The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain (jenni_the_odd) wrote,
The Dark-Eyed Mistress of Sweet, Sweet Pain

Glee: Count Boozy Von Drunkaton's Flying Circus

Gahh, behind on show. Thesis eating my brain. :(

All right then, er'rybody in Glee club gettin' tipsy. Blame it on the A-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. Or something.

  • Hee, "Giggle juice".
  • Has anyone ever been wasted on learning?
  • Man, these kids are amateurs. My high school was full of barely-functional alcoholics. Also a fair number of cokeheads, but they've already done the decongestant Very Special Episode.
  • Yes, Four Loko is the end of civilization, etc. etc. etc.
  • Oh, is April Rhodes back giving booze to minors? Can we look forward to more puking 12 year-old milkmaid Kurt?
  • "Kee-dollar-sign-ha" Yes.
  • Will, the only reason you and Emma are not friends is because you are a giant douchebucket who can't handle the idea of her being happy without sexing you on a regular basis.
  • Nothing says "I'm SO not over you" like a toaster.
  • "The bestial horror of your craven sexual advances" is probably the best description of Will's sexual antics. Point, Sue.
  • Oh god. Isn't that how Terri got rid of the nurse in "Vitamin D"? What is it with this show and pushing innocent people down stairs? D:
  • "When you get to the top, I'm gonna knock you back down." Clearly, this is becoming a Thing with Sue. I'm afraid.
  • Hah, Puck doesn't even know what the upcoming competition is. Quite frankly, I'm always surprised he manages to find his way to the choir room.
  • Hey, BradTinkles lives!
  • Awkward and sad hug is awkward and sad. Made awkarder and sadder by the fact that unless Cory Monteith leans down, Lea Michele is forced to hug his waist.
  • Finn has no idea who those people are, Rachel. Surely you know this.
  • Oh, well, now he's told you that himself.
  • ... A song about hair accessories. What the hell.
  • Oh god. The rhymes. I have had enough terrible rhyming this semester to last me a LIFETIME, between open mics and Laurels submissions...
  • Hahahahhaaha, Finn's response to the lyrics is pretty close to mine: Yeah.
  • "My headband! You're my headband!" "... Is this song about your headband?" "Yes. It's about my headband."
  • This journey cannot begin now, because she is wearing a dress covered in scottie dogs.
  • Santittaney and Artcedes. Hee.
  • OH GOD THERE IS A PORTRAIT OF HER and what the fuck is she wearing. Rachel, you get back in that time machine and give that nightgown back to the nice lady in 1970 you stole it from. Shame on you.
  • Now I can't help but wonder what the hell it is Finn's into that it's considered blackmail material. Surely it can't be normal porn. I'm going to assume he's a furry and move on.
  • This is the first time in years Blaine hasn't worn the Warblers uniform, I suspect. Pretty sure he still had it on under his coat at the football game a few episodes ago.
  • "I like to give impromptu performances for our neighbors sometimes." Of course you do, Rachel. Of course you do.
  • Rachel, never call anyone "girlfriend" again.
  • Hahaha. "No sitting on anything!"
  • Please tell me Tina/Mike and Brittany/Artie have a double date. That would be precious.
  • Also, I still love Brittany's fashion sense. Even that horrific ruffled jacket thing that looks like she skinned a muppet.
  • Oh god, this song. There are not enough words to describe how much I dislike it. D:
  • Yes, Rachel. It tastes like pink. This will end badly. Also, she is the only one getting drunk off two wine coolers, because she weighs eighty pounds.
  • What the hell is Kurt wearing; is that some sort of S&M harness again or did he put his suspenders on in the dark with one hand?
  • "Clearly he doesn't have the same concern." HAHAHA. God I love Harry Frikkin' Potter. And his terrible drunken dancing. Seriously, I crack the hell up every time the camera cuts to that.
  • I am Finn at pretty much every party I have ever been to. Though I am generally more amused by the drunkey people. They're silly and easily messed with, and I am not near as nice as people tend to think I am. :D
  • This is the best night of Artie's life. No lie. Bless her heart, Brit-Brit was halfway to stripper while sober, so.
  • I kind of want to watch the antics of drunken Mercedes and Tina. I would find that highly entertaining.
  • "SPIN. Thebottle." Yeah, I've totally been Finn at parties, watching that last glorious second go down before a horrible plan is enacted.
  • Does... does Rachel know his last name isn't "Warbler"?
  • Wow, that... Okay. You guys. I can hear Kurt's blood pressure rising. Ten more seconds and he'd have an aneurysm.
  • Yessssssssss, this song.
  • HAHAHA bedazzled microphones!
  • Harry Frikkin Potter: Making cardigans hot.
  • Kurt either agrees, or he is actually a serial killer intent on chopping up both Blaine and Rachel. That look on his face could go either way.
  • Y'all, I'm just saying, clearly my parties have not had enough singing. I will be forcing my friends to sing from now on. I expect I will run out of friends very quickly.
  • Compared to my party experiences, limited though they be, there has not been nearly enough puking in this episode thus far.
  • Aww, Brit-Brit and Artie exchanged accessories, and the look works for both of them.
  • Puck in Lauren's glasses is hilarious.
  • Am I the only one who is surprised that Kurt's dad didn't freak out a little more? I mean, regardless of sexuality, this is still his 16 year-old kid having someone to whom he is attracted spend the night in his bed. Apparently fully clothed, sure, but still.
