Glee has another Very Valid Argument about education, and the merits of 'fun' teaching vs. strict teaching. And again, no one leaves with a proper answer.
  • That... is the WTF-iest flashback, ever. I don't even. What.
  • Oh god, "I live on one-night stands" DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER, WILL. NO. I will be so pissed if he sleeps with every attractive female guest star.
  • "Are you a porn star or a drag queen?" Oh, Psycho Terri, there you are.
  • Does this mean no more Psycho Terri? I refuse to believe that she's really never coming back. She'll show up randomly in season 3 and somehow become principal, won't she.
  • Ah, yes, Mercedes substitutes food for love. Like all fat girls do.
  • In all fairness, Kurt, you are substituting Blaine for a boyfriend, despite claims that you are just buds, amirite? Or have we gotten to the sweet, sweet boykissing yet?
  • "Take care of yourself" and "treat yourself with a little respect" are so often code words for "lose weight" that I have trouble registering anything but disdain for Kurt in this little scene. If it weren't for the fact that it's been established that he thinks Mercedes is fabulous as she is I'd be super-annoyed. As it is, I am moderately irked and grumbly. The show had actually done well in not making every single fat joke the writers could think up (which, sadly, is the best one can hope for with most of TV) right up until the phrasing of that little interaction.
  • And ladies and gentlemen, we have a death threat.
  • W-why would you rub the underside of your breasts with poison sumac? D:
  • "He taught me how to tie my shoelaces." Oh god, Sam is the male Brittany.
  • "... my time as President--" "Principal." Hee.
  • I wonder how Jane Lynch feels, as an openly gay actor, about being given the bulk of the homophobic jokes in this show. At first it was easy to dismiss, since Sue was clearly not tethered to this reality. But the writers have been edging Sue into possibly-rational territory for a while now, and she's made a number of very good, very valid observations. Yet the jokes continue unabated.
  • Wow, Schuester really can't handle any sort of threat to his authority, can he? Even the kids saying they liked the sub makes him visibly bristle.
  • Bipolar disorder is hilarious, y'all. HILARIOUS.
  • Poor Artie, stuck over in the corner for most of the song, and cut out of most of the camera shots. Come on, choreographers, there's got to be some way to incorporate a wheelchair in the cool water-splashy-dance time. :(
  • I do like "Umbrella," and both Paltrow and Morrison do a lovely job with their respective vocals, but I don't know that it meshes well with "Singin' in the Rain." The visuals, however, are excellent. One of the coolest-looking productions Glee has done.
  • Also, maybe, if Sectionals are in two weeks, the glee club ought to be working on songs that, oh, I dunno, feature a student instead of their teacher as lead vocalist. Maybe?

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  • Tags: glee
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