  • Ah, there's the puking.
  • What the hell kind of hangover lasts this long? Drink some goddamn water, eat some scrambled eggs, and take a nap, kids. Sheesh.
  • Hey, y'all, it's time for the titular song, a.k.a. the Date Rape Anthem!
  • This is probably the least appropriate song for Alcohol Awareness Week, ever. And were it not for the random shot of Shue applauding, I'd assume it was one of the fantasy performance sequences Glee does sometimes.
  • Can I just say, I love love LOVE how they dress Lauren? She looks awesome in that hat.
  • Quinn looks kind of like Jackie O and Audrey Hepbern had a baby and it turned all goth. I kind of love it.
  • "You aint lived until you seen me in a ~cowboy haaaat~" I love Beiste. So, so much.
  • Of course the wine is pink. Of course it is.
  • Oh, fuck you, Kurt. Way to marginalize other people for their sexuality.
  • Ohhhh, points to Harry Frikkin' Potter, there. Kurt, other people's sexuality is not about you. Sorry, dude. I know how much it hurts to hear someone say they're not really ready for a relationship and then turn directly around and enter into one, and it sucks like nothing else, but that is still not an excuse for your behavior.
  • On the other hand, comparing Kurt having a hissyfit at him to the death threats Kurt received... I'm not quite on with that.
  • Are we gonna get a Beiste song? Please? That would be awesome.
  • Lord help me, Shue looks good. I'm from Texas, I can't help it; a cowboy hat is instant sexy.
  • Shannon the Cannon. <3
  • Another set of sparkly mics. I approve.
  • Wait, isn't this, like, four days after the party? She waited this long to clean up?
  • Kurt, the catty sniping isn't helping you earn any sympathy points. Even when it's funny.
  • ... Whose bra is that in the background? Brittany's? I think she was wearing a pink bra. And she was stripping. Well then.
  • Not gonna lie, I was terrified they were going to give us a drunken Schue/Beiste hookup. But that kiss and the "I love you" was actually really cute and non-romantic.
  • Hahahahaha, drunken grading is the most hilarious kind of grading. Now I can't stop imagining my professors grading papers drunk. I bet it'd be hysterical. Especially the really nerdy ones. I am imagining long-winded rants about obscure Shakespearian trivia in the margins of essays.
  • "I don't even know who you are!"
  • Uh-oh. Emma's name is right above Sue's. This is bad. This is so bad.
  • Kurt, your dad is not asking anything unreasonable from you. Seriously. The snitfit is not warranted. I know when I was 16-17, my parents sure as hell wouldn't have allowed a boy to sleep over at my house (and none of my friends' parents would have allowed sex-to-whom-their-kids-are-attracted sleepovers, either).
  • Oh god, Rachel has concocted the most horrific suicide-drink ever. D: I know people who have eaten bugs for entertainment value who probably wouldn't drink that shit.
  • "Tik and also Tok" hee. Oh, Figgins. Never change. <3
  • Brittany does a good Ke$ha, not gonna lie. Possibly better than the real Ke$ha.
  • This will end in vomit. Callin' it right now. Vomit.
  • Also, I would watch Heather Morris dance forever. Seriously. Woman can move.
  • HAH, Figgins dancing!
  • Caaaaaaalled iiiiiiiit~
  • Aaaaahahahaaha. Drink responsibly, indeed.
  • This is possibly the best anti-alcohol message that any of these students could ever receive.
  • This is the worst moment of Will's life. Pretty sure it even beats out the divorce. And Emma's marriage.
  • By contrast, it may be the most entertaining moment of the glee kids' lives.
  • Aww, Sue, let Becky play the tiny xylophone some more. The delightful tinkling is the perfect counterpoint to the soul-crushing humiliation Will is feeling right now.
  • "Count Boozy von Drunkaton" is a great name.
  • Wait, Figgins thinks Will has a sex/love addiction... and is content to let him work with young, nubile teens. Yes. That's a smart plan.
  • "Being thrown up on, it just does something to a person." That it does, Rachel. That it does.
  • "That is so racist." Mercedes: "..."
  • "Like, what, exactly?" And just like that, New Directions pointed out to Will how empty and meaningless his life truly is.
  • Hooray, pledge forms! I know those work so well in keeping kids from having sex, surely they'll be just as effective in preventing teen drinking!
  • "That's my cell phone number." "YES." Hah!
  • "What about after we win Nationals?" WHISKEY FOR EVERYONE.
  • "Yup. I'm gay." Harry Potter, that was the awkwardest possible way to handle that. Also it completely disregarded any feelings Rachel may have had. Harry Frikkin' Potter, you are kind of a dick sometimes.
  • Thankfully, Rachel seems to have taken it well.
  • Kurt is fairly certain Rachel is certifiably insane. He may be right.
  • I really, really wish they could have done some sort of acknowledgement of the fluidity of sexuality, or, you know, the existence of bisexuality outside of the two-hot-girls-kissing-for-the-benefit-of-dudes arena, which is the primary way the show's really approached it so far with Brittany and Santana. Or just in any way NOT made it look like bisexuality is just confusion, nothing more. Sigh. Show, why you do this thing. Why.

    This entry was originally posted at You can comment here or there; it matters only that you comment PLEASE I NEED THE ATTENTION OH GOD PLEASE LOVE ME *SOB*.
  • Tags: glee

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